The Zoo Hypothesis
by xxbeyondxbirthdayxx
Summary: Matt, astrobiologist, is starting to wonder about his use at the Search for Extra Terrestrial Intelligence centre, as he steps in for his first day of work after boringly studying samplings from Mars during the years he spent at the NASA. Little did he know that they weren't searching anymore... MATT POV
1. Chapter 1

_**Note:** I know that I have several stories to update, but I decided to go with what I had in mind instead of forcing updates for already posted ongoing stories. Said updates will come, don't worry, I never give up a story and don't plan to reiterate the exploit of completing a story after a two years hiatus on it, but right now I will just get this story out of my system so I can focus on the others next :)  
There's probably a TSFMS update coming this week, just so you know!_

_Back to this story. I thought it would probably be a long oneshot, but now I know it will be too long to keep it as one, so we're more on something the length of seaweed, maybe shorter._  
_If you don't know what S.E.T.I. is or does, just google it, Wikipedia explains it quite well, or just head for seti dot org. I don't know if everything is accurate (probably not) but I tried to make it believable, if not exact, so sorry for any misinformation. Same goes for the title of the fic ;)_

_Thank you for reading me, for the support even when I was away, reviews much appreciated because I'm still trying to improve (and will probably never stop trying) for the sake of the novel I'm currently writing (and will publish if I can see the end of it someday). I'm not asking for the count, I don't give a f*ck about it, you're just the best at pointing out what's wrong with my writing :)_

* * *

S.E.T.I.  
All those years of studying finally led to something. I barely knew what I wanted to do as a job when I graduated from high school -hell, I was as lazy and laid-back as humanly possible and passed every scholar year only because I was the height of lazy: I'd rather work the required minima than do the same level twice - and chose what I was good for: science and biology. Well ok, I was also good at physics, maths, languages, everything that involved numbers, calculus, rules or facts. If it was logical, I could manage. Don't ask about philosophy or sports though. Those were far out of reach for me. If the result of my thinking couldn't be an established solution, not only was I pretty bad at it, but I didn't _care _for it, the latter probably influencing the first.

Series of events had led me to make choices all along my life, and little by little had driven me quite without me even knowing it to where I was now, pushing the door of the _Search for Extra Terrestrial Intelligence _centre.  
I didn't even think that they would hire me when my old school friend Gavin gave it a try and encouraged me to do the same. Strangely, when I got the job when he didn't even land himself an interview, our seven years old friendship didn't mean anything anymore to him. Ah... but that's not quite the point here.

The morning was pretty dull. I thought that it would probably be a lot more exciting to work here than in my previous job as an astrobiologist. I had studied residues and samplings from Mars for years and grew quite bored of it.  
I was still a bit surprised, as I was given the tour of the centre, that Gavin's Curriculum Vitae hadn't been preferred to mine. He was specialised in submillimeter-wave continuum and spectral line studies, which I was not. To make it simple, he studied what the S.E.T.I. needed, unlike me. Well, astrobiology was needed, but on such a lower level compared to someone who could study star signals and make clear if they actually were E.T. or not (kind of, you're never so sure with those things...) that it didn't really make sense to me.

So, talking about excitement, it did pretty much nothing to me in the end to be introduced to high end scientists (because I was actually one of them, so not very impressed after all), million dollars devices and radars, and at lunch time, once that I had seen everything around, mostly, and that my specific workspace was the only unknown variant in the new job equation, I didn't know if I had made the right choice. I wouldn't earn a lot more than I did before, and money wasn't my main focus since I didn't lack it in any way, and I still hadn't seen anything worth getting all worked up about. Oh, well... maybe I should simply take into account that the last thing I had actually been worked up about was Diablo III, and it wasn't even that good in the end, so maybe I was just difficult to please and should shut my inner voice up because some others would kill to be in my shoes right now.

I munched on a tasteless sandwich (you'd think that they would put a little effort and money into the cafeteria's food here, but I guess that they didn't have anything left after spending so much on the latest technology) while people came and went around, greeting me, and my mentor kept on babbling about the place. I registered, but barely nodded. I wasn't the talkative kind, and I feared that replying would actually fuel the flow of words escaping that mouth at an insane speed.

Strangely, I mentally took back my idea that this one was my mentor when he left me knocking at an office door after lunch to meet the person that was in charge of my work group. I entered when told to and felt immediately uneasy. The person, a man in his mid thirties, not bad looking to his defense, started flirting almost immediately, and while I'm as gay as the sky is blue (as in, sometimes it's grey and I'm not against girls once in a while...), there was something nasty in that kind of seductive attitude that set me off. Call me narrow-minded, but I don't like to mix work and pleasure.

The flirting eventually lessened when my boss started to look uneasy himself, and took a dead serious expression as he began to touch on the subject of the studies the group I was joining conducted.  
"See, Matt... I can call you Matt?" - he didn't even wait for a positive answer from me to go on - "I have decided to diversify the panel of fields represented in our group, because, of course, I believe that different experiences bring new blood to our studies. But you may wonder why we focused on the astrobiology field, and you will understand the reason very soon, just after we're done with this conversation, actually. I just wanted to make sure, and emphasize, that the confidentiality clause of your contract is the main key here. Should you break it, you'd start something that you wouldn't be able to handle. Am I being clear?"

No, not at all. Apart from the fact that threats were hinted at me, who would get something clear out of so much mystery? I didn't like this at all. What was it all about, and where did I just step in? I hoped that it wasn't anything illegal or dangerous...  
I nodded for good measure and stood when the man stood, gesturing for me to exit the office. He followed in my tracks and once in the corridor, he preceded me through more corridors and doors and stairs and elevators. I wasn't even sure that I'd find my way back.

"This is your entrance door from now on,", my boss said when we reached a huge security door leading to an external stairway giving on a parking that wasn't the one I had arrived from this morning, handing me out a pass, "You should only meet the people from the group as for now. There's no need to expose us to meeting others and chatting around, is there?" He winked, but it was far from connivance. So, I wasn't allowed to talk about what I'd see from now on, I got it, but going as far as not even taking the risk for us to meet persons we wouldn't be working with was a bit far fetched. Or there was something beyond my imagination taking place behind those doors. It started to creep me out, really.

We finally entered in the protected area. It looked like a hospital, and did the same effect on me. Talk about feeling welcome, it was just cold and dull.  
"So, here we are." my mentor said, before getting his eye scanned and typing a few numbers on the pad. He got my own left eye scanned, inserted my pass, typed some more, and I suppose that I'd have to x-ray my retina every morning from now on. Coffee with your burnt iris, sir?

But when the door opened, and that the workspace of my group was revealed to me, whatever creepy feeling I had been feeling until now was nothing compared to the way my heart sank to my feet when I saw what I saw.

A few of my co-workers were at their desk, some other seats were empty, and said desks were forming a half-circle around a safe glass cubicle (well, it was round but I was too much on the brick of wetting myself at that point to care about the accuracy of my choice of words), with probably less than three yards between the desks and the safe glass.  
My now colleagues were obviously accustomed to the sight and were merely studying their screens and glancing from time to time at the... whatever was behind the window-pane.  
They stood up at our sight and came to greet us.

"A bit shaken, yeah?" a tall black haired guy laughed, shaking my hand in a friendly way. Which didn't warm my heart like it would have, had circumstances been more regular-first-day-at-work like.  
The other guy, short and almost bald, shook my hand and went back to his desk, lips pinched in a 'what-a-noob' expression. Excuse me for not being prepared to see this, moron.

"I bet you've never imagined they'd actually exist, right?" Boss chuckled, pushing me toward the glass. I reluctantly took a few steps as he insisted that I approached the cubicle, his words erasing the last hope I had that it wasn't what I had immediately knew it was. So it was real...

Now I knew what I was doing here, but it didn't comfort me. I wanted to unknow, to unsee, to get back to my previous boring job with the yucky coffee and the back-breaking chair and still be ignorant of what I was acknowledging now. I was scared. As in knowing I was losing every ounce of what made my world safe, imagining the worst scenarios of exo-invasion just like some people irrationally fear the end of the world in 2012... that kind of fear, the one that's more real than little day-to-day ones, the one that looks like a threat to everything you hold dear. Like wondering about things and once you know they exist, you'd give an arm for them not to...

I should have been excited, a lot more than for Diablo III, because that was a new awaited game release times ten thousand, but I was just on the verge of crying.  
"Don't feel bad, we've all been there... that's quite a shock the first time, but in no time you'll get used to seeing your new friend everyday!" Gennaro tried to cheer me up. The black haired guy, who was obviously Italian, if I was correct about guessing his accent, handed me coffee in a mug that said 'I hope there's a coffee machine on the moon'. I took a gulp, concentrating on names and voices of the people around me to prevent myself from breaking down, which would be pretty lame on my first day (or any day for that matter), and grimaced at the taste. He had spiced it up with a not-so-reasonable shot of rhum, but I guess I probably needed it.

Jon, the bald guy, gave me a look, shrugged and went back to his screen, mumbling something along the lines of "if we could all get back to work now." I think I won't be able to like him.

The rhum helping, I relaxed a bit, and Boss took this as his cue to go on with the matter. Standing on my left, he encircled my shoulders in a patronizing way, and Gennaro came to my right. I felt kind of trapped, even if they probably didn't mean it that way. I had no choice but to face what was behind the glass. I was as close as possible (and too close to my likings), and although it was safely locked up, I couldn't help but prepare myself for it to jump at me at any second. But it wasn't moving. I couldn't even distinguish a breathing movement. Should it be breathing, actually?

"Is it alive?" The question was probably stupid but I was past embarrassing myself now...


	2. Chapter 2

_**Note:** I know that there is a LOT of informations about the alien in this chapter, and that the style of this story is quite compact and descriptive. I'm pushing it to know how far I can do this and still be coherent and not too boring. Concerning the informations given, it's necessary that you know all of this BEFORE the real events, because then things will be self explanatory, which will be a lot easier than if I had to insert explanations in the middle of events._  
_Next chapter will be a lot more eventful, now that everything necessary to the understanding is set up :) (and will probably be posted on Wednesday or Thursday, the story being complete before the end of the week I suppose, since I can't stop writing it ^^)_

* * *

"Looks like it."  
Gennaro deemed useful to give some precisions: "According to our human point of view about 'alive', it seems so. It breathes and has body functions, although we didn't have to clean alien poop until now." He chuckled.

I started to turn around the cubicle, slowly. It was fascinating. As scared as I was, curiousity was stronger than everything. Damn, it was so surreal, so crazy! I was looking at an alien, a real alien. I would even study it! Could it talk? Stand on its... feet, paws, whatever, if it had some? What did they feed it? Did it eat anyway? How had it arrived on Earth? Where did it come from? I had so many questions, and wanted the answers all at the same time and my mouth couldn't utter a word because my mind was flooded, and I didn't know where to begin!  
So I stared at it.

I could distinguish a body shape that looked quite human. Curled up, knees and head hidden under the rest, the jut of a spine faintly visible. Arms, like protecting its head. It seemed a lot more flexible than a regular human being though, because the way it was rolled up in a ball made it impossible for me to see anything more. I could see it had a bottom and I unconsciously averted my eyes. It was an alien, but I wasn't supposed to stare at its intimacy, or at least, it made me uncomfortable to do so. Did it have a sense of intimacy? If so, maybe it shouldn't be displayed like that for all of us to see?

It... I kept on referring to the alien as it, as everyone else here seemed to be as well. Was it ethical to call the alien a it?

I felt a bit concerned, all of a sudden, about the general ethics of what was being done here. Was the alien here on his free will? Had it fought before being locked behind the glass? I merely could make my own answers about that. It was locked, and it was secured glass, at least five inches thick, enough for a shark tank probably.  
… Was it dangerous?

I suppose that the face I made gave me away concerning the questioning bubbling in my brain.  
"Come on, I'll show you your desk and we can have an overview of our little friend's statistics so you can get started." Boss said, pushing me toward an empty place among the half circle of desks.

I peeled my eyes from the glass, part of me being happy to put some space between me and this thing, another one, to my surprise, a bit disappointed and eager to see more.

Gennaro took charge on order of the boss, who left shortly after, and sent me the whole bunch of files about the 'subject'.  
I could feel my heart jump in my chest. As soon as I started reading something, I skipped parts to get further faster, impatient to know more, then coming back to where I was to know the details I had missed and needed to know to understand the rest. I just couldn't focus, there was so much I wanted to know!

Everything had been evaluated according to human standards, so the accuracy wasn't a sure thing, not even with the big brains gathered here to do the work, but from what I could read, the alien had male attributes, and his (at least I could say 'he' now) body constitution was similar to an average man, at least on the outside. Some annotations stated that he was more on the lower average because he had been measured 5'7 tall and weighted 105lbs. Damn, I was on an even lower 'average' then, with my 5'6 and 104lbs...

It was pretty stupid to think about that amongst other things, but I really wondered about how average his 'male attributes' were. Really stupid. I smiled to myself, but it quickly vanished from my face once I was past vital statistics and began to browse through the informations about how it... he, had arrived here.

Believe me, I was, once the initial shock over, excited about what was happening to me, my carrier, amazed that alien do indeed exist, because it's like God or ghosts, you read about potential proves of their existence, you don't really believe, you believe, you don't really know where to stand, it's never that clear... and BAM, the proof is right under your own nose, and you can only admit it as a fact, and not a possibility anymore. You have to acknowledge the evidence and realise that as hard it is to believe, now it's there. And actually, you never really believed, you were a lot more sceptical than you thought, thus the shock.

But alien or not, I was very uneasy at the realisation that it... (damn), he was treated like a 'subject', and referred to as one in the various documents I was browsing through. He was indeed not human, and human rights therefore couldn't be applied, but still, we do treat animals badly and it's not right either, regardless of law, so that wasn't an excuse.

I dismissed these thoughts for a while to concentrate on the facts, I was there to do my job after all, and if I didn't, my third type experiment would be over before I could even raise the ethics question.

So, it had all begun in April of this year, by reports of Pasadena inhabitants. A colourful flying saucer had been spotted and recorded on video by a man that had loaded the footage on Youtube. After investigation, the official thesis was a hot air balloon passing by, and the story was quickly forgotten and all videos erased from Youtube magically.  
Authorities had smothered the fire as soon as it had started to prevent any speculations and keep the perimeter safe, and no one ever knew that an alien had parked his vehicle at the foot of San Gabriel mountains.  
No sign of crash, the spaceship was in perfect condition, feeding the suspicion that it had landed here on purpose and not crashed accidentally, and it had been dismantled and transported here. I felt goosebumps along my spine at the thought that an alien vehicle was kept not far away. Even in pieces, it was... wow.  
It wasn't my field but I had to see it one of these days, absolutely. I was quite disappointed to know that it had been dismantled though. If they had been able to do that, then it wasn't that special, alien ship or not, because it meant that we had the technology to put it in pieces. The files stated that it was made of titanium (thus the fact that they were unable to transport it entire, it was way too heavy) but studies had led to the discovery of another element part of the alloy, element that was unknown to man. Its properties made titanium a lot lighter, that's all they knew for now.

The alien was unconscious when they found him, still at the command board, alone. No sign of hurt, not even a bruise but the alien could as well be resistant to shock, who knew...  
The only obvious sign of distress was a laboured breathing, but the oxygen mask they had used on him in situ had helped, and so the alien had been transported in a place that wasn't even mentioned in the report, and kept there for two weeks. Even us, here, couldn't be put in the secret of the place's location.

After various studies, it became obvious that the alien was affected by our terrestrial air. He had lungs, although bigger than ours, and only a purer air seemed to let him breathe properly.  
After that came the interesting part.

The alien started to regain conscience, and since his abilities and strength were unknown, he had been transferred here. The place had always been prepared for such an event. Bigger cubicles, thicker glass were available in another part of the building, but the alien's stature was small enough to fit the one I was facing, and it was cheaper to ventilate the oxygen he seemed to need.

I would have thought that, since the government isn't that finicky with spending the taxpayer's money, they wouldn't care for expenses when it came to such a sensitive matter. But obviously, even for something as amazing as an alien discovery, they did.

The media have the whole population believing that no concrete signal from an alien population has ever been made clear, when it's actually the opposite. At least that's why I understood from all I had been reading in the past two hours. Lots of signals, and therefore lots of preparation to the eventuality of a visit from outer space...  
What bugged me, though, was that every pattern in said preparations always involved treating the 'matter' as a possible hostile contact. I was perfectly aware that it was something we had to be prepared to, but still, the more I read, the more it seemed to me that it was always meant to be treated like if humans had rights over extra terrestrials.

After a few days in the cubicle, the alien had showed signs of awakening.  
The motto seemed to be that nothing about his physical appearance should be noted so I was glad that I could see it with my own eyes, as few as I had seen until now. It just made me even more eager to check him out better.  
All I knew was that he looked perfectly human. So, was there a planet similar to Earth that we didn't know about? Maybe he'd tell us, someday?

I was about to let the rest to be read later since it was already late in the afternoon (ok, a state employee kind of late, as in 4pm) and only Gennaro was still present, and I wanted to look at the alien from closer again, but a part of the text retained my attention. So I read on.

Tests had been carried out on the alien, more specifically on the nature of the air he breathed, inside of the cubicle.  
The level of oxygen and the purity of the air had fluctuated and the various reactions of the alien put on the record.  
Apparently, he couldn't cope with our polluted air, and any rise in pollution in his pure air seemed to put him in respiratory distress. The level of pollution had then been increased from non-existent to small amounts, and the alien seemed to adjust slowly at each level, showing signs of activity when he was fully adjusted, being in a sleep-like state otherwise.  
The notes stated that a rise of 0.5% of a pollution similar to what we breathe everyday didn't put him in distress but that he couldn't take more, and that an average two weeks were needed for adjustment before he woke up.  
But they hadn't let him wake up fully, first because it was easier to study him this way, and also because the purpose of the test was to get him to adjust to our level of pollution so he could cope with breathing the same air as us.

Somehow, I was happy that I hadn't missed the awakening of the alien. This was something I wanted to see with my own eyes. Although no one could tell what he would do then. Maybe he'd kill us all...

I finished browsing through the files, leaving the less important facts for later. Curiousity for the being behind the glass was still stronger than any information folder.  
Gennaro smirked when I began turning around the cubicle, slowly, inspecting every inch of the alien.  
"Pretty disappointing, huh? It's just like any guy on the outside, no antennas, no green skin, no third eye..."  
"He's still an alien, so I don't think that 'disappointing' is accurate..." I replied, quite taken aback by the boredom in the Italian guy's voice. He sounded so fed up... would I be like that in a while? I doubted it, really. I mean, come on, alien, right here, on Earth!

"Is it the first?" Although I probably wasn't close to know the answer, everything was made confidential and Gennaro would probably never tell me. Hell, he probably didn't know himself.  
"Yep." he said briefly, before looking up at me from his screen, "As far as we know, that is."

I don't know what I was expecting, but the alien didn't move an inch, and I got tired of staring and hoping the smallest move.  
I went back to my desk and calculated the average time remaining before the air in the cubicle would reach the same pollution level as ours. I understood why I had been hired to reinforce the team now, after the workgroup had been created for quite some time now: the level had already been reached four days ago. I didn't know if I should be excited or run away at this realisation. The alien would probably wake up soon, and I would be in the fire line...


	3. Chapter 3

_**Note: **Search for _marble effect rubber ball_ in Google image, the first result will show you what I mean for the spaceship ;)_

I thought it would be useful to precise that I don't like sci-fi, that I've never read anything sci-fi, nor even seen Star Wars or Star trek for that matter. Really not my cup of tea. So I have no references, and if what I write has already been done and/or looks crappy, well... that's life :)

* * *

The following days were quite boring, mainly. I finished reading all the material Gennaro had provided me and was now, one week after my arrival at S.E.T.I., up to date with Mr Alien's statistics, test results and various facts.  
But today was different. The spaceship had been rebuilt totally, and we were invited to see it.  
Saying I was jumpy was an understatement.

Oh, the shock.  
It was indeed colourful. Not as big as I expected, but it made me immediately think of those rubber balls that bounce really high, that I loved to play with when I was a kid, the ones marbled with lots of colours like splashed with a wet pencil. Part of me couldn't help but think that it was weird, because I would have expected it to look like metal, dull and grey, maybe shiny...

On closer inspection, it was metal, like the report stated. There was nothing remarkable, and if the alloy hadn't been studied, it would probably be impossible to guess that it wasn't just titanium.  
The outside was smooth, and the inside was apparently planned for one or two persons to the most. There was the command board which was quite simple, a few buttons and stuff, little screens, low enough for us to guess that the alien had travel sat on the ground.  
"How does it work?" I asked to one of the men guiding the visit.  
"We have been unable to bring it to ignition. We haven't even found a single trace of fuel, or a fuel tank for that matter." he replied.  
Damn, if it could travel without fuel, that was something worth discovering, given that it was a technology we could use on Earth. That would solve a lot of problems...  
Was it why the alien only breathed pure air on his planet or wherever he came from? They had no fuel pollution?  
"Was there anything else inside? Like a suitcase or something?" I couldn't help but laugh, imagining alien underwear as colourful as the vehicle and the guys studying them.  
The man chuckled: "Unfortunately, our traveller didn't have a passport or any luggage, talk about irregular entry on the territory...", but he became serious again, pointing out at a corner that was so dark I hadn't spotted it at first.  
"We've set everything back in place for the visit but those are going back to the lab tonight."

I approached and crouched. It was just at the far end of the command room, against the metal wall.  
Books. Or at least, a pile of white pages bound in leather.  
It felt weird to touch something like that, something that belonged to an alien. But why were these pages empty?  
"Is it some special ink or something?" I flipped through another of the books.  
"Nothing we are aware of. Maybe he just planned on writing about his journey, who knows?" the guide replied.  
"What kind of leather is it?" Maybe they had animal species we didn't have here on Earth?  
"Synthetic skin. Something similar to the one that's been created last year at Stanford, you know, the stuff with captors they want to use on robots to give them touch."  
"I see..." I suddenly realised that the alien may know, in a way or another, that we touched his things, and I deposited the book back on the pile. I didn't really grasp the reason for using synthetic skin for the cover of a book, a blank one moreover, but there had to be a reason, and to my knowledge, synthetic skin with captors well, it could collect informations if touched...

I hadn't dwelt on the subject until now, but it dawned on me that he could probably teach us a lot... if he was able to talk to us one day. It became obvious to me that I should get informed about what they planned to do once he wakes up. I realised that I hadn't even been told. Well, at least I was a part of the project.

Once we were done with the visit, we went back to the office and more boredom ensued.  
It was insane that being in such an exciting experiment didn't bring any entertainment. Alien or not, staring at it was quickly beginning to get on my nerves since nothing happened.  
I wished that we had at least something to do while waiting for Sleeping Beauty to wake up, but we were now on an observation pattern until it would actually happen, relaying between day and night shifts.

But it happened. The captors in the cubicle indicated an increased cerebral activity from the alien and we were all called back to the office. It was 5am but I was more than happy that they had informed every employee that wasn't on the night shift that night so no one would miss the alien's awakening.

When I arrived, he still hadn't moved from his position, but I could see a faint breathing movement as his back seemed to rise and fall slightly.  
And suddenly, he began to unfold. Slowly.  
His hair was long and blond, but I still couldn't see his face, he had his head bowed, his palms flat on the ground, knelt.

We were all standing around the cubicle, and it looked a bit like being at the zoo, observing a rare animal. This one was the rarest of all kinds though...  
I kind of felt bad for him. Maybe he would be scared shitless when he would see us all staring? How to comfort him if that happened? Did he even speak, or understand our language?

He finally stood up. He surveyed us all, from right to left. I smiled at him, trying to make him understand that he didn't have anything to fear, we wouldn't harm him. Even if we had him locked up, which wasn't really making us look totally welcoming, I have to say.

His eyes spent a split second longer on me than on my co-workers, probably because I was smiling, and... wow. I could finally see his whole face now that he had moved past the reflection of light on the glass that blocked part of the sight, and those eyes... Blue, clear as water. Amazingly beautiful. All of his face was amazingly beautiful. I had never seen anyone with such a beauty that I had to stare so blatantly. It was impossible to look away. Okay, I was looking at my first alien and that was a reason good enough not to look away but still, he was gorgeous. Breathtaking.

He was also very human-looking, and my hormones were suddenly pretty pleased by the sight as well...

I wondered about the eventuality of eugenics where the alien came from, seeing him so blond, blue-eyed and handsome. Since he was naked, nothing was hidden to our eyes, and his body was perfectly toned and proportionate. Or maybe they could morph into whatever they wanted?

I was fascinated. Properly fascinated. I was trying to focus on his face, beauty apart, trying to see what his expressions were. He didn't look threatening but not smiling either (and nothing said aliens smiled when they were happy, or if they could smile at all), but pretty neutral to the least.  
He didn't look afraid, but he did look puzzled at his lack of clothes. Now that I thought of it, clothes hadn't been mentioned in what I had read so far in the various files, but the alien's reaction told me that he wasn't supposed to be naked. He was looking around him in the cubicle and slowly realising that he was trapped inside with no way to escape.

He didn't seem to be bothered too much by his nudity after all, and closed the distance between him and the glass, touching it with the tip of his fingers.  
My co-workers were making comments that I dismissed, concentrated on the alien, unable to look away and wishing they would all shut up. It went from bashing to properly nasty, and if he could hear (and understand), maybe it wasn't such a smart thing to do to speak ill of him that way. Maybe he'd blow our heads with a single blink, who knew what he was capable of?

"Where are his clothes?" I asked Gennaro. Maybe it was time to let the alien cover himself?  
"At the lab. Why?" the Italian man replied, apparently not catching my drift.  
"We could let him get dressed."  
Gennaro looked at me like if I was insane: "We don't even know if his clothes have special skills or something, we can't take any risk!".  
Oh... I hadn't thought about that.  
"What about human clothes, at least?" I insisted. This wasn't respectful and I felt I had to at least try to do something.  
"Feel free to make a donation Jeevas," Boss chuckled, joining the conversation, "After all you're the closest in size."  
I hear someone mutter 'shrimp' behind my back, and I didn't need to turn around to know it was Jon. Bastard.

I was supposed to be on day shift, and my shift was starting in forty minutes. I had slept until 5am, the night had been shortened of two hours, but I had had some sleep anyway, so it didn't bother me too much to take those remaining forty minutes to drive to my apartment way and back when Gennaro, who was on the day shift too, decided to take a nap at his desk until 7am. How could he even sleep, that was beyond my understanding.

I took a pair of jeans, a tee-shirt (I resisted the idea of taking a Star Trek tee, that was probably in the worst taste...) that I chose plain black, no message, no design, that was probably for the best. I gave a call to Gennaro: I hadn't read anything in the alien's stats about a shoe size or at least the length of his feet, which would help at that precise moment. Ah... 26cm. I think I had something that could do. Socks, and a pair of green Converses that belonged to an ex boyfriend were added, and I was gone.  
I wasn't sure if he was cold, we were in California after all (as if I had any idea of which temperatures he was used to...) and thought it would be fine with only that.

Once back at S.E.T.I., I asked Gennaro if anything had happened, eager not to miss anything (I'd probably stay here even if not on a shift, I would be unable to stay at home knowing that the alien was awake), but the alien had apparently just stayed where he was, hands on the glass, still. I was a bit surprised that he didn't hammer on the glass or show any sign of discontentement.

The question arose as to how to give him the clothes. We weren't allowed to open the cubicle. No risk would be taken, Boss said again (okay, okay, I already understood that... even if the alien didn't look hostile to my opinion.)  
I didn't have the time to ask why he had told me to bring clothes, if there was no intention of giving him. I had the answer in the next second and I regretted bringing the clothes a few more seconds later.

To make it short, the only way to open the cubicle safely was to neutralise the alien.  
The boss gave the order to increase the level of pollution of more than what the alien could cope with. I opposed but the boss, Jon and Gennaro just looked at me like an insignificant bug, and soon I saw the alien take support on the glass before falling on his knees, searching for air, coughing.  
I felt a lump in my throat. I never wanted that...

I was helplessly standing there, but when the alien was finally in a state that rendered him unable to make a move, the cubicle was opened, and I was allowed to deposit the clothes. I did it quickly, and it was closed again, and the level of pollution inside came back to normal.

I felt awful. No matter if the alien was going back to normal now, I was afraid that doing this to him damaged his lungs or something. What if he fell sick, and died because we didn't have what could cure him?  
It occurred to me that pollution was already a disease factor for us human, and that we had more than certainly already corrupted his health by exposing him to increased levels. It made me sad.

As soon as he was able to move again, he spotted the clothes. He seemed to hesitate, but picked the shirt up.  
He held the fabric between his fingers, and he looked quite concentrated. Suddenly he looked at me.  
Or better said, he _stared _ at me. Long.  
No need to say that I felt really uncomfortable, and probably became as red as a beet.

Of course Jon had to make a comment. "Oh look, Jeevas has hit it off with the alien!"  
Damn bastard. I gave him an angry look, and when I looked back at the alien, I realised that he had followed my eyes, and was now staring at Jon. For an instant, I would have bet that his expression wasn't that neutral anymore, but he looked back at me and it was all blank again.

He got dressed (I had wondered briefly, with him standing there with my shirt in his hands, if he knew how to use human clothes) and I realised that I hadn't brought any underwear. Thinking about him going commando in my jeans... hmm, I should probably forget that image...

Once dressed, he looked like a teenager. Probably just how I looked myself. How old was he? I don't know if they counted the same on his planet, he could be two hundred years old for all I knew.

We were just supposed to observe him and take notes, but with him standing there, there wasn't much to write about.  
That is, until he tried to draw our attention...


	4. Chapter 4

I stood up, looking at Gennaro and the boss (I mainly ignored Jon most of the time, he wasn't worth of interest), but they didn't move from their desks. They were attentive, but I was apparently the only one being that excited about an eventual interaction with the alien.  
I sat back, feeling a bit like a noob, and decided to observed as well.

The alien was standing face to us, right behind the glass, and seeing that no one moved except me, his attention focused on me.  
"Shut up, Jon." Gennaro said out of the blue.  
"I didn't even say anything!" Jon protested, raising his hands in defeat.  
"You know you would have." the Italian man replied. I was quite grateful because that's exactly what I thought would happen as soon as the alien started staring at me again.

It was hardly possible to sustain his gaze. I mean, those eyes... they didn't look hostile and yet they were frightening. Maybe it was the colour, so cold and clear...  
He briefly looked at my co-workers again, probably hoping that someone would finally acknowledge the fact that he wanted to communicate, but it was useless, and he just focused on me again.

"Don't do anything." Boss said, "We need to see how he reacts without interaction first."  
That was pretty stupid. We weren't observing the nuptial parade of some newly found bird species. But I wasn't supposed to go against orders so I just stayed at my desk, frustrated.

The alien closed his eyes, standing exactly where he was, facing the glass. There was still no expression on his face and I wondered if he was thinking or sleeping, a bit like horses do...  
But suddenly he opened his eyes and the lower side of his fist connected with the glass. He wasn't looking at me, or at anything in particular, but he did look angry. No. Frustrated.

I guess that he was trying to do something, whatever it was, and failed, because he tried again, with his hands now flat on the transparent surface, and took a step back as he opened his eyes again, this time glaring at the glass, then looking all around the cubicle, particularly at the embeddings.

I was fascinated by his expressions, but at the same time, I was starting to be afraid. Would he blow up the glass or something? I tried to reason myself: he would have done it already if he could.

All of a sudden he turned to us, he didn't look exactly angry, but not pleased either. He seemed to be waiting.  
It was obvious that he wanted us to free him. I was ashamed.  
Ashamed that all he knew of humans was that they were keeping him trapped like an animal, regardless of any sense of respect.

And, what if he was hungry? Cold? Wanted to clean himself, I don't know... Of course I judged things according to my human standards, but we couldn't possibly keep him here forever...  
But I was too afraid to offer to do anything like bring food or a blanket or anything that required the cubicle to open. I didn't want him to suffer again like when I had given him clothes.

The boss, who was at the far end of the half circle made by the line of desks, stood up to go to the bathroom, and the alien suddenly put his palms flat against the glass again, closing his eyes, concentrated. Something in his face twitched as the man went past the cubicle to exit the office but his hands fell along his sides once the boss was out of the room.

He seemed to think for a while but shook his head, and resumed staring at us, right behind the glass wall.  
But something had happened, I was almost sure of it.  
And I was fully convinced when the boss reappeared a few minutes later and that the alien did the exact same thing. Except that the boss' cell phone rang and as he stood in the middle of the room, taking the call, the alien winced, taking his hands off the glass. Waves. Waves disturbed him.  
It was lucky we were all on the ethernet connection and not using wifi here...

But even if I didn't know what the alien was trying to do, and if it could be harmful to me, I couldn't just sit there and do nothing. The more we waited, the more we could aggravate things. Without knowing what the alien was capable of, it was not very smart to risk making him really angry, to my opinion. Or maybe I had seen too many sci-fi movies.

I didn't have the time to think about what I could do. The alien started to look around him again, and it was clear that he was gauging the joints of the cubicle, scrutinizing the metal ceiling, the borders of the floor, the air vent...  
And he jumped.  
In no time, I was in front of the cubicle. I hadn't even realised that I had run, jumping over my desk, until the boss yelled at me to leave him alone. But I couldn't. He had jumped a lot higher than humans could but has missed the ceiling joint anyway, and had fallen back on the floor, hitting his head against the glass violently.  
He stood up, fortunately unharmed (what the hell was his skull made of to take such a backside blow and not knock himself out?) but he immediately approached me.

No matter what the boss said, I couldn't leave. Then everyone became silent. The procedure may be to observe, but at that precise moment they were all in the same state as me, eager to see what would happen... and letting it happen.

The alien laid his palms flat on the glass, just like he had done earlier, and closed his eyes. I didn't dare to move, stuck where I was, but keeping my own eyes wide open not to miss a single bat of his eyelashes. I think I didn't even blink once in the following minutes.  
From so close, I could see the concentration on his traits, his even breathing. And the light twitch of his eyes squinting, although closed, that told me he was getting what he wanted, whatever it was.

I don't know what he was doing, but I hoped that it would last as long as possible, because now I could stare at him freely, from very close, and without his intimidating stare.  
He was so beautiful, so incredibly beautiful... His traits were thin, very well defined, but by no means girly, as delicate as they were. His jaw was slightly angular, his nose sharp, his lips peach coloured, the lower one plump, high cheekbones, and his skin was smooth and pale with a light blond duvet.  
Even his fingers were beautiful. Long, thin...

I came back from my reverie when I saw them move along the glass surface, and realised that he had opened his eyes. Of course, he was staring at me... I should have expected this at a moment or another, and blushed deeply.  
But the way he was looking at me... I was unable to define such an expression in his eyes, and aliens expressions may not mean the same as ours anyway. I would have said something along the lines of 'intrigued' and 'soft', 'hopeful' even. But that was probably just an impression.

I didn't hear Jon arrive behind me. I only noticed the alien concentrating again and felt Jon's presence in my back all of a sudden. I stepped aside by reflex.  
It didn't last long, the alien left the glass and scowled. I could have sworn that he huffed, looking at Jon.  
"Oh, Jeevas has privileges that we don't have it seems." He mocked me, knocking on the glass in a provocative way, "Hey, if you came on Earth to save your race and have babies with humans, Jeevas is not the best choice, you know?"  
Everyone laughed. Fucktards...

The alien ignored him and focused on me again. He looked at me, then took the hem of the shirt he was wearing between his fingers, then looked at me again.  
Holy fucking shit.  
This was nothing, really, and yet, it was like a thousand words. He was telling me something. Maybe he was asking me if it was mine, or thanking me for giving it to him, I didn't know but I didn't care. I was communicating with him, and my whole body reacted to that. My stomach was tightening, my heart beating like a drum, my breath was shortening and my palms started sweating.  
Seriously, I could have fainted of joy.

I could hear Gennaro typing in my back. I knew that he was reporting everything that was happening right now, but I didn't give a fuck about the fact that it was merely an experiment to him and the rest of the team present at that moment. I was fucking communicating with an alien!

I was hooked on his eyes. I followed them as they travelled down to his right hand. He had stirred something from the pocket of my, well, now his, jeans. In his palm, a locket.  
Dear God. It was my mother's locket. My dead mother's locket. I had searched for it _everywhere.  
_I was sure that I had lost it when I had moved to Pasadena, and was mortified about it. Then I had stopped thinking about it, it was lost and it was useless to cry over it, even if it broke my heart.

Then I remembered. This was the jeans I wore when I picked up her stuff at the hospital, after she died, eight months ago. It had survived the laundry several times apparently, and I had totally forgotten that it was there. In my memory, I had put it in a box on my desk in what was my home at that time, and so I had never understood how I could have lost it.  
I wasn't in my right mind during that painful period of my life, and the suffering probably tricked my souvenirs. How many times had I searched for my car on a parking, remembering that I came by bus afterwards?

As soon as the alien took it in his hand, he seemed very interested in it. I thought that he would open it, but he just closed his fingers on it, and did this thing again, I mean, closing his eyes and getting all concentrated.  
But this time he opened them two or three seconds later, looking alarmed and agitated. He quickly deposited the locket on the floor, just at my feet, and looked at me with what was definitely a puzzled stare.  
He looked at the jewel again, then back at me.

I couldn't pick up my heritage, there was still glass between us, but it was obvious that he wanted to give it back to me. He came closer to the glass, at least as close as he could, and his hand was on the surface again.  
He didn't close his eyes this time. He was searching for mines. I did my best to sustain his look, as hard as it was.  
And then I understood. At least, I think I understood.

I needed to make a test, to make sure that I guessed correctly. But it was unnerving to act in front of everyone. I was here to do my job, but I was long gone in another dimension, no pun intended. This was my personal experiment, my private encounter. I didn't care for the procedure, I only cared for that being facing me, and everything he was, knew, everything I wanted to ask him.

I went back to my desk, smiling to the alien before I turned around. He looked disappointed and stood in front of the glass for a while before sitting on the ground.

It was just a matter of time, but I'd execute my test somehow, when I'd be alone here. It would happen later, I knew my co-workers' habits and the fact that Gennaro would leave in an hour to pick up his girlfriend at work because she was a princess that didn't drive and didn't want to take the bus, and that the boss and Jon would eat at the cafeteria half an hour after Gennaro was gone, leaving me alone for one hour before coming back here at the same time as Gennaro so him and me could take our turn at the cafeteria.


	5. Chapter 5

_**Note:** As usual I underestimated the length of a fic. I guess that it means more updates for this one XD_  
_Oh, and the rating will go up, just so you know. We're still under T for now, but it will be M soon._

* * *

I was nervous. Gennaro had just left and I still had half an hour to wait for the two others to leave.  
The more time passed, the less I was sure that I'd set my plan into action. What if it went wrong? At best I'd lose my job, at worst I'd get hurt, or killed even. Or set an alien, whom we didn't know the reactions and capacities of, free, if I really messed up. No, the glass would not break. No, I couldn't accidentally open the cubicle. And no, I wasn't stupid enough to be carried away and open it on purpose. I hoped so, at least... knowing me, I really _could_get carried away. It was in my nature.

And oh God, they finally left. Ten minutes earlier than they usually did, due to the fact that there were French fries on the menu today. Thank you, French fries.

I waited five minutes for good measure (and to make sure that they weren't coming back, I was starting to get paranoid), then left my desk and reached the cubicle.  
The alien was on his feet as soon as he saw me approaching. He came as close to the glass as possible, which was what I expected. I expected a lot more and would probably have a hard time explaining to him what I wanted so it was good already.

I put my palm on the glass. I was pretty sure that he could get informations by touching things, or being close to them. Because of the books with the synthetic skin cover, because of the way he concentrated when people came closer, the way he touched the glass when he concentrated, his reaction to my locket...  
I wanted to know if he could feel my hand through the glass. If it was true, then maybe he'd know who I was, because I didn't have a way to introduce myself to him. Somehow, I wanted him to know that he wasn't alone, that no matter how stupid my co-workers were, I'd do my best to help him... that he could trust me.

In the end, I didn't have to try to make him understand, he quickly put his palm on the other side of the glass, right where mine was.  
Holy shit... it became so warm all of a sudden, my hand I mean. He was concentrated, but his eyes were open and looking straight into mines.

I had thoughts looping in my mind, and had a hard time focusing, first because it made me dizzy to stare back at him the way I did, and second because there was too much I wanted to know about him.  
"Hel...lo."  
I felt my heart make a triple lutz in my chest. He spoke. He fucking spoke!  
"Hello..." I murmured, totally on a cloud.  
"Jeevas..." his voice was a bit hesitant. Oh, that's right, he had heard my name already, when the rest of the team had addressed to me. But he spoke English?  
"M...Matt Jeevas. But you can call me Matt." Did he understand me?

He seemed to think and concentrate for a few seconds.  
"Jeevas... Matt. Matt."  
Hearing him say my name, my first name I mean, it was making things so intimate all of a sudden, at least in my mind. I was high, just with that simple thing.  
I pointed at him, and he looked at the shirt he was wearing questioningly, then back at me. Then it clicked, and he pointed at himself: "Mello."  
I was unable to reply. It was just... wow. WOW. I knew the alien's name!  
He closed his eyes, his palm never leaving the glass, and somehow I had the impression he pressed harder. Unconsciously I did the same. He concentrated hard.  
Reopening his eyes, he articulated slowly: "My... name is Mello."

I could feel my legs give in slightly and braced myself.  
"Hello, Mello." I smiled brightly to him. It was awesome. Fucking awesome. I had wanted to communicate, and a few minutes earlier, I thought that I could make him understand a few things with gestures, and now, we were talking in proper English!  
Okay, we had only exchanged a few words, but he seemed to know the language, at least.

He concentrated once more. I was afraid to interrupt so I stood still, pressing my hand as hard as possible on the transparent surface. He took long minutes like this, unmoving. In the meanwhile, my eyes fell on the locket, still on the ground at his feet. I immediately felt the glass get cold under my palm and looked up at him. His arms had fallen along his sides, and he was crying, while staring at me with a look of shock.

I was alarmed. Fuck, I didn't know what to do, I didn't even know why he was crying. But it broke my heart to see him like this. He was looking at me with eyes so sad, so full of pain... I felt my own eyes sting.  
He picked up the locket.  
Oh God. I understood.  
I put my palm back on the glass, and he did the same. I gave myself the mental image of him opening the locket. And it fucking worked.  
Mello's hand left the glass, and he opened the locket. Inside was a picture of my parents. His finger caressed the frame, then he looked at me, and I could read in his gaze that he felt sorry for me.

He knew. At the moment that my eyes fell on the locket, he was reading me, and the mental images that the sight of the jewel gave me, he saw them too. He knew about my mother, my pain, and maybe he could even feel it. That was amazing. He could enter my mind just by our closeness.  
"Mother..." he said softly.  
"Yes, my mother is dead."  
"Dead... Father?"  
"My father is dead too." I replied.  
He closed the locket, and gestured as to give it back to me.  
"I'm sorry, I can't open the cubicle."  
He simply nodded and put it back on the floor.

"Do you speak English?" I asked him.  
Mello seemed to think. "Learning."  
His right hand found its place on the glass wall again, so did mine of course. But he didn't concentrate, he was trying to say something. With his left hand, he showed his right one, then mine, then his forehead, then mine, and repeated: "Learning."

Now that was bigger than everything I could have expected. He wasn't only reading my thoughts or memories, but all the knowledge contained in my brain. I didn't need to think about the English language, he could pick it up himself and _learn_.  
Mmh, I suddenly hoped that he couldn't read everything. I mean, there were some embarrassing thoughts in my mind...

"Matt."  
I smiled. His voice was soft, and just as beautiful as the rest of him.  
"My parents. Dead." he whispered.  
"Oh... I'm sorry." It was sincere. He was even more alone than I was, without parents, and on another planet than his.  
"Where do you come from?" I gave it a try.

He seemed to think about the best way to tell me. If only I could read his mind just like he could read mine, that would make things a lot easier.  
"Not here." he replied, his eyes narrowing in reflection. He showed me his fingers: "Here, three. Me, four."  
I didn't understand right away and looked at him with a dorky look, which made him try something else.  
"You, here, planet three. With sun. Me, planet four."  
"You mean you're coming from Mars?" I couldn't believe it, it was wrong on so many levels. But Mello confirmed that it was indeed wrong.  
"No. Mars no. Before." He gestured for me to approach closer.

Our palms joined on each side of the glass, and he searched for the right words in my own mind. When he had found what he wanted, his face got less tensed and he exclaimed: "You don't know my planet!"  
It was fascinating to see how fast he was learning our language, just by visiting my brain.  
"Sun, Mercury, Venus, Earth, my planet, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune, Pluto." He stared at me expectantly.  
"We have never discovered your planet... that's incredible!" This was just crazy. His planet was closer to Earth than Mars, and it was still unknown.  
"We... hide."  
Well, then that made sense, no matter how they did that. Which I would have to ask.  
"Emaghi. This is my planet, Emaghi."

Mello became suddenly agitated and looked at the door of the office. I ran to my desk, and when Gennaro entered, I was an exemplary employee typing on his computer, deeply concentrated.

"What's up?" he asked me, glancing at the cubicle where the alien... Mello was sat, looking down.  
"Nothing new, he didn't move at all." I lied, hiding the smirk threatening to spread on my lips.

"Well, he's going to, very soon." the Italian man said while sitting at his own desk.  
I looked at my co-worker. What did he mean?  
"Oh right, I haven't sent you the next procedure. Will do right now."

A few seconds later, I was reading the file he had sent me by email, and started to feel really sick. There was no way I could stop the process of the experiment. But knowing what Mello would have to go through was killing me.  
"Now's your turn to impress, man, that's your part!" Gennaro laughed.  
I wasn't particularly enthralled with being the one that would have to study the results of the various tests the team was about to do on Mello and the samplings they would collect from him. And that meant, if we didn't kill him with those levels of pollution needed to neutralise him.

Maybe I could tell them what happened? Get Mello to cooperate so we could skip the lung poisoning part? No, they wouldn't take the risk to give him room to do something anyway, so that was useless to give my secret away.

Damn. As the rest of my shift went by, I realised that I hadn't even asked him if he needed anything. Not that I could give him, but... well. He looked so human, even his body structure was almost similar. I couldn't help but wonder how he could have gone on until now without eating anything. It's been months that he was in there...

I had to go home now. I didn't want to. I didn't want to leave him alone. I didn't want to miss a thing.  
But staying would have looked over zealous, so I left, reluctantly, but not without a last look at Mello. He looked back at me discreetly. He understood the fact that we had to keep it down, at least.

I was like a lion in cage at home. But I couldn't show up at work early. No matter how much I wanted to be there, anything abnormal in my behaviour could mean the end of my special relationship with the alien.  
Mello... I needed to know more...  
I had a name, the planet where he came from, but I didn't know why he was here. I had to focus on what I wanted to ask him, because one hour every afternoon was short, and I had to make the best out of it to get answers as well as to help him, even if as little as it was. And those damn tests were coming. They were planned for Thursday, which meant only today for our little aside before things changed.


	6. Chapter 6

_**Note:** I knoooow, late, late, late... But I'm back on track :)_  
_To make up for the lack of updates, you get a lot of informations about Mello here ;)  
It was a bit confusing to write since I had to give that many informations all in one chapter, but I couldn't delay, those informations are required to get the fic from now on._

* * *

As I arrived at work, all the persons already on shift started to leave.  
"Ah Jeevas! Good, you're not late!" Gennaro greeted me, "Luke from the archives department is celebrating the birth of his son, his wife gave birth yesterday evening, we were waiting for you to arrive to keep an eye on the alien. Well, I mean, we need someone to stay here and since we all know Luke and you don't, I hope you don't mind..."  
"That's fine, no problem!" I cut him, too happy with the occasion to be alone with Mello, "I really need to take a look at the files Gennaro sent me yesterday anyway."  
"Great!" the boss said.  
"See ya later!" Gennaro waved before closing the door behind him.

I approached the cubicle and realised that Mello was sleeping. I hadn't seen him sleep since he had come out of his sorta unconscious state, and for a few seconds I was a bit worried, not knowing if that was normal or not. He didn't eat, so he could as well not sleep, right?  
He was laid on his back, his head fallen on the opposite side. I could see his neck, ear, and the line of his cheekbone.

I stared at the pale skin and my hormones went wild. Was it bad that I suddenly wanted to lick the skin of an alien? But he looked so human... and he was just impossibly good-looking...  
I had probably been going too long without sex, and shook the thought away. That was wrong on so many levels...

His chest was rising and falling, which reassured me somehow, but soon his eyes fluttered open, and he rolled on his side before sitting, facing me.  
I saw his expression go from acknowledging where he was to sadness. My heart wrung, but then his eyes fell on me, and he gave me a small smile. Small, but... damn. I wanted to burn the image in my retinas forever.  
Mello's beauty was one thing, but add a smile to it and nothing mattered anymore. I stared, probably looking as dumb as possible because I wanted to smile back but I was unable to, my heart's rate was increasing dramatically, my legs were wobbly and I could feel my face redden and my palms start to sweat.  
Forget the licking part, I was now merely feeling like a teenager facing his first crush. It was terrible.  
Mello was an alien, I was an adult, he was trapped there and I was supposed to study him. Talk about forbidden love, heh?

He crawled on hands and knees to come closer and sat back, just behind the glass wall. I came closer as well. Ok, I had to calm down, quick. I had a hundred questions that needed an answer so it wasn't the time to wet myself like a schoolgirl.  
"Hello, Matt."  
My heart tried to escape. I kept on breathing an air that wouldn't fill my lungs, and my cheeks were so damn hot!  
"Hi..." was all I could reply. It came out weak and I felt so ashamed for the state I was in...  
"Are you... sick?" Mello asked, cocking his head while looking at me questioningly.  
"N...no... I'm fine." I took a hold of myself. I was being stupid, the situation was as far of romantic as could be and I shouldn't be reacting like that. I needed to get laid real soon, and then I'd be fine.

Mello put his palm on the glass and mine joined his, just like we had done before. But that was the worst idea I could have had right at that moment. No matter how much I wanted to will the thoughts away, they were here, and I quickly tore my hand from the glass. What would Mello think if he saw the dirty thoughts I had about him? Ok, not all were dirty, I also wanted to simply hold him in my arms or kiss him tenderly, but that was out of the question that I let him acknowledge the fact that I was fantasizing about him.  
Which made me wonder how they reproduced themselves on his planet. Did they have sex like humans? Did he even know what sex was? (YES I'd gladly show him, ok, subject closed.)  
I suddenly became self conscious, I mean, look at him... His planet was probably swarming with people as beautiful as him, and I was insignificantly plain to him. And maybe, even, homosexuality didn't exist on Emaghi.  
I was really stupid to get so worked up.

Mello's eyes narrowed. He didn't understand what was going on with me and he looked angry. Of course I didn't like to see anyone angry, especially not him for some reason, but... he was spreading a dangerous aura that I couldn't determine right now, and it was giving me mixed emotions, making it hard for me to cope with even more than it had been until now. He was all at once frightening and attractive and none between my hormones and my fear managed to take over, messing up with my mind.  
"I promise, I'm fine, all is fine Mello." I smiled to him, and he immediately relaxed and smiled back. Breathe Matt, breathe...

"Mello, why did you come on Earth?" I needed to start firing the questions, I didn't know how long it would be before the others came back.  
That was probably a difficult one. Mello was searching for the words, concentrating, eyes closed.  
"Me... I... I want to know..." He placed his palms on the glass, he needed me to be able to speak. I immediately replied to his silent request, forgetting about dirty thoughts and fantasies. The warmth between our hands told me he was already fiding his way into my brain, and I took advantage of his immobility to scrutinize his face. At least I could get my content of beauty while he was busy. But it was over too soon to my likings.

"On Emaghi, we... breed... no... mate... mate by numbers. The first born of year mates with the second born, the third with the fourth... when we reach... twenty-five. My year, twenty-one born. I am number twenty-one. I am last to reach twenty-five and there is no one for me."  
I think I was seeing where this was going but what had happened to all the other aliens that didn't have a mate because they were an odd number from the end of the year?  
"What did the other do the previous years when they didn't have a mate?" I asked him, trying to make my question as simple as possible.  
"Never happen before... I was... too soon."  
"You mean you should have been born the year after?" I was really confused now. There seemed to be rules on Emaghi that went beyond everything I could imagine. Was that evolution of higher species?

Mello searched once more in me for the right words.  
"We observe other planets. My... work is Earth. I observe Earth. I see how you mate. Random. I don't understand. After, I think I understand. No numbers, you choose. Mother did not choose but father is dead and I am born too soon because... sorrow... She... loved him. First time mate with love."  
I felt my chest constrict. Mello's speech was a bit messed up but I got the main idea. His father died when his mother was pregnant and she gave birth sooner than due because of the pain of the loss. And it was the first time that mates were in love. This part was just... wow. No one knew what love was on Mello's planet? What kind of world was it? Apart from a world with zero problem pregnancies until Mello...

Mello went on: "Mates live together for children birth, but no love. Just mate and raise children, the rest they work."  
They have sex and raise their children, and spend the rest of their time at work? Well, now that wasn't so far from what can be seen on Earth... but it was so sad to imagine a world without love...  
"I see love. I want." Mello's eyes became so hopeful all of a sudden...  
"You came to find love?"  
"Yes... I want love from mate... and love my mate. Like mother." To be loved and love back, as simple as that.  
That was a beautiful story, and probably the start of a mess on his planet. I mean, everything was ruled and if love came in the mix, then rules would just fly into pieces and chaos would ensue. Or would he never go back to Emaghi?

A question popped in my mind suddenly.  
"How do you do to have births of each gender? I mean, if you have to mate the one born just after you, if you're a boy then how do you do for the next to be a girl inevitably?"  
Mello squinted his eyes, that was a hard one to get.  
"Gender is... set when the baby is made."

I wasn't surprised, after all science could do that on Earth too, even if it wasn't ethical thus not allowed yet. But then again, Mello's planet was strictly ruled concerning procreation, and I wondered about people's will and wishes, did they have none, or was it all suppressed like in Equilibrium? Damn, I wouldn't want to live in such a place...  
Somehow, I was also disappointed that they hadn't evolved to the point where men could get pregnant too, _that_would have been awesome. I suppose.

"But if you were supposed to be born the next year, what will happen to the girl that should have been born second and therefore mated to you?" I hated that word, _mated_... it sounded so animalistic. "If everything was set in advance, you could have mated her anyway?"  
"No, not like that. Not same year, too much trouble. When I am born they decide that a woman will have a boy, still enough time, so he is born at the end of the year and number is not odd." Mello shook his head.  
That was even stricter than I thought...  
"Does it make you sad? That you have no one?"  
"No. Not sad. I work. But then I see love, and I want, and I am sad after that because I am not on Earth. So I leave Emaghi when there is no one, no mother. I stay because mother, but she is dead so I leave because humans look different... with love, they are different. I want to be different."

"How long did you travel? Is that long between Emaghi and Earth?"  
Mello took some time to think.  
"Two weeks, your time."  
I suppose that they count differently on Emaghi if Mello precised 'your time'. Two weeks was short, his spaceship must be so fast! I wish he could take me for a flight someday... but that was unlikely, and it reminded me how inextricable the situation was.  
"How do you observe Earth from Emaghi?"  
"Telescope. Big, powerful. More than here."  
"Well, obviously..." I chuckled. We were so much behind Mello's planet, tehcnology-wise, but at the same time... relationships looked straight out of Middle Age. There's no perfect world I guess... "So you see, but you don't hear?"  
"Yes." Mello simply replied. That made sense then, since he couldn't speak a human language before.  
It occurred to me that I was now doing the job Mello had done. He observed me (in a generic way) and now I was observing him...

"Your mother and mine died around the same time..." I whispered.  
Mello's eyes filled with that same sorry expression that he had had when he had found my locket.  
Alien or not, we weren't so different after all.  
I covered my mouth with my hand, feeling tears threatening to fall. It was just bringing back so many memories, we had both lost our mothers at the same time, and if I had felt lost, then what about Mello? He was coming from a place where there was no love, where people got assigned together since the day they were born, and there was no one for him. Even the rules would never bring him someone. Well, maybe love wasn't allowed or something, but I was sure that his mother loved him, she wouldn't have told him to find someone otherwise, and she had loved his father. Maybe it was a premiere, but once you see what love is, of course you want it! Some people travel thousand miles across the globe, some people convert to a new religion, some go against their families' wishes, but Mello had travelled lightyears and risked more than anyone would ever do, for something foreign to him. Just because love is that powerful that you have to have it once you grab the essence of it.

He became agitated and I knew that it meant that the others were coming back.  
"Do you need anything, Mello? Food, clothes?" I asked quickly, this time I wouldn't forget.  
He shook his head but then stared at me, thinking. "You." he said.

I heard steps behind the door and sprinted to my desk, cursing that I didn't have the time to pursue the conversation. Especially with what Mello just said. I reasoned myself, telling myself that he simply meant that he needed me because I was the only one that seemed to care about his situation, but still... it was weird to hear him say that.

Hours passed and all I could think about was the moment when the others would be gone again.  
I was trying to concentrate on the files that Gennaro had sent me by email. I needed to memorise the procedure of the upcoming tests, but the more I read, the more my worries parasited my work. I couldn't help but glance at Mello from time to time, which fortunately stayed unnoticed, or at least looked perfectly normal.

Mello stayed calm, sat criss-crossed on the floor in the position I had left him, head down, staring at his hands in his lap. But each time my gaze stopped on him, I could see his chin raise up slightly and his eyes glance at me through his bangs. I was not even close to the glass, and he could feel me looking at him, that was for sure.  
I just hoped at that moment that he couldn't read my mind. I didn't want him to know what I knew, what would be done to him. It would scare him, and even if I couldn't go against said tests (which didn't mean I wasn't trying to think of a solution), if I could prevent the awfulness of the expectation of something terrible to come, that was at least something.

The moment when I was alone (at last!) with Mello, I ran to the cubicle just as fast as he jumped on his feet, my palms automatically sitting on the glass wall.  
I shouldn't have.  
It took two seconds for Mello's face to go from relieved that we were finally alone to panic. Whatever mental image I had about the tests was now shared, and I suddenly wanted to hug him.  
But this, he knew too... something in the way his shoulders relaxed slightly, and the way he looked at me told me so.  
His look was, for a split second, questioning, though. Why, I didn't know, but I didn't have time to ask.

Mello's hands left the glass and he began to look around him, searching for an exit. The search became frantic, and he suddenly reminded me of a trapped animal. I couldn't take it, it was breaking my heart. Why on Earth would we have the right to keep him there, to hurt him, to treat him like a mere subject of studies?

"Mello." I called him, but he ignored me. "Mello, please..."  
Please what? What would I do anyway? Open the cubicle and let him run away? How would he survive out there? And it wasn't like he could go unnoticed, he was such a beauty, saying he was out of this world wasn't just a fact but the exact expression that fit him: he looked stunning. So, there was no way he drowned in the crowd.  
Run away with him so I could help him cope with a life on the run? Same thing, we'd be caught even before we got out of the city. And I'd be put in jail and who knows what they'd do to him then.  
I was mad at myself.

Mad because I couldn't help him. Because he was amazing and they would ruin him. And because I wanted a chance to know him better. Yes, that was egoistical, which made me even more angry, at myself this time.

I started when he suddenly came back in front of me, his palms flat on the glass, his forehead resting against it too. I wasn't even touching the glass myself, and I could feel his warmth. It was radiating just as hard as he was concentrating. And all of a sudden, I felt something...


	7. Chapter 7

_**Note:** I did it! I promised to update today and it's 11:49pm so it's still today :D (I got distracted from my promise by someone dragging me to see the new James Bond which had the merit to have Komodo dragons in it. I loooove Komodo dragons XD)._  
_Ok, so, short chapter, but it was intense and it would have been wrong to continue after that last sentence. The rest really seemed to belong to the next chapter so here we go_.

* * *

I didn't immediately get what was going on.  
Mello was concentrated, looking scared, eyes tightly shut. He was as deep in focus as he seemed to be in panic. It occurred to me that maybe his abilities increased when under pressure, but I didn't have time to dwell on it, because my heart started to beat louder, to the point that I suddenly thought I was having a heart attack or something that would require to call the ER. No, I'm not overreacting. It was really that loud and abnormal. The thuds were resounding in my ears, in my throat, in my ribcage, in my whole body down to my feet. Quite like when you stand too close from a bass amp. I was starting to have difficulties to breathe and I could feel cold sweat rolling down my back, thinking I would die now and here.

And then it stopped. Mello had his eyes still shut but his expression was one of disappointment and he angrily hit the glass with his fist out of rage. He shook his head, his lids fluttered a bit before he looked at me.  
The look we exchanged, I don't know... Call me naïve, hopeless romantic, whatever you like, but I know what I saw, what passed from his eyes to mine. I wasn't imagining things, it was probably the most real thing I've ever known, actually. It was strong and demanding, full of fear and yet so hopeful...

I came as close to the window-pane as I could, my chest, my forehead, my palms were against it, and Mello's chest, forehead and palms would have been against mines if it wasn't for that damn glass separating us. I know he was asking for help, and even if I would have been the first to free him if I had any way to do it, even if I was the less guilty among all the employees here, I had to answer his request, I wanted to make up for what was done to him, and what would be. I had no idea what Mello had in mind right now, it could even kill me, who knew... but my naïvety was only telling me tales about bad versus good and everything looked black in Mello's future right now, and I wanted it to be pure white. So I just did what seemed right to me regardless of my own security.

Our eyes were locked and it made me dizzy, just like every time I made eye contact with him so intensely. He gave me a small smile. If I could feel his panic, he could feel my own insecurities toward what was happening. But his smile didn't make it better, it just made me even more desperate to preserve the beautiful being in front of me. He ticked. For a split second his gaze became questioning and he stopped cold. It was the second time it happened and I really wondered what went through his mind at that precise moment.

The instant after, he was in deep concentration once again, his eyes wide open this time, diving into mines. And my heart began to thump like crazy again. Until I realised that Mello was controlling it. It scared me shitless. For a moment I contemplated the idea of tearing myself from the glass, but I couldn't. Oh, I tried, I wasn't just being brave or anything, believe me... I was on the verge of tears when I realised that Mello was keeping me there. It was magnetic, my heart was beating at a normal rate, but oh so loud, it was like if some force was amplifying it, and I couldn't move. There was a force holding me in place, glued to the glass. I wanted to speak, to ask Mello what he was doing, but I couldn't even manage this.

But his eyes became so soft, all fears I had suddenly vanished. This was probably completely stupid, but I just began to trust him. There was no malice in his eyes, I could see, _feel_, that he was scared for everything that was waiting for him the next day, and I could understand that he was desperate to avoid it, to get away. How could I deny him any trial to escape, if that was what he was trying to do at all?

Suddenly, the sound of my heart doubled. It was the same rate, but lagged of a split second, like an echo. The glass started vibrating. I could feel it under my palms and against every part of my body that was touching the glass.  
The louder it resonated in me, the more the glass wall trembled.  
Mello's breathing was deeper, faster, I could see that he was all at once focusing on what he was doing, trying really hard at whatever it was, and in the meanwhile keeping his gaze focused on mine in a way that looked like he was comforting me, telling me not to be scared of what he was doing.

And I understood. The second beating was Mello's heart. I was amazed at what he could do, even if I didn't know how he did it. He was creating a sound wave, and now I was getting where he was going. I pressed harder, trying to concentrate too, although I was probably of no help, but I wanted him to make it.  
The glass was pulsating, more and more. I was mentally preparing myself for it to blow out in pieces anytime, and I was slightly worried to get shards all over my body, but the thought was erased abruptly.

A siren began wailing, and a few words escaped Mello's mouth as he tried harder, the glass throbbing dangerously. Mello's native language... Of course he had a mother tongue, but hearing it moved me. I was looking at him in awe as he was still mentally hammering the window-pane, I was starting to ache all other my body but I didn't care, I was too far gone, drowning in mixed feelings, but he stopped suddenly, taking a step back, looking at the door.  
It was my cue to get back to my desk, but I didn't have time to make it.  
Five security guards entered, almost tearing the door off its hinges, followed a few seconds later by Gennaro, Jon, the boss and another guy.

I was still standing in front of the cubicle but that's what actually saved my ass, and I'm pretty sure that Mello didn't leave me enough time to go back to my desk because he knew it.  
It would have looked utterly weird if I had been sat at my desk innocently when the siren indicated that the integrity of the safe glass was endangered.

"Jeevas! Step Back!" the boss yelled at me. At that moment I didn't know if I was accused of anything, or if I was asked to put some distance between me and Mello for my own security. I stepped back as asked, feeling my legs ready to give up under my weight. I braced myself but I was close to fainting. I pretended having been scared, they already took me for a pussy so they believed me without a doubt. I didn't even care for my pride at that point.

I had to run to the bathroom, reaching the toilets just in time to throw up. I was feeling sick, tired, totally drained. My left arm ached. We all know what it means. But no matter if Mello had pushed my heart too far, I wasn't mad at him. I was mad at myself for being so weak. I was unable to help him.

When I came back inside the office, the security guys had encircled the cubicle and were checking every part of it, asking lots of questions to which I tried to reply as evasively as possible. It wasn't easy considering that my co-workers and my boss were also trying to know what had happened and were all talking at the same time to me.  
No I hadn't been harmed, no, the alien hadn't tried to cut the glass with some x-rays coming from his eyes, no, I didn't touch the glass... and on and on...

I explained that the alien had tried to hit the glass several times with hands and feet and that he was so strong that the cubicle actually took a few severe blows, but that it showed no sign of giving in. What did you want me to say? I had to find a reason why the alarm had set off, I couldn't just say that nothing had happened, because I knew what it meant: Mello would be transferred in a cubicle with a thicker safe glass and security would be reinforced, and I would probably never be alone with him again.

I was forced to make a report. I sat at my desk, and created the most believable story I could manage. I tried to think of every consequence to my words, and carefully avoided anything that meant a change. I wanted Mello to stay where he was, no transfer, no more guards, nothing that meant I couldn't help him.

Things fortunately went back to normal and I ended my shift at my desk. I felt so bad, so bad... Physically, morally...  
Mello looked pretty bad too, actually. He was sat against the far end of the cubicle, his arms encircling his knees, his head buried in them, and he breathed heavily. His skin, already pale usually, was even paler.  
What now?

I had to leave. My shift was over and I had to go home. I stayed longer, pretending to be late with the files Gennaro had sent me. But I couldn't extend my time in the office forever, and so I left. Reluctantly. Mello didn't even look up from his knees. I gave him a last look before I closed the door behind me, and it's only when it was almost closed that I saw the gold chain dangling between his fingers.

I walked back to my car, sat inside and burst down in tears.


	8. Chapter 8

_**Note:** Back with the new year! I'm finally able to write something, and it should last a bit, now that I'm not so tired anymore. My brain is about to explode with all this time without writing, because it hasn't stopped bubbling with ideas, but I shall finish every ongoing fic minus Lithium (because there's still as many chapters to go as there are already posted so this monster fic is not near being completed) before starting anything new.  
_  
_I suppose I should be wishing you all a Happy New Year, but I'd rather wish you all happy everything ^^_  
_Oh, and thanks to all my lovely readers to follow me one more year, and for the festive cards I received!_

* * *

When I woke up, there were voices all around me, and when my sight adjusted to the blinding light, I realised that I was in a hospital bed. What the fuck?  
I felt groggy. I tried to remember what had happened but all that came to my mind was me sitting in my car and crying.

It's only when I tried to move that the pain in my chest, on my left side, explained the situation to me.  
Wasn't I a bit young for a heart attack? Okay, I was a smoker, didn't exactly care for a proper diet and exercised only when I had to run after a bus but still...  
I knew that what had happened with Mello was more than likely responsible of the state I was in but I couldn't bring myself to be mad at him or even give a fuck at all.

As soon as my mind was clear about the situation, all I wanted was to go back to my work. Mello was alone back there and I was worried about him. What about his own heart? He seemed to be stronger than humans but still, dying alone on Earth from a heart attack trying to escape some bastards that thought they could dispose of him, when all he wanted was a peaceful chance at love? That would be terrible...

I tried to get up, but a nurse forced me into bed again. I protested and asked to be let out but no doctor accepted to let me sign out of here. They insisted to keep me at least two days more in observation. Damn!  
I thought I'd go crazy. Two fucking days, the longest in my whole life.  
I contemplated the thought of calling Gennaro but first, I wasn't allowed anything except rest. No cell phone, no gaming device, not even TV... and second, what would I say? Anything related to Mello would sound suspicious, and I wasn't even close acquaintance with Gennaro, we were recent coworkers and even if our relationship was cordial, that was about all, so he would find my call pretty weird.

I champed at the bit until the very moment I could finally get out of here, and barely stopped home for a shower, a change of clothes and food before I drove back to work.  
Of course, everyone was surprised to see me, but I reassured them the best I could about my state. Yes, I felt fine (lie...), no, I wasn't tired (and lie...), yes, I had medics to take and yes, I had taken them. I was slightly surprised myself at how the boss mothered me, this was a side of him I wouldn't have expected. He even brought me some tea while I tried to catch up with the latest news about 'the alien' with Gennaro.

Actually, I was trying to hide my worries from the moment I had stepped in the office, because Mello wasn't here. I could feel panic rise in me but I had to know what had happened without looking suspicious, which was a hard thing to do right now, my heart down in my feet.  
I breathed when Gennaro told me that Mello had been transferred in another part of the building after I had left with the ambulance, because he had collapsed at some point, unconscious, and they had taken this as a cue to put him in the room where the experiments would take place, avoiding the longer process of polluting the air he breathed in the cubicle to get him in that state.  
They were waiting for me to come back to start with said experiments, but hadn't expected me here so soon. I briefly wondered if it had been wiser not to show up then, but they'd have me replaced if I didn't. The tests would be done, no matter what or who...

We then all left for the new place, a few corridors further. I mentally noted that the new office was side by side with the hangar where we had gotten the tour of Mello's spaceship. Of course the scenario of taking Mello and escaping in his spaceship crossed my mind but let's face it, there were too many guards in there for it to happen... and Mello needed to be conscious because a twig like me would never be able to carry him, and the ship probably needed fuel or something... too many negative parameters.  
I was so clueless, and for one second, I envied the others. They didn't care, it did nothing to them, what happened here. Of course they were quite excited to work on such a subject, an _alien_, but they didn't bring their emotions at work apart from curiosity.

It was funny in some kind of way, that place change, because the way we had to settle things, computers, the material available, everything was just plain normal. High-tech but still so very normal. We didn't have weird equipment, unknown technologies and marvellous means, and even if, tests on Mello apart, I still loved my job, I had no choice but to admit that it was far of the childhood dream and Hollywood movies.

I was seeing all those people turning around him, taking pulse, preparing to inject stuff, doing whatever they had to, I was seeing Mello free of any cubicle, or actually I was inside of it with him, with nothing between us, I could have touched him, but I had no reason to, and it made me mad that I had to stay away and do my job for the sake of things looking normal.  
Actually, it was initially planned that Mello would be placed in a bigger cubicle, in the same situation, tied on a table, with an access for the guys in charge of the tests, and all the wiring stuff connecting Mello to monitoring going through the cubicle's roof, and he would be locked in when no test was performed, but considering his attempt at breaking the glass, the expensive new cubicle hadn't been deemed safe enough due to the possible weakness of all the places where wires went in and out of it. He seemed to be able to jump quite high so he could possibly access those weak places. Talk about wasting the taxpayer's money. Mmh, feels like déja-vu...

So the new room where all's been transferred became some kind of safe cubicle, with the exception that if anything happened, we'd be locked in with the danger. So, we had all been provided a fire gun, and that's when everyone's true side became obvious. Gennaro looked afraid to even touch the gun, like if it was deadly by itself. He was uncomfortable with the thought of using it, and worried that if forced to, he'd shoot one of his co-workers. Jon, on the opposite, played with it a bit before the boss demanded that it was put away in his desk. He was grinning from ear to ear looking at the piece of metal like a kid with a toy, and didn't spare us his showy comments about how he'd freeze the alien in place before he ever made a step toward him, right between the eyes. The boss didn't seem to like being in possession of the gun either, but simply lodged it in a gun holder next to his left arm and didn't say a word more. We had to have it within arm reach, but the boss, since he would be coming and going from and to his office outside of this aisle of the building had to carry it with him.

I refrained in time the start given by a strange feeling, as I was depositing the last bits I had in hands on my new desk. I knew where it came from, I knew what it meant, but I had to hide my concern. Most of all, I had to hide my happiness. Mello was waking up. Don't ask me. I was turning my back to where he was lying, there hadn't been a noise and still, I_felt _it.  
I turned around like if everything was in control, when my heart was beating so fast it made me fear for another heart attack. I was only glad that Mello wasn't looking at me. As much as I craved seeing his eyes, it was better this way, I could manage the self-control without his beautiful gaze on me.

Gennaro and Jon were watching him too, as he looked around him and acknowledged the place change, blinking several times to adjust to the strong lightning. Then he realised he was tied to a gurney-like table by wrists and ankles and briefly tried them before stopping still. That's when he looked at me.  
No need for telepathy, my apologetic look said it all, and I knew he understood. He looked so tired, paler than he naturally was. He closed his eyes and sighed. And that was all, he didn't move anymore.

The guys doing the tests arrived (I was there to study them with Gennaro, who was specialised in human biology, so we could put our knowledges together first to guess the big lines of Mello's environment of origin, from his reactions to various substances, plants, allergens and physical tests, but I wouldn't proceed to the tests themselves).  
I had to watch, and I couldn't decide if it was better or worse not to be the one to do those things to Mello...

The lump in my throat became permanent.  
I was fighting back tears on a permanent basis from the moment they made the first injection to him.  
It started of with a simple hay fever test.  
Results showed that Mello's system was quick to fight any intrusion. He had white and red blood cells just like us, but white ones seemed to be a lot more effective, and anything doing wrong to his system was fast erased.  
I was fascinated, I have to admit it. Under my microscope, I could witness cells properly eating the invader. Neat and clean.

The first three days were not so bad, I mean, we didn't do anything harmful. Or at least, the results showed that it hadn't been harmful to Mello. Hay fever, flu, stomach bugs, everything was wiped off his system in no time. But it could have been deadly, for all we knew... I was aware of it.

But on the fourth day, things went serious. Before we went on in the disease department, it was planned that we tested drugs on Mello. I was anxious to the point I puked during all the night before, unable to sleep.  
I was still feeling exhausted from my heart attack and the boss wanted to send me back home when he saw me show up looking like a cadaver in the morning, but I insisted that it was nothing.

I checked the last stats about Mello, taken during the night. He had fully recovered from whatever he's been set under the previous days, and as far as we knew, on the scale of every stat noted since he had been found, everything seemed normal. Except that to me, he still looked awfully weak. He hadn't fought his ties, not once. He should have, I mean, that's what everyone would do, right?

I had to look every second of Mello under weed, then heroine, then cocaine, then acid, during the following week. I had to watch when his eyes were only dark pupils, when the sweat rolled on his forehead, when his breathing was so laboured that I thought he would choke, when he shook so much the whole table shook with him, when he lost consciousness, when he regained it, when he fought tears of pain...  
Not once did he look at me.  
Not once did he take the risk of connecting with me and making me feel what he was going through.

Only when it was all over, five days after the drugs tests had begun, only when his body came back to normal, did he let his head fall on the side, his look exhausted, eyes glistening with held back tears, and gave me a faint smile. One that said he was okay. That _tried_to say he was okay. Because he wasn't, and I knew it. If I had been able to feel things when locking eyes with him through the glass, you could imagine how strong they came to me without any barrier between us, no matter how hard he tried to refrain it...


	9. Chapter 9

I was worried to no end when I left work that evening. I perfectly knew that Mello was holding back everything he felt, and still I had felt a lot of his emotions, which meant that he had it a lot worse.  
I wasn't forgetting that he had collapsed the day I had my heart attack, and that his own heart had probably suffered too. And with all that he went through with those tests, considering he hadn't fully recovered when they had started, I was really, really scared to find him dead every morning when I showed up to work.  
Still, I told myself that I was on the easy side. He was the one being properly tortured, I couldn't find another word for what we were doing to him. I included myself because I was part of it, and as for now, I hadn't stood up for him. I was there with my great principles and still I had it easy, I wasn't the one on the operating table...

They were merely trying to see how he reacted to various substances and light diseases, to know where they would be going next. Actually, he reacted to drugs pretty much the same as humans did with such dosages for a first intake so they had, to my great relief, considered it dangerous to overdose him just for the sake of studies. They wanted him alive, that was the only good side of Mello's situation right now.

But my relief knowing that was short lived when I got the next step of the tests by email the next week. It had already been excruciating to stay at home during the week end (I was probably one of the rare persons on Earth right now wanting to go to work on their days off...), but now that it was finally Monday, I knew that what would happen next would make things even more difficult for me. I needed to find a way to be alone with him. Or to stop the tests. I just couldn't agree with that. I should not agree with what's been done already anyway, but now...  
How could I protect Mello? How could I stop the tests without risking being fired? If I was, then all hope was lost.

I was disgusted with myself. I didn't even know if protecting Mello prevailed on the fear of simply not see him anymore or know what happened to him if I wasn't there to witness it myself. Of course I wanted to save him from that nightmare, but at the same time, I wanted to be near him as long as he was on Earth, because I was curious for him.  
Better focus on saving him instead of mentally slapping myself anyway...

I was re-reading the process of the next tests for the umpteenth time, but no solution magically crossed my mind. Nothing.  
First, they would draw samples of blood and skin from Mello and test-tube his cells after they'd been inoculated with various forms of cancer, and AIDS.  
The amazing results of the first tests had led to this. If he could recover that fast, then maybe he held the key to cure such diseases.

Mello didn't seem to suffer when the samples were taken. The guy that draw blood merely noted aloud that the skin was harder to pierce, but nothing more. They eventually kept an eye on the way he was healing on the spots where the skin was taken, but even if he didn't bleed much and seemed to heal nicely, it wasn't spectacular enough to be studied. It was pretty much the same as for a healthy strong human.

On Tuesday, I noticed that Mello's face looked more like the colour I've seen in the beginning, he wasn't so pale anymore, and as he briefly looked at me when I sat at my desk, without no one noticing, I felt him stronger. He had recovered a bit obviously, and it made me happy. He was still weak but a lot better so I was less worried.

On Wednesday it was decided that Mello would be back in the first cubicle since it had been checked for security reasons after his attempt at breaking the glass and that they didn't need him on the operating table for quite some time now, while the samples were being studied in the lab. At least someone had had the humanity of not letting him tied there for all that amount of time...

I painfully watched as they set a respiratory mask on him, polluting the air he breathed to put him in a state that would allow them to untie him and put him back there. His eyes slowly closed, and I excused myself to the toilets, breaking down in tears there. It felt like putting a dog to sleep on a cold vet table.

Back in our first office, we had to wait for the first results to be sent by email concerning the most important diseases. Gennaro left for the lab because he needed to be physically there, he had to compare the progression of cells in comparison to the human samples provided. I'd only be assisting him when we'd have the results on paper with our own human samples and all the data we had gotten from hospitals across the country.  
But for now, I had to compare all that had been gathered as informations since the beginning, and what had come out of the latest tests that were more focused on vital statistics when he had recovered from the lightest diseases he'd been inoculated, to a panel by regions of the world and to determine if the results of the alien could be aligned with a particular region, giving us informations on his biotope on his own planet.

The height of the pile of printed files (sorry, trees) on my desk gave me a very good reason to do extra hours, meaning I could stay at my desk, alone in the office. Ok, there always were security guards on the other side of the door, but they couldn't hear me if I kept my voice slightly down or see me if I interacted with Mello.  
Jon was dating this girl again and he was out of the office as soon as his shift was done everyday, no extra hours for him (although he had as much work as I had but hey, Jon had better make the best of his relationship, if a girl was brave enough to date that ugly fuck...)

The boss and Gennaro weren't too keen on letting me here alone after the event with Mello trying to break out but I brought my gun back, put it in my desk, and it somehow reassured them.  
They couldn't even insist that I take some files at home if I really wanted to do extra work because it was way too dangerous for the secrecy of what happened here, so I managed to get the point.  
The boss arranged things to get extra rounds from the security guys, that would have a look inside every hour while I was here, and I was provided a beeper that I just had to push the button of in case of emergency, and someone would come immediately. But I wasn't allowed here after 10pm anyway. This, I think was how the boss made sure I got enough sleep, since he seemed to like to mother me since I had my heart attack.

I had what I wanted and that was all that mattered to me: I had hours alone with Mello.  
I was sat at my desk, everyone was gone, the security guards had checked on me twenty minutes ago when the last of my co-workers had left, and there I was, staring at the cubicle, and at Mello unconscious.  
I knew it wouldn't be long until he came back to his senses, his breathing had come back to normal after being laboured because of the pollution in his lungs, just like the first time. His cheeks were normally coloured, he looked so peaceful. I wish he was... I knew that as soon as he would be awoken, he'd just realise the nightmare he was in again.

I suddenly had an idea, and approached the cubicle.  
Putting my palms against the glass, I concentrated. I didn't have Mello's abilities, but still, I wanted to try and help.  
I focused on the rhythm of his chest rising and falling, and adjusted my breathing on his.  
It lasted quite some time, nothing happened. It made me mad. I was so fucking helpless! So useless, even!  
I cursed, my forehead falling on the glass in defeat.  
That's when I felt the second beating echoing with my own heart. Then I understood. Trying hard wasn't enough, I really had to want it, desperately. Somehow it made sense. The glass, the day Mello had tried to shatter it, trembled even more with the rise of his desperation. The more he panicked, the stronger it had become.  
I couldn't compare myself with Mello concerning the strength of my abilities, but I could at least support him while he was waking up. Help him wake up, even, I hoped.  
I wanted it, but no matter how hard I focused, only something stronger like anger made it happen. It was weird and I wished I could control that, but if Mello himself didn't seem to be able to, there was no hope for me, weak human that I was.

So I concentrated on the second beating, pressing my palms harder on the transparent wall. I slid on my knees, wanting to put myself at the same level as Mello who was lying on the floor.  
"Mello..." I whispered, "Wake up, please..."  
Oh yeah, wake up so you see that you're still trapped here and that I can't do anything for you... I wondered if it would be better if he died. He wouldn't have to go through this, then...

But I wanted him alive. Yes, egoistically. I wanted to know everything that was to know about him, I wanted to communicate with him, I wanted... no, it wasn't fair, I couldn't want that. I couldn't wish that something romantic happened with him, just because I was curious for him and that he was attractive. It wouldn't last, because he would never be allowed free on Earth, because no relationship could be maintained in those walls, and because he had come here to find love, and if we were talking about true love, then I'd be a liar. Free him in the name of love and risk to get him killed? Keep him here so he stays alive, but trapped forever? Either way, I couldn't give him hope when I was just a coward. An emphatic coward, but coward anyway.

I started when Mello moved. I was so far gone in my thoughts that I hadn't realised he had woken up.  
He sat face to me, criss crossed, with difficulty, his body still numb, and stared at me straight in the eyes.  
He had that questioning gaze on, but didn't ask anything. It was the third time it happened and this time he was scrutinizing me so hard that I wondered if he had read my thoughts in my mind.  
"Mello, how do you feel?" I asked him, trying to break the silence and this insistent gaze on me, in me even.

He crawled until he was on his knees face to me, in the same position as I was, and I realised how tired he looked. Not only physically, but his eyes, they looked so dull.  
"Matt..." it was barely a whisper. And he started to cry.


	10. Chapter 10

_**Note:** I suppose I shouldn't make any plans about the length of my fics or the possible updates because I'm obviously unable to guess correctly XD_  
_So enjoy this chapter, the next one coming up shortly because my mind finally decided to go back to work and I'm on it as I post this one._  
_Oh, and yes, TSFMS, Lithium, Negative and WEHB will be updated, the ideas are there, and they'll eventually accept to be written :)_

* * *

Damn. I was totally helpless in front of Mello's tears.  
Apart from the fact that it wrung my heart to see him like this, I was angry. Oh so angry.  
During all the time when they had performed tests on him, I could physically touch him and hadn't had the occasion once, and now he was trapped in here once again, and I wanted so badly to take him in my arms, to soothe him, and there was nothing I could do. Hell, even being able to hug him, there would be nothing I could do. How on earth would I make _that_ better? And by that, I mean everything, from the loss of his mother, the eagerness to find love, the cruel reality of what the human race that he so wanted to meet is doing to him regardless of any ethic, the physical pain, sickness, the glass cell... there was not one single aspect that I could solve.

I instinctively put my hands on the cubicle's wall.  
I was surprised when Mello let his forehead fall against it, on the other side. I don't know... it reminded me so much of how my mother used to put her hands on my head, holding me close, when I was sad as a little boy...  
I couldn't hold him, so I just thought hard about it. I imagined my hands stroking his hair, they were probably silky soft, pressing lightly to feel his cheek resting on my chest a bit more, smelling his hair... I could hear my mother's voice murmuring that I smelled like apples, because of the shampoo she used to buy me.  
I reopened my eyes, stirred out of my daze, when I felt the glass get so warm I couldn't keep my hands on it anymore, and straightened slightly, still sat criss-crossed on the floor, looking at Mello.  
He barely had the tip of his fingers touching the wall between us, his forehead still resting against it, and I could feel him, the glass, everything around him radiate heat. A lot of heat.

His eyes fluttered open at the lack of contact and he stared at me. There weren't tears in his eyes anymore, just dried tracks on his cheeks that I wanted to erase with my thumbs and kiss the sadness away.  
"Apples." he said, and a faint smile appeared on his lips.  
I was speechless. I knew of his abilities but hadn't gotten used to how awesome it was. So I just gaped at him dumbly.  
"I... don't know apples." Mello whispered, "What... smell... is apples?"  
I supposed that no matter how great his abilities were, smells were an impossible thing to get from my mind.  
And it meant that there were no apples on Emaghi? Damn, what I took as a basic thing was foreign to him. We're always someone else's stranger, huh? That actually took all its sense at that moment.  
"I'll bring you one tomorrow." I simply replied, hoping he could smell it through the glass. He smiled a bit more.

There was a change in him. It wasn't so clear, just a faint difference in the way he looked at me, but I could tell there was something different.  
I didn't have time to study it further, I really had to go. It was already past 10pm and I wasn't supposed to be there anymore. I left the office just when the security guys on night shift came to check on me, that was a close one.  
That didn't prevent me from thinking about it all night. Or at least during the time I stayed awake, which was not that much considering how sleep deprived I had been these last days. But the anxiety, the eagerness to know more of Mello, everything that was happening troubled my much need rest, turning it into agitated nightmares and semi-conscious tears.

When I arrived the next day, the cubicle was empty. Past the initial panic, I calmed down a bit when I was told to go to the other office. That meant that Mello was on the operating table again. Not sure it bode anything well, actually.

He looked blatantly at me when I entered, and seemed a lot more worried that I didn't seem to know the reason why they had decided to put him here again when it shouldn't have happened before at least two days.  
Gennaro noticed, but said nothing. He could imagine anything he wanted, he was still unlikely to guess the nature of my and Mello's contact habits.

I was quickly up to date with the recent facts and programmed tests for the day, and had to fight hard not to look at Mello. It was awful. And it was my fault. It didn't look like it but between two interactions with Mello, I actually had to do my job. And it was my fault that they would proceed with _that_.  
As I had properly done my study and comparisons of biotopes on Earth and the elements sampled from him, and had been able to put light on the fact that there wasn't one even close to Mello's biotope on Earth, further studies were needed with that in mind, and they involved more samples of blood and flesh, and another of more that clearly had me revolted: sperm.  
I understood that the sample could reveal a lot, but no. Hell no. That was so wrong. How would they proceed anyway? Did Mello's race even reproduce the old fashioned way, anyway?

I was only glad to see that Mello had recovered quickly from the pollution increase needed to manipulate him safely, but still heartbroken to see him tied to the table like that. His breathing was becoming even, and they started with the procedure.  
They drew blood, little flesh samples too, and then got themselves ready for the sperm sample.  
I opened wide eyes when they apparently would simply jerk him off.  
"I don't wanna see that." Gennaro chuckled, leaving the room, "You stayin'?"  
"They're not even sure it works that way! That's gross..." I objected, but of course it was useless, they would give it a try anyway.  
Gennaro left for the other office to fetch some coffee since we weren't allowed anything like a coffee machine here due to security restrictions, but I stayed. Gross or not, I couldn't bring myself to leave, even if it felt wrong to witness that.

By the time they had the test tube ready, and played who would do this at rock scissors paper (seriously, S.E.T.I. or kindergarten?), Jon and the boss had arrived, and was laughing his ass off in front of the situation. In any other case that could have been funny, but Mello's look made everything a lot more dramatic: he wasn't enjoying that, totally understood what they were about to do, and obviously disapproved. The anger in his eyes was terrible.

Mello suddenly started to fight the straps retaining his wrists and ankles as the guy that had lost had undone the first button of the jeans I gave him. But this time, Mello wasn't weak anymore, and the straps gave in pretty quickly. Those straps could hold in place men three times bigger than Mello and he had just ripped them apart with one or two trials.  
That's when I realised how strong he actually was. Those ties were impossible to tear, probably even for a bear.

I wasn't scared. Maybe I should have been but I trusted him, even if that was stupid. But it was another story in front of me. The two guys that weren't doing the sampling had ran away at the other side of the room, scared shitless, which still was nothing compared to the expression on the last guy's face. His glass tube broken on the floor, he was stuck to the floor, fear leaving him unable to move, trembling and whimpering for mercy, his lower lip quivering.  
Mello was on him in no time and the way he pushed him out of his way, the guy hitting the wall 15 feet away from where he was initially standing told me two things: Mello could send anyone flying in the air with one single arm, but he didn't mean any harm because once the guy was away from him, he didn't go further with the violence.  
My instincts told me to run to him but I stopped cold even before I could take a step. Jon had grabbed his gun and was aiming at Mello.  
"NO!" I yelled.  
"Jon. Don't do anything stupid." Boss said.  
"Like we have a choice now." the fucktard replied, still holding the gun in Mello's direction. I could see in his eyes that all of this was just a game to him, he would probably _love_ to shoot Mello.

At that point all I could do was try to make Mello understand that he shouldn't move. I looked at him but he was staring at the gun. There was no sign of fear in his eyes though. He glanced at me finally, then back at the gun. He had just taken the information in my mind about the harm that Jon could do to him with such a thing in his hand, and looked surprised. No guns on Emaghi, apparently...  
Mello squinted his eyes. He was concentrating, I was used to that expression now.  
"If he's able to do telekinesis, we're screwed." Boss muttered.

"OW!" John screamed all of a sudden, letting the gun fall from his hand.  
It happened so quickly that it took me a few seconds to realise what was going on. Mello looked alarmed, then stared at the firearm falling, still very focused, then ran to me, pulled me by the arm and pushed the boss a few feet further before stopping at the other side of the room while the gun, armed, clattered on the floor and a bullet got fired, bouncing on the opposite wall, ricochetting right in the direction of where the boss and me had stood a few seconds earlier.  
Even the boss got what happened (Jon didn't before he got explained, but that's the essence of the moron's contradictions: he's a high ranked scientist but he's stupid as fuck). Mello had realised too late that the gun would fire once he would have rendered the metal burning and that Jon would have dropped it, but he had (amazingly) been able to calculate the angle of the fall, thus the way the bullet would take, and had prevented anyone to be shot. Well, not sure he'd have prevented Jon to be shot, though (or at least I hoped he wouldn't have).  
That was mean from me but I was really hating Jon. I had never liked him but I was now on a level of hatred that I had never felt for anyone.

The boss, who had been pushed a bit too hard and had landed on the floor, was staring at me and that's when I realised that Mello was _touching_ me. We hadn't moved an inch and he was still holding my wrist tightly. It almost hurt, but it was at the same time so great that I could have cried.  
We had spectators so I wasn't in a position where I could do exactly what I had wanted to do since I had met Mello, that is to say hug him or simply take his hand, but even if to the eyes of the three doctors, Jon and the boss he was just gripping me, the communication was going on strongly between us.

My body was on feelings overdrive, everything coursing so fast through me, in me, between us. It was a lot more stronger than through a glass panel and I felt my head start to spin.  
"Jeevas, are you okay?" the boss asked, seeing that I wasn't moving and that I looked dizzy.  
It was too much, the feelings, the adrenaline, the fear, the mental wreck I was after the latest events. I was still weak from my heart attack this finally got the best of me: I collapsed.


	11. Chapter 11

_**Note:** I probably shouldn't commit myself on this, but expect this fic to end on chapter 13 or 14. I'm very close to my planned ending now._  
_Rating is still T, but it may not last. It could as well stay like L'Amour Looks Something Like You, fairytale like, but I may add a lemon, I'm still trying to decide.  
Thank you for the wonderful reviews!_

* * *

I hadn't lost consciousness, but my legs felt wobbly, my whole body was shutting off and I felt myself being caught around my middle and under my armpits by arms so strong and so fast that I barely touched the ground before being lifted up again. The pain in my chest was unbearable and I let out a moan, feeling my left arm get numb.

At that moment I was sure I was going to die. Two heart attacks within a few days, that was not good. Not good at all.  
I could barely register the voices around us because all I could hear... feel, was Mello holding me, whispering to me, his lips to my ear on the side that no one could see.  
"Sorry... I... sorry... I don't want that... I harmed you, I'm sorry..."

The boss was screaming my name and I turned my head to look at him, my vision blurred.  
"JEEVAS! Jon, call the ER! Quick! Oh God Jeevas!" he was shifting from one foot to the other, trying to decide if he should approach or not but braced himself and ran to me. I saw him arrive fast then stop like if he had hit a wall. An invisible wall.  
"LET HIM GO!" he yelled, trying to come closer, and unable to. I could feel Mello tensed, I knew what it meant: concentration. He was protecting me, although they had no reason to harm me. I knew he wasn't doing this to protect himself, he was strong enough to fight them, there was something in him that felt so desperate, I suppose Mello himself didn't know what to do anymore so he simply acted by instinct.

Then it was over. This is a crazy thing to say, but I died. Or at least, my heart stopped.  
I barely remember waking up again, taking a deep breath, a whistling breath that hurt my lungs really bad, with everyone gathered around but at a safe distance, no one being allowed closer with Mello's barrier.  
I was laid on the floor, my head sustained by Mello's left hand while his right one was against my chest. The double beat resounding in me was loud, and although it was too hard for me to really focus, I knew what had just happened. Mello had kick-started my heart with his own, and was now giving it its rhythm back.  
The power of this thing was crazy, Mello had just saved me...

The ER arrived, and when they began approaching, Mello let go of me, delicately leaving my head to rest on the floor, and stood up, putting distance between him and me. The ER guys came to me and I knew that the barrier had gone. They gave me the primary cares to make sure I could make it to the hospital but once they had me on a stretcher I called the boss, my voice barely audible but the silence was so thick that everyone heard me.  
"You're gonna be fine Jeevas, you're young, you'll recover soon, but this time, I won't allow you back to work as soon as the last time, understood?"  
I could see he was worried over me, and I appreciated the concern, it was genuine. Even Jon looked a bit shaken in the background, the three other guys still totally paralysed at the other side of the room.  
"Don't... hurt him..." I whispered, "He's... not dangerous, don't let him get hurt, please..."  
"Don't worry Jeevas, just take care of yourself, leave the rest to us, okay?" he replied, not getting my point.  
But there wasn't much more I could do at that point, I was way too weak, so I just gave one last look to Mello before they took me away.

The first days at the hospital, I was in a sort of daze. I was feeling so poorly that I was in a semi-conscious state that made me lose track of time. I didn't register the dates, how much time I was laying in that bed, I was, in the back of my mind, still worried for Mello but to me days were minutes and so I thought I'd be back to him in no time.  
When I had recovered enough to be aware of my surroundings, I realised with horror that I'd been stuck here for almost two weeks. But no matter how hard I tried, they didn't let me out. I spent a total of three weeks, THREE WEEKS in that fucking bed, and let me tell you that I'd have preferred to be unconscious the whole time because the wait, not knowing what was up with Mello, was killing me.

I wondered if my heart would be that weak forever after what Mello had done. Not that I resented him, I just didn't want to die this soon, not when I had met someone so intrinsically good. He could have killed everyone and escaped, he could have left me there to die to runaway. But he chose to stay despite the risks. He chose my life over his.  
Mello had come on Earth to find love, and to me, he deserved it more than anyone. He thought he didn't know what love was, he wanted to discover it by himself and not just look at it from afar, through a lens, but actually, he was the personalization of love at its purest. Few people would endanger themselves like that for a stranger. Most of the time people did this out of love only.

I stopped cold. I was driving to my workplace and stopped in the middle of the traffic, horns blaring behind me, insults fusing even...  
I resumed driving, a lot faster than previously. Now I needed to arrive there even faster.  
The change in the way he looked at me, I had placed it. It was not the usual interest, but _tenderness_.  
My own feelings were probably a lot stronger than just physical attraction, and although we barely knew each other, and that it was hard to word our osmosis (although it was probably pretty normal to him on his planet), the amount of communication that had gone on between him and me equalled several months of verbal exchange.  
He had explored my brain, my feelings, and had showed me the way to his. I don't know if he felt something for me (if he actually did, which I believed, and I hoped I wasn't wrong) because I was the first one, and only one to show him care and respect, maybe he'd have fallen for anyone being kind to him, but I didn't want to think about that possibility. It just made me sad as I just had realised that maybe he cared for me, and ruined all my hopes.

When I arrived in the office, where everyone greeted me cheerfully, except Jon, of course, who barely nodded in my direction, I was relieved to see Mello in the cubicle.  
"He actually went there by himself." Boss told me.  
Oh God. He trapped himself. I had wondered if he had actually tried to escape once I was gone, but no, he had just gone back to the other office and sat in the cubicle, waiting for someone to lock the access again. No fuss, no violence, not a word.  
So he hadn't spoken although he could have communicated in almost proper English. Well, it was probably for the best. But still, I don't know if I would have been able to do that, at his place. But I suppose that since he had showed a cooperative side, people would probably consider him a bit more like a person and not a thing. Oh, who was I fooling? He was still in a cubicle and no one had apparently deemed important to change their ways toward him even after he had saved my life. I was becoming more and more sad... how fucked up were these people in the end? There didn't seem to have an ounce of empathy or kindness in them anymore, if they ever had one...

I walked to the cubicle, I was past caring for the people around. Mello had stood up as soon as he had seen me enter the office, and it was obvious to anyone that he was waiting for me. I should have been worried by the others reactions, but I couldn't bring myself to it, there could have been a hundred people present here, I wasn't seeing them.  
I stood face to him, mere inches away from the glass, and smiled. He smiled back, for a few seconds I felt my heart being louder. No, that wasn't just out of the feelings I felt for him, he was actually checking my heart. Like that, no touching glass, just from the distance. His abilities seemed to grow stronger the more we interacted and damn how I wanted to ask a thousand questions to him about that...  
He sat back on the floor. He didn't want to involve me in anything and minimized our interactions in front of the others. I didn't care but he did, probably a lot more aware of the danger than me as I was not exactly right in my shoes after everything that had happened to me lately.

So I walked back to my desk, and found my mother's locket on it.  
I looked at Mello questioningly but he didn't react.  
"He gave it to me before he entered the cubicle." Boss said. I exchanged a look with him and I knew that he had been moved by this. By the whole thing, my heart attack, and what Mello had done before and after. Maybe he was realising how wrong all of this was? Not completely though, since Mello was still trapped here... but maybe there was hope.

I was now alone in the office with the boss. I had requested to talk to him in private, so we were now sat at each side of my desk, Jon, Gennaro and the others gone to the cafeteria for lunch.  
"Why keeping him here?" I fired straight away.  
"We can't take a risk. You know that. I know what he did, and I am thankful for it, but we can't trust him." Boss replied, "Believe me, if we could let him free, we would. I understand how you feel but don't let what he did alter your judgement. It was a nice thing to do, but he's still an unknown equation, no one knows if he's there with pacific reasons or not, and he could as well lie to get what he came for. He can't even communicate anyway so we really have no choice but to play it safe, Matt."

At that point, I was torn between the will to free Mello, say everything I knew, that he could speak almost proper English, that I knew his name, that he was the kindest person ever, and the certitude that I'd better shut up about this because I didn't know what it would lead to. What was the right thing to do?

"He seems to be fond of you though. I have to admit, you've been a lot more concerned about him than us. Humanly speaking... I mean... he's not human... oh you get it." he sighed.  
"Does that sound wrong to you to treat him like a person? You all act like if he belongs to human science, but he's not a fucking plant you can slice to study! He's alone here, kept prisoner, the worst is done to him and he obviously doesn't want that, have you ever thought that he may miss his planet, his relatives, that he could be scared and that even maybe someone is missing him?"  
I knew that it was unlikely but I wanted to get my point across.  
"That's not so easy Matt, I'm tied and bound, I'm not doing what I want here, I have superiors to report to. They decide, not me."  
"Would you do the same to me?"  
"What?" Boss looked at me dumbfoundedly.  
"Would you test drugs on me? Take my blood and flesh, try to jerk me off against my will, inoculate me whatever disease you could, for the sake of science?"  
"That's not the same Matt, I understand where you're going, but that's not the same, you can't compare..."  
I cut him: "Oh yes I can compare! I can even relate!" At that point I had stood from my chair, fuming, "I can't say I'm surprised, people already think it's totally okay to test stupid lipsticks on rats, why would you act different now, huh?"  
My fists were balls, and I was angry. Angry at myself for not telling Mello to runaway and leave me, when he still could, angry that my heart was too weak to help him break the glass, angry that there was no way anyone shared my views on the situation. It felt pretty shameful to be human at that moment.  
"Matt. Matt calm down. Think of your health, don't get worked up like that, it's not good for you." Boss mut his hands on my shoulders, making me seat back on my chair, his tone soothing, "I can only promise you one thing: we will treat him as humanly as possible from now on, but we still have to conduct tests, I can't do nothing about that."

I was about to resign, not really in a position to do anything more, feeling totally helpless, and still feeling pretty weak. That is, until I received the next procedure by email, and discovered the nature of the next tests that Mello would have to go through.  
It was too much. They were readying themselves to inoculate AIDS to him.


	12. Chapter 12

_**Note:** Cliffie! That's all I have to say.  
Oh, and maybe, thank you for all the reviews, I haven't had so many in a long time, and it really makes me happy to know that I shared something with you through my story *blows kisses to everyone*  
Next update tomorrow!_

* * *

The last results of the lab tests were so positive that it was now required to test more deadly diseases. Mello had easily survived the minor ones, along with tetanos, anthrax, sleep disease and a lot of others that gave me a cold sweat just by thinking of their names. He seemed to be resistant to everything.

So they had tested AIDS on his cells in test tubes. It had apparently taken a bit longer, but the virus was properly eaten by Mello's white cells. I could understand the fuss about it, and the hopes for a cure, but seriously...  
Maybe in vitro, his cells had reacted well to AIDS, but it was too much playing with the life of a being. What if he wasn't able to fight the virus in vivo? What would they do next except try every AIDS therapy on him?  
I was starting to wonder where I had landed, because tests usually didn't get conducted that way. Official leagues for cancer research or AIDS or any lethal disease didn't proceed like that, so fast, with so few background.  
I had worked at the NASA, and even out tests on pieces of Mars' rocks and bits were a lot more formal and supervised.  
Here, I had the impression that they changed their mind according to the results to do what seemed fun to them, to point in the direction of what appealed the most to them regardless of any serious lead.

At that point the sperm sampling didn't seem to be the worst thing they would have done to him, and maybe if they had had it, they're have gone in another direction? No, that was unlikely... any clue at curing AIDS was a huge bait for any scientist and the promise of a lot of money, enough to attract greedy assholes.

The boss left for the cafeteria, after I declined going with him. I would be unable to swallow anything, and I was angry at him. I didn't want to spend time with him or anyone in the team for that matter. They were all to blame, for me.  
As soon as I was alone, I ran to the cubicle, Mello already on his feet, close to the glass.  
"Matt." he simply said.

Tears were rolling on my cheeks, I couldn't even refrain them. It was sadness and tiredness altogether, I was feeling worn out, but there was no way I'd give up on helping him. My decision was made.

I turned around the cubicle to reach for the control table and pushed the opening button once I had found it.  
I jumped ten miles high when a siren started wailing. Looking around me, I wasn't getting at all what was happening and double checked the label above the button. But no, I hadn't pushed the wrong button. But still, the cubicle hadn't open, and all emergency signs were flashing their red lights above every door.  
Soon, two security guards opened the main door of the office and started heading for my direction once they had spotted me next to the control table. I glanced at Mello, starting to get scared that I had done something irremediable, and Mello looked as alarmed as me.

"Stay where you are, don't move!" One of the security guys yelled at me over the siren.  
"What's going on?" I asked, quite disturbed by the fact that the other guard was aiming at me with his tazzer. I was still at a safe distance but there was no way I'd experience that thing. It already hurt by itself, I imagine, but with my heart...  
But the fact that he was threatening me although he knew me (we had met several times already, he knew I was working here) informed me that I had been tricked. They weren't checking what was wrong, they were really here to get me for doing something wrong.

The boss, Gennaro and Jon arrived running as the guards were approaching me step by step (somehow, they seemed scared to come close to the cubicle with Mello inside, they knew what he could do).  
"Jeevas, what do you think you're doing?" the boss looked disappointed in me deeply.  
"I told you he'd do that, now you're happy you followed my advice, I bet." Jon was grinning, very proud of himself.  
So it was that bastard's fault. They knew I'd end up doing something like that and had changed the setup of the control table. Everyone knew but me, talk about trust... well, okay, they were right not to trust me but that's not the point.

I was starting to feel my face heat up and it's only after a few seconds that I realised that it wasn't me being all red and stuff, but the cubicle radiating heat. At the same moment, the first security guard caught me by the arm and yanked me toward the door.  
"I suppose that you understand that you're fired, Jeevas. You'll be put in detention for the time being for endangering your colleagues on purpose and a complaint will be filed against you. Useless to say that if you say one word about anything taking place here, you'll be in great trouble." I could feel that the boss was sorry for being forced to say that to me, I could see in his eyes that he wished he had another choice. Jon, on the opposite, was delighted by my situation, and was giving me his nasty smile along with a disdainful look. I could have punched him.  
Gennaro didn't even look at me. He was trying to stay neutral but was completely uneasy with all of this, sitting on the border of a desk, arms crossed.

I protested, not that I could do much against the hefty giant that was pulling me by the arm. I suddenly heard a big thump and everyone froze. I took advantage of that to look behind me. I knew it was Mello.  
He was hammering the glass wall with his fists, trying to get attention.  
"Matt." he said, his voice slightly muted by the thick glass, giving him that awful aquarium-like sound. His tone was neutral, but I felt a shiver going down my spine at the thought that he had just said my name. They knew he knew my name. No good.

"What the fuck?" The words escaped Jon's mouth and all eyes were suddenly on me.  
"Care to explain?" Boss said in an irritated tone.  
"You called me by my first name a little earlier, I guess he heard you." Luckily I remembered that detail.  
Most gave me a disbelieving look. Did they know more than I thought? For an instant, the thought that there may have been cameras in here and that they actually knew everything occurred to me, but no, it couldn't be. Jon's surprise was genuine, and they would have used me if they had known all what had happened between Mello and me. It was more like them.  
"Take him away." Boss huffed, not wanting to look at me anymore.

Just as the guard resumed walking, still pulling my arm, one more thump resounded.  
"Matt. Hands off Matt."  
I looked at Mello, silently begging him to stop talking. He replied with a glance to the floor in front of the cubicle before setting his eyes on me again. I caught his drift and tried to take the guard by surprise by yanking my arm off his grip. I managed but as I sprinted to get closer to the safe glass, Jon, who was closer from me than the security guy now that I had moved, ran, grabbed both my arms and twisted them in my back. Damn, he was only two inches taller than me, but he was a lot stronger. He did it so violently that I tripped and fell on my knees, but he didn't let me go, keeping a strong hold on me, knelt behind me.  
"I got him!" I could feel the bastard exult in my back, and I wished I could have kicked him in the balls. As soon as I hit the floor, I felt the heat again, but I was still not close enough and Mello was unable to help me with the glass making an obstacle between us. Without it, Jon would have already been flying through the room.

But the heat was growing and suddenly the glass began vibrating. It was the same intensity as the day Mello had used both our hearts to make a sound wave, except that he was doing it alone now.  
I contorted to look at Mello, although my position didn't allow me to see much. Both his palms were flat on the surface of the cubicle, and there was such a rage in his eyes, in each of his features, wouldn't he have been doing this because of me, I would have been scared to death, literally.

"Oh you can shake the walls, and even sparkle if you like, your little friendship is over, E.T." Jon chuckled. I bet he regretted it as soon as he uttered his snarky comment because the whole cubicle began to tremble. Hard. Not just the glass, whose vibrations were growing in intensity, but the whole thing. The base, the ceiling, the aeration system, and soon I could feel, just like everyone, the ground shake like a little earthquake. The more it grew, the more I felt the heat reach me. Mello wasn't using a sound wave only, he was rising the glass' temperature. I found myself praying, really praying whatever God could exist for the combination of both to work.

Mello was so concentrated that his eyes looked almost black. He was reaching a level of anger that confirmed my theory: his abilities increased with his negative feelings. It was fascinating to see. From my point of view of course, because I didn't want to be anyone else in this room at that moment. I was on his side, they were just as screwed as can be. Well, if Mello made it, which I hoped for really, really hard.

I managed to straighten slightly, and Mello's eyes and mines connected. They held such a determination that I felt contaminated, and silently told him to use me if he needed, to forget about my weak heart and just take what he needed from me. I had long understood that I was busted, and that I'd give my life anyway. The only one that would regret me was the one I could maybe save, so it was worth it. Nothing in this life appealed to me anymore except the idea of Mello alive. This place, this world was fucked up and I didn't fit here anyway.

"Boss, we have to take him away, now." Gennaro said, as the lights flickered and all computers shut off. Everything was being transferred on the generator since all electric systems were failing and all we had left working were light and an emergency phone.  
"I'm sorry sir," one of the security guys began, looking at the boss, "Won't the alien be even more angry after he's gone?" pointing at me with his chin.  
The boss seemed to think for two or three seconds, staring at me in the meanwhile.  
"He won't have another choice than to calm down, he can't be doing that forever." Boss replied, his eyes going from me to Mello, "Jon, help the security and get him out."  
But when Jon tried to pull me on my feet, he raised his hands all of a sudden, taking one step backward and away from me.  
"Woah whoa! What was that?" he shouted, fear starting to spread on his face.

_That_ was the double beating resounding so strongly in me that my whole body beat with it. Mello had hesitated, all his little expressions telling me he was too afraid to harm me, but he also wanted to protect me from them. I could feel my ears pound, my bones rattle, my blood pump, even my skin was having hammering goosebumps. It was impossible for Jon not to have felt it as he was holding my arms.  
I smirked, still not tearing my eyes off Mello's. Not bragging so much now Jon, huh?  
I got back on my feet but then I heard a click. I instinctively looked where it came from, breaking eyes contact with Mello.

Holy shit... The boss was aiming his gun at me. That was getting pretty serious now.  
I realised at that moment how much they meant to preserve the security of the experiment. I could understand that, I mean, it was a big thing to have an alien here, and all the risks related to the population knowing about it, or the information reaching the medias, hell, it would be a worldwide panic. Still, that was the least of my concerns. I didn't want them to pursue the experiments, period.  
Now was my time to repay Mello.

"Jeevas, either you follow the guards or I shoot you, you choose. I won't endanger this project for the sake of your feelings. Stop acting stupid and leave." his eyes were begging me to do as he said, but they also quickly showed that he knew I wasn't close to obey. He wasn't human to the slightest, even if I had had a little hope before. He was just a coward, a filthy and greedy coward. At least Jon wasn't hiding who he was, as much as a bastard he was. But the boss was a lot more disgusting, because he did everything in people's back, not letting them see that he was tricking them until it was too late.  
"No." I took a step backward, closer to the cubicle, "Go ahead, keep on walking on any sense of humanity you have, kill me. I'm sure you'll feel a lot better after that."  
Point: Matt.  
The boss faltered and began to lower his gun. That's the good thing with cowards, their courage is non existent. And this one would never have the balls to shoot someone.

But Jon apparently would have (not that it was surprising), and he swiftly took the firearm from the boss' hand.  
Now Jon was aiming at me, and I didn't bother say anything. All was lost on him. His eyes had a nasty glow and it didn't bode anything well. That looked much like a power-induced high to me. Put a gun in the hands of a macho, and he will want to play with it like he'd play with his dick. It probably felt as good to him as masturbation.

The sound of the cubicle shaking increased dramatically. I turned around, wanting to look at Mello, and heard the shot in my back. I was on the floor in no time, hands on my head. Not that it would have saved me if Jon had actually aimed right, I'd be dead even before I moved, but he was fortunately a terrible shooter and the bullet ricocheted against the cubicle with a spark before getting lost somewhere in the room, making everyone panic. No one got hurt, fortunately (or not), and the cubicle didn't (to my dismay) even have the smallest scratch. Shark tank I tell you.

And then it happened so fast... Jon shot again, totally carried away in his hysteria, missed again, the bullet lodging itself in the wall, and suddenly, with a deafening crash, the cubicle exploded in a million shards.


	13. Chapter 13

I didn't have time to react, someone curled over me as the pieces of glass fell around us. The warmth of the body protecting my own was so high that I immediately knew it was Mello. The transparent needles-like bits of glass were ringing as they hit the floor, and I could hear everyone scream, mixed with the already ear-tearing sound of the rain of shards. It seemed endless to me, but it eventually stopped.

Mello uncurled but he pulled me along, making me straighten with him. I had my back against his chest, and looked around us. We were in the middle of a circle that was totally clear of any shard. Mello had created a barrier so we wouldn't get hurt, and he was still protecting me as he surveyed the room with his eyes, his arms holding me like a lifeline. Everyone was bleeding. The amount of broken glass was impressive, and I realised that one of the guards and Jon were lying on the floor unconscious, pooling in their own blood. The others weren't in a good shape either but they were still able to move around, and the other guard called for help with his walkie-talkie. Some of the shards were quite big and I wouldn't have minded if one had pierced through Jon's chest. I had never wished anyone's death, but I'd gladly kill him if he wasn't already dead. I wouldn't check, though, he could bleed as much as he wanted, that wasn't my problem.

Suddenly Mello jumped on his feet and, grabbing my hand, started to run. He didn't seem to be affected by it, but I had a hard time following without falling, my feet tripping and sliding on broken glass. I was lucky none stuck in the rubber soles of my converses.  
The door crushed on the floor, out of its hinges, Mello didn't even stop, it just fell flat with one blow and we stepped on it and crossed the corridor, still running.  
Alarms were wailing all around us but the people that could have stopped us in this area were all in the office, bleeding, so we had the way free until we reached the parking in the back of the building. We had the time to get out before another security team came. I was simply picturing the way out mentally, and Mello knew where to go just by holding my hand.

We reached the exit leading to the outdoor metal stairs going down to the parking. The door didn't resist more than the first and crashed on the concrete a few meters down, at the feet of the stairs. Mello stopped.  
"My... where is my..." Mello didn't know the word he wanted to use but I understood that he wanted to know where his spaceship was. I could tell he was in panic because he wasn't thinking about searching in my brain for the right word.  
"We can't go there Mello, they would get us before we even enter the hangar. That's too dangerous, we have to get away from here, now." I tugged on his hand, my car was not very far and we didn't have the time to ponder over this.  
Mello stared at me a few seconds and followed me. There was fear in his eyes.  
Hell, there was a lot to be scared of, they were ready to shoot me and now I was on the run with their precious alien...

We reached for my car, fast, and soon I was driving at breakneck speed to get out of town. Going to my apartment was out of the question, and I had barely took a few minutes to retrieve as much cash as I could with my credit card before we left for greener grass. This way, I had at least some money to survive and wouldn't have to use my card and risk to get located later. Damn debit limit didn't allow me more than five hundred bucks, but I couldn't complain, that was already a lot. I also filled the gas tank while we were still in town and grabbed as much food I could carry in my arms at the station, throwing everything in the trunk. The tracks I would leave would never be enough for them to follow us.

Now, we were on a desert road, with only my Camaro's headlights tearing the darkness. I glanced at Mello, trying to relax now that we weren't in immediate danger (which was pretty relative since I didn't know what would become of us now), and even if I still could feel my stomach wring in anxiety, I wasn't holding my breath anymore, forgetting to breathe properly.  
He was tensed, so tensed, it broke my heart to see him so scared. I reached for his hand, taking it in mine. I wasn't really feeling good about the situation myself but I wanted to comfort him anyway. He replied to the pressure of my fingers, then took my hand in both his. They were so warm, I suddenly wanted to hold him against me, to feel his body heat against as much of my own body as possible. Somehow the idea felt soothing.  
Mello started slightly and stared at me. I realised a bit too late that he probably knew about my current thoughts, and I felt bad. He was scared, we were running away without even knowing where to go, what to do, maybe we'd be dead by tomorrow, and I was thinking about him this way... talk about good timing.

But he didn't look angry or resentful. He was just scrutinising me with the few light from my full beams reaching the vehicle's interior. In that light, he looked more like a frail teenager than the powerful alien that he was. I knew what he could do, and that was amazing, but right now I was feeling so protective over him... he was stronger than me, he was the one that had saved himself, and me at the same time, I felt just like a useless weight to him, but still, I was feeling like I could erase the worldwide population just so he was safe...  
"Matt... You...", he seemed to think and I felt him press my hand a bit more. He was searching for the words in me. "You feel like mother". He whispered.  
I looked at him, probably with a dumb expression.  
He smiled weakly: "What feels inside you. Like my mother."

I had no words to reply to that. What do you say to someone who can read you just by holding your hand, and thinks you're having the same feelings toward him than his mother used to have? Was it good, even? I supposed because he was smiling, but I wasn't sure I wanted him to see me like a protective mother, because that was as far as possible from the nature of the feelings I had for him.

I stopped. I had been driving for five hours in a row and I couldn't anymore. As much as I wanted, my back was hurting, my eyes way too tired and it was starting to be dangerous, I didn't want to risk a car crash. We both had too much things going on until now, it was time for a little rest. It was still dangerous not to be moving but well, a choice had to be made...  
Mello let go of my hand so I could use it for the gear lever, and soon, we were in complete darkness. No motor sound, no headlights, nothing but the light sound of us still sat in the vehicle.

"Mello, how do you... survive? I mean, do you eat?" I broke the uncomfortable silence.  
"Yes. Not now. We... I... stock up?" Even in the dark I knew he was looking at me for approval on his choice of words, and I took his hand so he could search by himself. "On Emaghi we receive once... once in year supply, we swallow, we stock up."  
That explained why he'd been living without eating since he'd arrived on Earth although I had a hard time imagining how he could stock up so much. I didn't even have the time to ask, that was the good thing with Mello, he knew what crossed my mind. I had to be careful with that though.  
"We receive pills. Everything in the pills. Body uses what needs only. No trash."  
These two last words were the response to my last thought, and I chuckled because of the mental image I just had and that Mello explained. They didn't poop because there was nothing to poop, they assimilated the pills completely.  
"What is in the pills?" that was intriguing, to say the least.  
"Weed. Water weed."  
"You mean seaweed?" I opened wide eyes as Mello replied positively. So the theory of the Manna machine may be true?  
"Yes. It works like in your mind." Mello replied.  
I laughed nervously: "Mello I'm afraid to use my brain now because you reply to my questions even before I can actually ask them."  
"Sorry." Mello's voice sounded apologetic and this is not what I had meant. I held his hand tighter, and instinctively let my thumb caress the back of it. I almost let out a squeal, that I fortunately refrained because that would have been really embarrassing, when I suddenly felt an escalating beat course from his hand to my own and through my whole body, before he retrieved his hand quickly.  
Although I could barely see him, I stared in his direction, wondering what it was. It was different from anything he'd done before, I was feeling his increased heartbeat through me. It was not echoing with mine, it was some kind of uncontrolled wave emanating from him.

"I'll grab something in the trunk, be right back." I needed to breathe, to get some space before I did something I would regret. Being stuck together in this mess didn't mean I should take my chance with him. That wasn't respectful of him, and I didn't want to lower myself to the level of the ones we were running away from by projecting my own fantasies on him. He didn't need that right now, he had gone through enough shit already.

I heard the door on his side open a few seconds after I exited the car. I briefly felt worried that he'd run away from me but that was probably a stupid thought, and I heard his steps come my way as I was opening the trunk anyway.  
The faint light casting from the inside of the car, automatically lighting on with the trunk opening, lessened my nervousness. I could see his face, and he didn't look so scared anymore. That was good. There was still a lot to be scared of, but if we could just forget it for a while, that would be better. I'd think more easily of a way to get out of this crappy situation.

"Matt." Mello seemed to make a habit of pronouncing my name, and just that. I loved it, I have to admit. It made me feel important to him.  
"What happens if you eat something else than your pills?" I asked, as I was opening a pack of Kitkats. I could live on Kitkats. And Dr Pepper. Which I had in the trunk too, along with real food because I'd eventually have to be careful to stay healthy, with my heart. It was probably the first time that my health mattered to me, but then I had to stay alive for now.  
"Sick." Well, that made sense, if he had never eaten anything else than algae pills.  
"How long before you need more pills?" I suddenly hoped that wasn't the next problem that would occur.  
"Four months." Okay, at least we were safe concerning that, for now at least. But I didn't believe we'd make it that long anyway. I was already surprised that there weren't helicopters and stuff after us yet.

"The smell. I like the smell." Mello smiled, pointing at the bar I was eating.  
"You also have a pretty good sense of smell." I chuckled. He was superior in every area, and I realised that I had now full latitude to know more about him. But right now, Mello seemed interested in my chocolate treat. A lot.  
"I would gladly let you have one but I don't want you to be sick."  
Mello grabbed my wrist and brought my hand holding the Kitkat bar to his nose. He seemed in extasy.  
"You really seem to enjoy the smell of chocolate, don't you?"  
Mello let go of my hand and smiled to me again, before taking my other hand in his: "It's... lohim. I don't find similar word in your language."  
"Divine." I uttered the word without thinking. I don't know why, it seemed accurate to me.  
"Why you believe God?" Mello suddenly asked.  
"I don't... but I suppose you mean it generally?" How on Earth had we gone from chocolate to religion? I supposed that Mello couldn't translate the word in his language because there simply was no such word in his language. So, reading me, he was trying to understand divine and what was around the meaning of such a word, taking it literally because he got interested in the concept.  
"Yes. Earth people believe God exists. Why? How do you believe... although it's not true? All proof against it and you believe." Mello didn't seem skeptical, he was completely categorical.  
"I don't know, people probably need some entity to turn to for strength and support, it comforts them."  
"People comfort people, no need God."  
It was a simple view of things, but Mello was pretty accurate in his judgement. Maybe if people cared more about each other, we wouldn't fight each other, and over religions and shit. But I felt that he also knew things we didn't know about. If believing in God seemed strange to him, then his race probably knew for sure that God was as real as a unicorn's fart.

"I want to... taste chocolate." He said with a saddened voice. Somehow, Mello's innocence was really sinking into me. He was jumping from a subject to another, and after almost making it clear that God didn't exist, was now just wishing he could eat chocolate. He was all at once a wonder, a superior being, and a child...

I don't know what got into me, but the next second, my hands were creeping on each sides of Mello's face, and softly, I kissed him.


	14. Chapter 14

_**Note:** Chapter 14 and I'm still not over with this fic, so I stop with estimations, I'm really the worst at that XD  
_  
_It's Sunday so I'm giving you a break with evil cliffies, and a bit (ok, a LOT) of fluff.  
_  
_Thank you for all the amazing reviews, let me know your favourite parts, and if something is confused, maybe I need to explain more things, you tell me! (More on Emaghi will come in further chapters, don't worry, I just want to make sure that for now my explanations through alien!Mello are clear.)_

_Oh, and whatever topic is brought up here, God, religion, homosexuality and stuff, don't feel offended, it's a fic, I'm just giving my characters a depth, it has nothing to do with a propaganda of my own ideas. I do believe certain things but I'm not trying to shove them to your face here, so stay cool :)_

* * *

I withdrew almost immediately. What was I doing?!  
Mello was looking at me, the light coming from the car reflecting in his eyes, making it hard for me to read his face, along with darkness. His lips were slightly parted, and he brought his fingers to them, slowly. If that had been hard to withdraw, now it was even harder not to kiss him again.

So much for not throwing myself at him... I had initially just wanted to find a way to make him taste chocolate but it was a stupid thought, it was way too intimate to do it like this.  
"I'm sorry, I... I don't know what got through me, I'm sorry Mello."  
"Is it a kiss?" he asked genuinely, not the slightest disturbed what I had just done, apparently.  
"Well... yes... no... it wasn't supposed to be, I mean..." I didn't even know what I meant, but he caught my drift pretty quickly, which was for once very useful because I could never explain that. I was all at once ashamed of what I had done, and a bit turned on and emotional because it still was a kiss, no matter the purpose.

But Mello was smiling. A smile wider than what I had seen on his features before.  
"Chocolate kiss." his smile turned shy and oh, the way he looked at me. I melted.  
"Yeah, that was a stupid idea, I know... you seemed to want to know the taste so badly, I should have thought before I acted." I sat on the border of the open trunk, feeling my legs give in.  
Mello approached, and sat beside me, so close our arms were touching.  
"No. Not thinking is good." Was that his way of telling me that he actually liked the kiss?  
I looked at him. Where we sat, the light coming from the inside of the car was almost blocked by the trunk's door open above our heads. Only his hair glistened like a silver halo, and in the night, I decided that he was the closest thing to God that had ever existed to me.

"Lohim." I whispered, taking his hand and intertwining his fingers with mines. I wanted to say the words caught in my throat, but I was unable to. But he would understand. They were in my mind. In my heart. He would understand.  
I felt his fingers tighten around mines, holding me strong. He never seemed to be taken aback or annoyed by our physical contacts. We didn't know each other and still it felt natural, he didn't know human codes and stuff and he accepted everything I did. I wanted it to be because he loved me back, but I didn't want to walk on that thin ice, because once it would break, my heart would break with it.

But suddenly the same thing as earlier happened. This time though, Mello didn't withdraw his hand. On the contrary, he brought my own hand to his chest, and, his head tilted down, he held it against himself with both his, and the beating was so strong, coursing through my fingers, my hand, my arm. It was regular, though quite faster than the usual rate, and I knew he was telling me something in response to what he had just read in me. He wasn't using my heart, he wasn't endangering me, it was just him, his own beating heart. Beating faster because of me. That's what he was telling me.

All of a sudden Mello let go of my hand and his arms encircled my waist, his head resting in the crook of my neck. My breath caught in my throat with the shock, and the want. I had wanted this so bad, I mean, feeling that he wanted me too, that he made the initial move for something more intimate. A hug was more than enough for me right now, because everything with him was heightened to a point that I could hardly take it anyway. Call me a softie if you want, but find true love with someone that can practically put his own feelings inside of you and we'll talk about it again after that.

I snaked my arms around his shoulders, holding him as tight as I could without smothering him, my nose in his hair. This was the first time I could get a hold of his very own scent. It wasn't so different from humans, even if I still wondered how he kept clean without washing and would have to ask him sometime. But it was his, unique, and it was all I needed just now. Nothing else but having him here in my arms counted, especially with how desperate his hold on me was. He seemed scared to see me leave.

My hand crept in his hair, and I caressed the top of his head. Like my mother used to do with me.  
"Apples." Mello murmured, the air he exhaled while speaking hot on my skin, making me shiver of pleasure.  
I laughed.  
"Yes, apples. I still owe you one." I replied, remembering my promise and the apple probably rotting in the drawer of my office desk, that I didn't have time to give him.  
Mello retrieved his left arm to let his hand rest on my heart. The warmth of his palm told me he was checking on me.  
"Don't worry, I'm fine, I'm just happy to be with you, that's why it beats faster." I reassured him.

He straightened, leaving the crook of my neck, and looked at me.  
"I mate you." his smile was so bright, and at the same time so hopeful, and I was speechless.  
His smile vanished when he didn't hear me reply or do anything else for that matter. But I was unable to. The idea was slowly sinking in me, I was trying to process the fact that Mello had just claimed me and that it felt like being taken over by a storm and walking on sunshine and floating on a cloud all at once. But the happiness in me probably resulted in my face adorning the dumbest expression possible. Damn, it was a proposal, no matter the words!

"Are you sure?" was all that came out of my mouth. Dumbass. I was a dumbass. Mello kind of tells me he loves me and all I answer is _are you sure? _Mello wants me and my rational mind analyses all options for him. Dumbass, dumbass, dumbass. If there was a wall somewhere, I'd bang my head against it until I bleed right now.  
"Why?" he asked, sadness overtaking his eyes.  
But no matter how much I wanted to, I had to make sure he knew what he was doing. It was not only for me and my rational mind that wanted to know for sure that he wouldn't change his mind, but because it was the most important thing for him. He had come on Earth for this, so it'd better be perfect. More than having my own heart broken, I could never live with myself knowing that I would have broken his at some point, when he would have realised that he had made a mistake choosing me.

"I mean, I'm not a girl Mello. Are you sure this is what you want? I won't give you babies. Well, I don't even know if humans and... Emaghi people can procreate, but at least here on Earth, two men can't. I just want to make sure that you are aware of that, because this is a big deal if you came from so far and don't get what you went through so much for..."  
Mello's face lit up: "I want. I am sure. I want love, not babies."  
"This, I can give you." I whispered, relieved that I had made things clear on that point. There was still another topic bugging me and I decided to get rid of that too, "Mello... I need to ask you something... would you have loved someone else, given that someone else was kind to you? I mean, do you want to mate me because I was the only one nice to you?" There you go. I was scared shitless to hear an answer I wouldn't like, because I was too far gone now and I would feel like killing myself if the answer was yes.

"Matt." Mello stood up, pulling me on my feet with him, and he faced me, holding my hands in his, probably to find his words better, "Matt. I see Earth from Emaghi. I see people kiss. Love. Copulate without love. Woman with man. Woman with woman. Man with man. I understand. I want love. Not first person. Right person. I see your mates before. No love. I... try... to know all from you, and I see inside you. I am not sure before, now I am sure. I feel you want me, first days, but I am not sure me I want you. I look in you, and it's pure. Others bad, you are pure. You are right for me. I don't choose you, I love you against my... my will."

Now I understood the strange way Mello looked at me sometimes. He knew right from the beginning what I felt for him, and that probably puzzled him, since he had never experienced the feeling of love. He knew about my past relationships too apparently. That was quite embarrassing but he was right, there had never been love. Not that I had never been in love, but it's a non lasting feeling compared to love itself. Damn, he knows more about me than I thought. Actually, he knows everything... Did he really see everything? Even the most intimate parts of my life and relationships?

He was getting better and better with English, even if it was probably difficult to get all the grammar rules and stuff, especially in such an emotional moment and while he was already trying to find the right vocabulary.  
But the last part of what he said...  
"Mello, you didn't want to love me?" That was pretty confused. I was glad that he could understand me without me having to dumb down my speech, but the fact that he mainly spoke in short sentences and present form didn't help me grasp everything he wanted to say.  
"No. First I don't want. Not because you are male. I don't care. But because you are kind with me. Maybe you are good because you want me. I see that on Earth. You call it lie. I don't want lie, so I am... careful. But you are strong for me. No. You feel strong for me. More, more. And I also feel love after days, I don't want, but it can't go away. I... what word... I... discover love. I learn the feeling, love. I come for love but I am scared with love in me, it is strong, I am unused. I change, I love you more, because you are pure. You... no lie, no bad, even with past. Always good person. I try not love you, I... need escape. When I see you, I want to stay. No good. Better I don't love you. But my heart beats loud, it is more each time. And... beautiful. I like to see you. Hair, eyes, everything you have, I like. I fight but me... my... body wants you. My heart beats, my body wants, I can't fight. I understand love more. People can't fight love. So I know. I mate you. Because I find no one like you. I don't search, no need, I know. My... you call it soul. My soul knows. I don't have a soul before, you give me a soul."

By the time he was over explaining, I was in tears. He had done more than reassure me. The simplicity of his fucked-up English emphasized the child-like sincerity in his words. There was no game, no beating around the bush, no seduction game. Just two persons finding each other in that terrible world. Meant for each other. Except that one had travelled light years for the beautiful, the real love. It was only fair that he got it. And I was the lucky winner of the greatest love ever. I had a hard time believing that he could find me attractive and worth of him, him, this being that was the seven wonders by himself alone... I felt insignificant beside him.

I let his hands go, closing the small distance between him and me, and put my arms around his neck, pulling him to me in a hug. I realised that he was an inch taller than me. He replied to the embrace, his arms around my waist, and I could feel his heart against my chest. It was warm and strong and soft at the same time, his hair tickling my nose, his breath against my skin. Mello was giving me a senses overdrive and I felt like a sissy, crying so much over how beautiful it was, all that was happening to me... but I couldn't help it, even the best fairytale could never match. And I cried also because this wasn't meant to last, and it was an awful feeling. It always seems that the most beautiful stories have to have a tragic end, because the world can't handle it. That rotten planet can't take it so it has to destroy it.

I wiped my tears with the back of my hand, and gave a weak smile to Mello, who was starting to look worried.  
I wanted to mate him, or whatever it could be called. I wanted everything I could get out of this, time wasn't on our side and I'd live this fully to the last day.  
"And what do people on Emaghi do to mate?" I asked. If it had to be official, we could as well make it Mello's way, "Do you have a special ritual or traditions or something?"  
Mello was the one to look at me dumbfoundedly this time.  
"Yes, but... you don't want it." he replied.  
"What do you mean? You don't think I want to mate you?"  
"No. I say you don't want Emaghi mating." Mello shook his head.  
"I don't know how you do it, so you will have to explain to me." I smiled, pulling him to the car, "Let's sit inside."


	15. Chapter 15

_**Note:** Grab your tissues XD_

* * *

We reached the backseat, it was a lot more comfortable, and I was starting to feel cold anyway. As for Mello, he didn't seem to be affected by the temperature.

I found myself sat at Mello's right, fiddling with my fingers nervously because it felt really weird at first. Seriously, it looked like being a teenager again, freshly in possession of a driving license and hoping to lose my virginity on the backseat of my parents' car. That's when the question started to burn my lips, but it was a big thing to ask, and I didn't want to make Mello uncomfortable or think that I had this in mind when I told him to seat here. I was genuinely thinking that we'd be more at ease to talk. And cuddle, okay I admit it. Until now. Now I was just afraid that he read my mind because that wasn't so innocent anymore in my head. Blame me. I had Beauty personified next to me, I was in love, as deeply as possible, that was a natural reaction, right? Right?

"Tell me, how do you mate?" I asked again, relieving my own tension by redirecting my thoughts in another direction.  
Mello seemed reluctant to talk about it at first.  
"Don't worry, it's just to know, I won't ask you to do the same, I promise." If he was worried over that, then at least he'd know I was just being curious. Hell, I had so much to learn about him! It's not as if I could read his mind, I didn't have his capacities. I was already happy that he could make me feel what he felt, it was really big.

"When man and woman reach twenty-five both, Anemehod, our... president, or king... not sure... Anemehod takes them into mating centre. They sleep... what word... doctor make them sleep. Man semen is taken, prepared for girl or boy and into woman. Anemehod marks them. When they wake up they go home to parents each. When woman gives birth, man and woman start live together in... breed centre. Like apartments together."  
My eyes were as big as saucers. That was totally weird to me, I just couldn't imagine a whole planet doing that, no feelings, no love, no sex, no contact. Just sterilised procreation.  
"But what if the woman isn't pregnant the first time, do they do that again until it works?" I tried to understand the details.  
"It works first time, always." Mello replied, "Not like humans, I understand."  
"And the woman spends her pregnancy with her parents, not with her mate?"  
"Yes."

"You say Ane...mehod? He marks them, how?"  
"Similar to what you call tattoo. Mark is made here." Mello showed me the inside of his elbow.  
"So once the child is born, they raise him together in a kind of apartment surrounded by other couples, and then the kid is twenty-five and he or she mates, and once with a child he or she leaves, what do the parents do?"  
"Yes, it is like that. Then the parents die."  
"What?"  
"Work, procreate, raise children until twenty-five, die, that is all. Except me. I don't procreate, so I only work."  
"You're twenty-five, right?"  
"Yes."

"Okay... Do couples have several children?"  
"No, only one. Except mother of boy that was born in my place the year after me so girl that I don't mate has a mate. They make an exception because it is needed."  
"But there must be more old people than young, at this rate?"  
"Yes. But it is wanted. For sake of our resources. When we reach correct number, Anemehod says who can have two children. Now we are too many on Emaghi."  
That was just worse than any science-fiction movie I had ever seen...

"But how do old ones die, all at the same age?"  
"On Emaghi people die when they are around fifty, this is the marking."  
"You really have to explain because I don't understand. At all." I was really confused now.  
"The marking... tattoo, it is toxic ink. It stays same approximatively fifteen years, then when Emaghi people get older, after forty usually, skin gets... harder... no... like more dense, and ink molecules are broken by skin... strength. Toxic ink is into the body and lifespan is around ten years after that. Skin has been improved genetically, stronger, but after forty, problem, it becomes too strong. But Anemehod takes advantage of that to... regulate population."  
"You are telling me that death is programmed?" That was so sick!  
"Yes. It is for population balance. Works good."  
"And no one has a moral problem with that? I mean, no one ever opposed?"  
"No. It is normal."

Well, the normality was relative, but how could I judge. Humans weren't better.  
"So, you didn't mate, so you have no tattoo?" At least I was relieved thinking about that aspect of things.  
"No, I have no marking."  
"What if you had stayed on Emaghi?"  
"Emaghi people say I need marking too because I need to die at fifty but marking without mating is impossible. Too strong ritual, too sacred. Anemehod makes new rule for me after some time thinking."  
I looked at Mello, and even in the darkness I saw the anger passing in his eyes, his traits tensing suddenly.  
"Which rule?" I asked, taking his hand in mine.  
"Anemehod says I am... put down."  
I felt a pang in my chest. Euthanasia? Really? Mello's planet seemed more and more of a very cold, formatted and unwelcoming place the more he talked about it, but euthanasia for fuck's sake! But something intrigued me in this shocking revelation: Mello was angry about it. He obviously didn't think it was normal.  
"It makes you mad." I simply stated.  
"Mother dead because of that."  
"What do you mean?" I could feel it was a sensitive topic, and held his hand a bit tighter.  
"I tell mother I want love like her, she cries, she tells me I hide it because Anemehod angry with me when he knows. No feelings for no one. No contact. This is the rule for the system to be good. But Anemehod sees me, my eyes, he knows. I am looking at Earth at my work, in the..."  
"Telescope?" I help him because he's obviously carried away by his emotions, and has a hard time finding the word.  
"Yes. I look in the telescope and I see Earth, and love, I want for a long time but I want more and more, and guard sees my face, my eyes, and he knows I want. Like you, the feelings I see on your face. He tells Anemehod." Mello gestures at his own face.  
"But you didn't do anything wrong? I mean, even if you have feelings, as long as you do nothing, what can be wrong?"  
"I am wrong. It is added to my... condition? I have no mate, no father, no abilities, no good... statistics. And I show feelings, I don't have the right to feel, it is a risk. They visit mother and they tell her that Anemehod has made rule to put me down because I am not good. She says nothing in front of Anemehod, she can't show feelings. But at home I find her dead after work. She is sick because of ink for a long time but shock of me put down kills her. So I leave. I steal starship and I leave."

I didn't want to cut Mello while he spoke even if I had a thousand questions, he was speaking fast and was obviously moved to have to talk about that. I didn't know that Anemehod but I wanted to punch him.  
"Mello, if you don't want to talk about it anymore I'll understand, but... what do you mean when you talk about abilities and statistics? You have a lot of abilities that we humans don't have, you know..."  
"I am... not tall. Emaghi men taller, a lot. I am born too soon, too frail, I am not strong like other Emaghi men. I am shame for mother and race. And I have no father. It's father who shows how to use abilities. No one to show me so I don't have abilities. Until I am on Earth. I discover them but I don't control them."

I straightened in the seat to face Mello.  
"Mello, I don't know how men look like on Emaghi, but on Earth, you're probably the most beautiful being ever. And anyway, I think it's wrong on so many levels the way you've been treated. I can't say that the same doesn't happen on Earth, because we have our own lot of judgemental jerks, and genocide and all that shit, but it's not everyone fortunately. And you could have three eyes, I'd still love you." I chuckled, trying to bring a smile to Mello's lips, because it killed me to see him so sad.  
"Mother never say I am beautiful. She always have to say to Anemehod she is sorry for making me."  
That was hard. I'm pretty sure his mother loved him, a lot, and only tried to protect him from the rules, but I could understand how it must have felt to him.  
"And you abilities... how does it work with fathers showing to their child and all?"  
"Father... teaches communication and protection and everything but I have no father so I don't know. I think I can't because I am weak. But on Earth I do it suddenly, so I try more and it happens more. But I don't control all, it is difficult."  
"I see... it seems to be stronger when you're angry or in panic though..."  
"Yes. I don't understand."  
Damn, he could probably do a lot more than what I had witnessed until now. Fascinating.

We kept silent for a minute, I didn't know if Mello wanted to talk more, it was already a lot of informations.  
"Are you tired, Mello?"  
"No. Not tired. But you are."  
"Yes." I laughed softly. I'd never be able to hide anything to him, "But I'm okay, we can still talk if you want to."  
"I don't want to talk." Mello stated, but he was smiling at me, and he gave me that look again, the one that made me melt a little earlier. I realised that he wanted to actually say something, but he didn't seem to dare. I wish I could read his mind as well as he read mine...  
"What is it Mello?" I smiled back, encouraging him to speak his mind, but he simply touched my lips with the tip of his fingers, softly. It was tickling me but at the same time it was so fucking erotic. Damn, I know it was innocent coming from him, but I was having some problems with my hormones all of a sudden.  
"Matt." It was almost a sigh. It was like a mantra, the way he said it. I felt it like a spell taking me over.  
I grabbed his hand delicately, and started to kiss his fingers. His smile vanished, leaving place to concentration. He was giving what I was doing his full attention, his lips slightly parted, his eyes never leaving my lips.  
I then kissed his palm, his wrist, and moved up to the crook of his elbow, leaving my lips a bit longer there.  
"I mate you Mello." I let his hand go and grabbed his face between my palms, pushing a few golden strands away from his eyes, "I give you my invisible tattoo, and now you're mine." I winked at him. He looked happy, and snaked his arms around my waist, snuggling against me. I let my back fall against the seat, pulling him with me, my arms around him, my cheek resting on the top of his head.

"I love you Mello." I held him tighter, depositing a kiss on his forehead. I suddenly felt beats against me. All his body seemed to resonate against my chest.  
"No same sentence in my language." He hid his face in my chest. I could feel it made him sad.  
"You don't need to say it." I whispered, "I can feel it."  
Softly, I grabbed his chin, pulling it up, and searched for his eyes. He looked very, very attentive. I tilted my head and, stopping midway, I asked him: "Can I kiss you?"  
I almost burst out laughing at his reply: "Chocolate kiss?"  
"No, just Matt kiss..." I answered, caressing his cheek with the back of my fingers, a bit worried that it didn't appeal to him without the chocolate.  
He smiled to me so sweetly, looking up at me with his beautiful big eyes, I felt a surge of possessiveness. Put that angel to sleep... anyone would have to kill me first...  
"Yes. Yes kiss me." he insisted, seeing my hesitation, he seemed to really want it, and I was in heaven.

I bent to peck at his lips softly at first. It was quite strange to know that he could read my mind and learn even how to kiss, but truth is, that was the most amazing kiss I've ever had. He was replying to it shyly at first, tentatively mimicking what I was doing to him. We were so synchronised, it was crazy. No awkward biting, teeth knocking, I was sucking at his lips and him mines, but I was really surprised when I felt his tongue caress my lower lip. I slid mine between his parted lips, and he stopped still for a split second before I felt his own tongue against mine, soft, then more and more daring. At some point I could tell he wasn't reading me anymore, his breath was becoming faster, the kiss was a deep exchange with mouths pressed as much as they could, and he was gripping my shoulder so hard it almost hurt. But I didn't care, all I could process was _OMG I am kissing Mello!_

I don't know how long it lasted, but I didn't want to let go, and Mello was so into the kiss that it made me want even more of the wet exchange. But Mello suddenly broke the kiss, looking at me with a shocked expression, panting.

* * *

_**Note:** I almost cut the chapter after 'I was in heaven' but decided to give you the kiss part, I think I'm getting softer. Not good.  
Reviews higly appreciated because I need to know if the Emaghi stuff is clear enough for you. Let me know if there are things that need more explanations concerning mating and stuff :)_


	16. Chapter 16

_**Note:** After the fluff, the crack XD  
_  
_Thank you everyone for the amazing reviews, here and on my other fics, the MxM section is a lot more active lately and I love it! It's good to see it back, it reminds me of my early times here in 2009 :)_  
_Keep reading, reviewing (not only me but everyone's fics), posting your owns, don't let this section die again!_  
_Oh, and if you haven't already, please join us on my FB page for some more MxM goodness and chat! Check link on my profile :)_

_This chapter is dialog-heavy, there was a lot to explain, and I trapped myself with the touching thing so I needed to make it clearer to you otherwise it would have been obvious that I was being contradictory. I hope the explanations are credible and that I managed to get myself out of the mess I created... XD_

* * *

"Wha... Mello, what's wrong?" I asked, wondering if I had done (or thought, more precisely) something wrong.  
"I... it's..." Mello was looking at me with wide eyes and a semi frightened, semi puzzled face, "I don't understand." he looked down, and I thought at first that he was just not wanting to look at me, but realised he was actually looking down, I mean at his crotch.  
"It's... different. I feel something. I don't understand. It's... I don't know the words..." He took my hand, trying to find them in me, "Sex?"

I froze for a few seconds, I didn't know if I should laugh or facepalm.  
"Mello..." How should I ask that... damn, that was embarrassing, "Is your... I mean... is it bigger down there?"  
"Yes. It feels good. But I... inside... I feel strange. I want something, but I don't know what I want. My... belly is strange. I too want... But I can't... no permission..."  
"No permission for what?" I asked, not really catching his drift.  
"I... On Emaghi no contact, no touching others, but also no touching... me."  
"Do you mean no one has the right to touch you, or people are not allowed to touch themselves?"  
"Themselves, this is the word.", Mello explained, "People can't touch themselves, especially genitalia. It is sacred, the rules say. Only doctor can for procreation."  
"So what do you do when you have an erection Mello? When it grows bigger, it is an erection." I added some extra information because that was probably a bit difficult for him right now.  
Mello was trying to process what I had just said. The concept was abstract so words were not really the easiest way to convey the idea. But then, his silence brought a question to my lips: "Mello, you never had an... erection?"  
"No..." he replied, and he looked totally shocked still.  
Even human babies have erections, I couldn't believe it, how can someone go until twenty-five without a single one?

"It's normal Mello, don't worry. I'm gonna try to explain. You remember when you told me that you saw people copulate on Earth? Well it's what you feel when you want to copulate. When there is no love, we call that having sex, when it is between two people that love each other, we call that making love. When people kiss, sometimes it makes them want more, like sex. It's a totally normal reaction Mello. The kissing, the touching, the closeness, it can fuel the desire. The desire is the feeling in your belly."  
Hello, I'm Matt, and I'm a sex educator for aliens.

I hoped that what I said made sense, and most of all that it would calm him down because he seemed more than confused. I thought he was going to cry.  
"Mello?" I called his name softly after a long silence, he didn't seem to calm down in the least, "Tell me what's wrong, I'll explain if I can."  
"I... don't have permission to touch. But I want... I... I am not good... I tell you I am not good, like Anemehod says." Tears were rolling down his face and I wanted all at once to comfort him, explain him that it was normal, and that Anemehod was a jerk. But I could perfectly understand that you don't erase a twenty-five years old education based on sacred rules with a few words.  
"Mello, I know that you feel strongly about the rules on your planet, this is what you have lived by until now, but here on Earth it's not bad. You aren't bad. It is a normal physical reaction to stimuli, like our kiss, and it only shows that you like it. It's probably very strange to discover such sensations when you never had them before, and it's probably overwhelming, but listen to your body. Your body tells you it feels good. That's why humans have sex, it's because it feels good, there's no shame in that."  
"So it was just a rule to prevent Emaghi people to feel." Mello stated.  
It surprised me. Mello could very well put two and two together concerning those stupid rules and what they had done to him, wanting to kill him because he wasn't in the norm. That was good.

"Don't worry it will go back to normal." I reassured him.  
"With making love?" Mello asked genuinely. The question was spoken with such an innocent tone that I burst out laughing.  
"Not specifically. If you don't do anything about it, it will still go back to normal."  
I'm pretty sure that Mello would have gone all the way if I had taken advantage of the situation, but even if time wasn't on our side, that was one thing to make the best out of this story, but another one to hurry something as important as his first time, if a first time there was. I wanted him badly, and his body apparently wasn't against some further physical contact with me, but no. Not now.

I tried to reassure him even more. I think he was probably feeling the same as a teenager that has a sudden surge of hormones, and that's confusing, to say the least, when you feel sexual tension for the first time, every first time sees feelings heightened and it can be disturbing.  
"Mello... People on your planet cannot touch each other, right?" he nodded, "No taking hands and stuff... you got over that, because you really wanted it. I understand that if there is a sacred rule concerning genitalia, it's slightly different and it will take more time for you to get over it, but don't feel ashamed or bad for that, I promise, it's normal, and I'm not thinking low of you because of that. You just... have to get used to it."  
"I... my planet, we can only touch for communication, hand on arm, or palm against palm, I see Earth, I see people touch all over, I am shocked first, but people are happy. Look happy. I know what happy is, I see mother and father, even when they hide feelings. So happy is good."  
"Yes Mello, happy is good." I held him closer. It was somehow touching, the naivete of Mello's reasoning. But it was actually so untainted that I was wishing more people to be like him. Maybe we wouldn't be on the run right now, then.  
"But you saw people touch themselves too, right? And copulate, so they were also touching each other's genitalia... how did you feel about it?" I was still very intrigued about that.  
"I am shocked. I try to understand. I understand Earth is different but... On Emaghi, humans no good. We study because humans are example of degenerated civilization. Emaghi don't want to make same mistakes. But... I start understand that bad humans degenerate, not good humans. Good humans... forced to live with bad of others. We don't have happiness, not like humans. I... wonder if it is better not feel and stay forever on Emaghi, or be happy and maybe no humans one day. Because bad stronger than good, I see. But I want happiness. But touching genitalia... I don't want. Now maybe I as you say, get used to it, I don't know. It is wrong to me."  
"It's okay, Mello, I'll respect whatever you choose. I love you no matter what."  
What more could I say? Of course I wanted him but if he could never get used to it, I'd do without. Forget about going all the way, that wasn't even close to happen...

"We'd better get some sleep now." I whispered, making myself comfortable against the corner of the back seat, my left leg resting on the seat, Mello snuggling on my chest, his body resting between my legs. I realised how lucky I was that he still wanted that physical contact, because it was still not something they did on Emaghi, but not to touch him at all... that would be hell.  
I quickly fell asleep while petting his hair, I was exhausted, and Mello's warmth was a lot better than a blanket.

I was starting to wake up, I could see light through my closed eyelids, and the warmth didn't come from Mello only so I supposed that the sun had made an appearance. I sighed, savouring the feeling of Mello lightly moving in my arms, that is, until he jerked back and I heard a loud thud as his head hit the ceiling of the car.  
I slid in the seat to sit straighter, looking at him with eyes still clouded by sleep, blinking because of the sunlight, trying to understand the reason of this sudden reaction.  
Mello was sitting on the other end of my car's back seat, doing his best not to touch me.  
"Mello?" I asked, "Are you okay?"  
"Yes." he simply replied. But I could tell something was wrong, and if it wasn't him, it was me.

Oh... Hello morning wood... Okay, now I was getting a better picture of the problem. Mello had been snuggling against me and had accidentally touched it while moving a little earlier, and the Emaghi 'no touch' rule was still strongly anchored in his habits.  
"Mello, come here." I held out my hand to him, but he hesitated, "It's okay Mello, it's not a problem if you touch me. And it was an accident anyway so you really have no reason to be afraid."  
He relaxed a bit.  
"It's a normal reaction, men, humans I mean, usually have an erection in the morning. It's physiological. It has something to do with sleep and hormones, to make it short." I didn't want to explain in details, I didn't have the fibre of a biology teacher, even if that was somehow my field. I tried to keep it simple so Mello could understand.

"So you have this every morning?" Mello asked, genuinely interested.  
"Yes, mostly."  
"And it will go away?"  
"Yes." I laughed. I wasn't so bad as a teacher apparently.  
"You don't want to copulate?"  
Well... Oh yes I would want to, but now wasn't the time to give into complicated explanations about what I wanted, what was right to do and my morning wood: "No, consider it like my body waking up."

Mello seemed to accept that explanation. I exited the car because some other body functions needed my attention. I made a few steps to reach a bush, stopped, and was about to explain this too, but Mello beat me to it.  
"I understand that." he simply said. That must have been so interesting to look at people taking a piss on Earth from his telescope... I chuckled to myself at the thought.  
I emptied my bladder, turning my back to him, and came back.  
"We'd better go, it's not safe staying at the same place for too long."  
A minute later, I was driving, munching at whatever I had grabbed in the trunk, thinking that I could use some coffee right now, Mello next to me looking at the landscape, the sky, the road, very interested.  
We had escaped at night from the centre, and I supposed that it was the first time that he was seeing Earth for real, in daylight.

"What does your planet look like?" I asked, suddenly curious. They didn't have apples, so did they have trees at least?  
"Not like that." Mello replied, not taking his eyes off the scenery, "Much more water. Pools."  
"This is the desert Mello, but we will soon reach Tucson's area, you will see much more stuff. More trees, houses, people... well I hope we can avoid people but that won't always be possible. I need a station at least." I said, looking at the fuel level approaching the last ten percent of the reservoir. That car was my baby, but a ravenous one.

I had initially thought I'd be heading south to Mexico, but the risk of being caught at the border was too high. And even in another country, I don't think we'd be safe. I just headed to somewhere else, not exactly knowing where to go. Anywhere was the same. I was still pretty amazed that we were still free, I had expected to meet the army or something at every corner. At S.E.T.I. they weren't supposed to know the direction we had taken but still, they had means to find us... Okay, it was a non governmental organisation but still... we were talking about an alien lost in nature.

The long desert road began to let place to cultivated fields that were green enough to catch Mello's attention.  
"What is is? Food?"  
"Yes, sort of. It's corn, I suppose." I wasn't really a nature person so in the distance, I could hardly tell what was growing in those fields. I could barely recognise canola in spring because of the bright yellow flowers but that was about all.

Soon we reached a small city, and I slowed down enough for Mello to look at the houses at the border of the town. A dog barked at us in the distance and Mello gave me an amused glance before looking back at the animal.  
"Dog."  
"Yep." I laughed.  
I spotted a station and parked as far as possible from the small shop after I filled the car's tank.  
"Stay here Mello, I'll be right back. There's no one here but just in case, don't open the car, don't talk to anyone. Okay?"  
Mello replied his usual "Yes."  
I winked at him, locked the car fro the outside and left to buy a few things we'd be needing later. At least I'd need some basics to stay clean, to which I added a pack of water, a few drinks, some more food, and various other little supplies. I didn't know what our escape would be like, where it would lead us. I envied Mello for that, no need to shower, he stayed clean. No need to eat. Practical during a road trip. I spotted a clothes rack at the back of the store. There wasn't much except plastic raincoats and tee shirts. I grabbed one that was plain dark green with a small 'Arizona' in white letters on the left sleeve. That would do for a change.

I went back to the car, threw everything in the trunk and sat back inside, Mello waiting patiently for me.  
I suddenly craved a cigarette. But I hadn't smoked since I had been in the hospital the last time, and that would be stupid to start again, especially with my health. Which reminded me that I had pills to take.  
I reached for them in the pocket of my hoodie forgotten on the back of my seat and swallowed one without water.  
I didn't want to stop again just for a bottle in the trunk.

Soon we passed in front of a car rental, and I had an idea. My red Camaro wasn't the most discreet car for two people on the run and as much as it broke my heart to part with it, there were things a lot more important than my cherry red possession. I kept that in the back of my head and continued to drive until I reached a motel, hoping that we'd be safe at least until the night would fall, then I'd get rid of my car. I didn't know if that was a good idea but we couldn't spend all nights in my car. If I had to take care of Mello, I'd better be at least minimally functional, not with a broken back or a lack of sleep. I was already becoming a very light sleeper because of how scared I was now, and I was not getting any weaker, I wouldn't allow myself another heart attack.

Inside the motel room, Mello was properly fascinated.


	17. Chapter 17

_**Note:** I'm updating later than usual, sorry, IRL took me away for a while XD (and **Mello aka HeavenCat** kept on distracting me, not that I'm complaining, I love that girl!)_  
_**Awesomenessknowsnobounds:** I finally will answer the questions you asked me in the next chapter, I thought it would be in this one but it ended longer than expected so the next chapter will focus on the questions :)_

* * *

I had to push Mello inside so I could close the door. He was just standing there, not knowing where to look. I could tell he had millions of questions to ask me.  
"Fire away." I chuckled, depositing the bags containing the supplies from the store on the crappy desk, and threw my hoodie on the bed. I had emptied the car since I planned on getting rid of it. The heartbreak...  
Mello looked at me, puzzled. Oh yes, better not use expressions with him...  
"What do you want to know, Mello?" I corrected.  
He didn't know himself where to start.  
"Is it your house?"  
"No, it is a motel. A place where people rent a room. Pay money to have a room, for one night or more. I don't own anything here. My apartment is in Pasadena but we're unlikely to come back there."  
"Why we don't go to your apartment?"  
"Because it's the first place where they would search for us, it's dangerous."  
"Oh. I understand. Are we far from your apartment?"  
"I live in Pasadena, this is also where you landed and where you were, where I work. We are far yes, a few hundred miles from Pasadena."  
"We don't go back to my spaceship?"  
"No, as I told you when we left the office, we can't, there are guards all over it and the alarm was on so we would have got caught, we didn't have a choice but to get away from that place."  
"Where do we go?"  
"I don't know, we just keep moving I guess."

Mello made a few steps and stopped in front of the TV that has screwed to the wall.  
"I see that." He came back to me. I was sat on the bed, looking at him exploring the room, and he stood next to me. He put his hand on my head, I know he was looking for words and my hand was out of reach, but it gave me shivers.  
"Images. Television. I see that. We don't have that. I know how it works. I make... circuit. Electronic circuit, same as television, at school. On Emaghi we have higher technology but we study yours. History of other planets. In... child school. Kindergarten."  
"Kindergarten? Wow... I'd be unable to do it now..." I laughed, "What do you have that we don't?"  
"I can't tell. You don't have the words." Mello looked at me, but he was suddenly concentrated on something else. Did aliens have ADD?  
"Soft..." he smiled to me, and sat next to me, his hand never leaving my hair, "You like." He was playing with my hair now, and oh yes I liked it...  
"I always like it when you touch me, Mello." I regretted saying this almost immediately, because I didn't want him to take it the wrong way, or to remind him of his barriers, and indeed, his eyes clouded with uncertainty for a brief moment. But the moment after, his arms were around my neck, and he was hugging me.  
I hugged him back.  
"Mello, I'm pretty sure that you feel it when I want you, when I want to touch you more intimately, my desire for you I mean. Does it scare you or disgust you?" I had to ask. I knew he couldn't have missed it, from the beginning even, so I needed to know what he thought about it.  
Mello didn't reply immediately, but then I heard a muffled "no" as he snuggled in the crook of my neck. He even held me closer, which confused me.  
"I also feel that you decide you don't do it." He added, "I am scared at first, but I understand that you feel it, but you don't do it. Like the kiss. You ask me before." He had straightened and was facing me now. "You are... respect. Respectful."  
"Well, I didn't ask you the first time... I'm still sorry for that."  
"It is good. I want it anyway." His smile turned shy. I realised how hard it must be for him to have strong feelings, to discover love, and to have his body tell him that it wants physical contact when his mind is following opposite rules.

"The bed is strange." Mello's focus changed.  
"Strange? Why?" That was a regular double bed (I didn't have the heart to take two separate beds, blame me).  
"It's... soft. Why do humans use a pillow? I saw that, but I don't understand."  
"You never had a pillow?"  
"No. Just mattress, blanket. On... stone. Not like that, not soft like that."  
"Well, yeah I can understand it wasn't soft if your mattress was on a stone. It must not have been very comfortable."  
"What is comfortable?"  
"It's when... come here Mello." I slid up the bed to lie down, my head on the pillow, gesturing to Mello to come next to me.  
He lied down next to me, and turned his head to look at me.  
"Does it feel good to be on the bed, with the pillow and all?" I asked him.  
"Yes."  
"This is what comfortable feels like." I explained.  
"It feels good. Sex is comfortable?" He frowned, trying to relate the concepts.  
I laughed out loud: "No, comfortable is for the positions of the body, like lying on a bed, sitting in a chair, stuff like that."  
"Oh."  
"But why do people on Emaghi sleep on stone to begin with?"  
"It's... normal. But I like here better." Mello poked the pillow, his finger following the seam of the pillowcase.

"I'm gonna take a shower, do you want to watch television in the meanwhile?" I stood up from the bed.  
"I come with you." Mello replied.  
"You don't need to shower Mello, you're self-cleaning." I chuckled.  
"Oh. Take a shower is wash?"  
"Yes."  
"Can I see?" He asked genuinely.  
I would really have to teach him about privacy. But for now, for teaching purposes only about the art of shower, I'd let him come with me in the bathroom. That was going to be weird. Oh well, after explaining him what an erection is, I'm vaccinated I suppose...

"Mello, I have to take my clothes off, you won't freak out? Be scared I mean."  
"No."  
I undressed, but Mello seemed totally impassive. I remembered that he didn't seem to mind being naked in the cubicle, before I gave him clothes.  
I hopped in the shower, a transparent cubicle, Italian shower style. Mello seemed very interested when the water started to pour from the large shower head.  
"Does it feel good?" He asked, curious.  
"Well, yeah, it feels good." I smiled, the tension in my back getting away.  
"You're wet."  
"That's the purpose of a shower." I replied, amused.  
"I never get wet."  
"What would it do to you if you got wet?" I asked. Was Mello like a gremlin or something?  
"Nothing. On Emaghi we stay clean because of our metabolism so no need to wash. Never wet."  
"You never even got to swim? You said there were pools on Emaghi, right?"  
"Yes, pools for food. Seaweed for pills. I never swim."  
"Do you want to try? The shower I mean. If there's no risk for your health, why not try it?"  
Mello's face lit up, and he was ready to join me, before I stopped him: "Take your clothes off before!" I couldn't help but laugh, Mello was so cute with his naïve take on things and his will to understand.

Okay. Me, naked. Mello, naked. In the shower. I had to control myself real hard. No pun intended.  
I should have thought twice before offering him to try the shower...  
I stepped aside so Mello could get under the water. I had to laugh, he was standing there, his hair sticking to his face, looking at me with a big grin.  
"So. Feels good huh?" I winked at him.  
"It's warm."  
I brushed the hair stuck on his face, combing it backwards with my fingers. He was so gorgeous...  
"I have a surprise for you." I grabbed the bottle that I had deposited on the floor when entering the shower. I had gotten this in the kids aisle of the small station store. I squirted a bit in my palm and started to lather it in Mello's hair: "This is apple. The smell, I mean."  
Mello's grin got even wider. "I like it."  
"Close you eyes so it doesn't get in. It stings." I helped him rinse the shower gel, but, standing behind him, I couldn't help the boner that it gave me. His wet hair, his nape, the shape of his shoulders and shoulder blades poking out, his muscles (damn, I felt even more lanky compared to him...), all of this in a perfect fair, slightly golden skin tone... I wanted to kiss all of these, to touch them...  
"Mello, don't be scared, okay? I... I have an erection." It felt pretty weird to state it like this but I had better warn him since it was a sensible subject.  
"Oh." he replied, turning to face me, careful to stay at a distance that prevented us to touch each other accidentally in the small space of the shower, "Why?"  
I suppose that Mello was wondering how rinsing his hair had led to my erection, he had no idea how hot he was, he thought so low of himself...  
"You're so beautiful Mello, and I love you. Seeing you naked makes me want you... I'm sorry, I didn't want to, it just... happened. I have no control over that." I explained the best I could so he wouldn't freak out, looking sheepishly at him.  
It felt really, really weird when Mello looked at my lower half. He didn't look scared or disgusted, just curious. I was being very self conscious at that precise moment. Not that I have to be shameful about my size, I'm in the norm, thank you very much. But I felt scrutinized and I was embarrassed, not knowing what he was thinking or even what to do, standing there under the running shower.  
"I promise Mello, I'm not touching you, I'll just wash myself now, okay?" I broke the heavy silence (well, heavy on my side because Mello didn't seem bothered).  
"Yes."

I lathered the liquid soap all over myself quickly, turning my back to Mello to wash my dick, when I felt his hands in my hair all of a sudden. He was washing them, just like I had done for him.  
"Red. Four percent of Earth population has red hair." Mello stated all of a sudden.  
Now I had my own Rain Man... I chuckled, as I finished rinsing myself and turned to face him again.  
"Rare. But even without red hair. You are rare. Unique. To me." he added.  
Wow. I lost it. I grabbed his face and kissed him. I was about to withdraw when I realised that I hadn't even asked him and that on top of it I was touching him, I mean, we were naked and face to face, so you see what I mean...  
But his arms, sliding around my back, pulled me back to him and he replied to the kiss, softly at first, then deeper, our tongues brushing slowly. No need to say that my boner was back in no time.  
Mello broke the kiss as I expected, when it brushed his own dick.  
"Mello I'm sorry... I..." I began, but he didn't let me finish, his lips where on mines again, pushing me until I had my back against the tiles. His hold on me was extremely strong, and I could feel how easily he could break me if he wanted. The kiss heated even more, I had my arms around his neck, my fingers tangled in his wet hair, wondering where this was going and what about the sudden change, when I felt his own erection on my abdomen. Oh fuck... I was on fire, and Mello seemed to have lost control. I wanted more, I wanted to take his erection in my hand, in my mouth, I wanted to...

Mello let go of me so suddenly that I almost fell in the shower, taking a step back, looking shocked, panting. He had a raging hard on and holy shit, it was a nice one.  
I looked at him, his face I mean, peeling my eyes from his lower half. He looked confused, and something else that I couldn't place. I turned the shower off and grabbed a towel, beginning to dry him in an attempt to make a diversion. He didn't move at all while I did so, but I avoided a particular area, of course.  
"You should get dressed before you catch a cold." I told him, "Well I don't even know if you can catch a cold but it's better we don't take a chance, isn't it?"  
Damn, the atmosphere was so thick I could have cut it with a knife. Mello wasn't saying anything and my babbling didn't help in the slightest.  
I dried myself too, and slid in my jeans and freshly bought tee shirt. I would need to buy underwear, but for now, I'd do without.

I took Mello's hand and pulled him behind me, out of the bathroom. This time we really had a problem, he couldn't even look at me, and I hoped that I hadn't broken what was between him and me...  
I sat on the bed, gesturing to him to do the same.

"Mello, I'm sorry, I didn't want to push you that far, I'm so sorry..."  
"No. Not you Matt. It's me, I... I suddenly want to touch you and... that you touch me. It feels good but I... I can't... I want so much that I forget but I see you want to touch me with your mouth where it is forbidden and I am scared..."  
Mello was speaking fast, and I realised to my horror that he had seen everything I wanted to do to him... I felt like a pervert. To him I mean. It was a natural reaction and I wasn't ashamed of what I wanted to do with Mello, but I was the one that wasn't good, to him. At least that's how I saw it.  
"I'm sorry... I don't know what else to tell you... I wish I could refrain those thoughts, but I can't... Mello you probably think that I'm... bad... but I promise you, I won't force you into anything". I was devastated.  
"No. Matt I... I want you not to be sorry. I get used to it. You are not bad. I am not scared after maybe. I see desire but I see love too. So it is good. I want love. I know what you want to do to me, I see that from Emaghi, humans do that and I see, but I am scared now. You wait and I get used to it."

I took him in my arms, smiling happily. Mello was incredible. Thrown in a world in total opposition to his own, he was getting accustomed with such a brilliant take on things, I was amazed. I don't think I'd be able to do the same, should I be in his situation. Hell, I hoped I would never have to set a foot on Emaghi.

It still took me a while to forget about my dirty thoughts. I had initially thought about selling my car, but that was the best way to be tracked down. I had to get rid of it without the extra money I would have gotten from selling it, that would have been useful. It was even more of a heartbreak but that was the only solution.

Later in the evening, when it was perfectly dark, I drove back to a place I had registered in the back of my mind, not too far from the motel.


	18. Chapter 18

_**Note:** Long chapter! It's probably boring but there was a lot of informations to give. If you could review just like last time and tell me if it's clear/not too confusing/lacking informations, that would be great :)_  
_Some alien stuff is invented, some is based on possible evidence.  
And no cliffie, and I mean it. I hate that XD_

* * *

I locked the motel room, peeping around but there was no one around. Mello followed me to my car, and we drove away. Ten minutes later I was where I wanted to be.  
I parked my car so it was close enough to the border of the road, and we exited it.  
I had a lump in my throat, I had spent so much time working on that car to have it as it was now, fully functional and looking like new... But looking at Mello, the choice was easily made.  
"Can you help me push it?"  
Mello looked at me puzzled.  
"I need to get rid of it, it could get us caught."  
"Oh. But you like it."  
"Yeah... but I can't take the risk, it's too easy to find us with it..."  
Mello gave me a sad look, and walked to the back of the car. I joined him, but as I was about to lay my hands on the trunk and start pushing, he whispered: "Matt kiss, in the car..."  
"You're not making it easier Mello..." I chuckled sadly. Yes, we had to say goodbye to the place where we kissed, our first real kiss... ah, but the memory was still imprinted in my mind, and that was worth all the rest.  
"Now?" he asked.  
"Yes, let's do it before I change my mind." I sighed.  
I didn't even start pushing that my car was cutting through the side rail and flying down until it dived in the water a hundred feet below. I looked at Mello, who hadn't even pushed hard.  
"Remind me to never fight with you." I laughed.  
Mello smiled: "I don't fight with you. I don't want. You're kind."  
I hugged him, trying not to think about my car lying under water now. It was stupid but I wanted to cry. Not because of my car only, but because this was so fucked up, and I didn't know when the end of our escape would be, what would happen to us... I just hoped that I'd be able to protect Mello, that I wouldn't die or something and leave him by himself. It made me sick to think about that.  
Of course Mello felt it, and he held me tighter.  
If the car was found, maybe they'd think we drowned in the accident, even if they didn't find our bodies...

A few minutes later, we were walking back to the motel. It didn't take more than one hour, and Mello held my hand all the way, entwining our fingers by himself. Somehow, he was taking a bit of confidence in small gestures, which I liked, because it felt like we really were a couple, this way.

I had a little more than three hundred dollars left. I could probably buy another car with that, an old second hand or something, but then I wouldn't have anything left... ah well, keeping my car would have led to the same problem sooner or later, because of how much gas I had to put in it.  
We arrived at the motel. Now, all we could do was make the best out of this room, rest, and I would see tomorrow. I had no clue as for now anyway.

After explaining with difficulty to Mello that I needed to use the bathroom alone (he didn't really get the concept of privacy but I really needed to take a dump and there was no way he'd look at me sitting on the throne), I had to explain to him various things, from why there was a window in the room (they didn't even have windows in the buildings of Emaghi!) to why us human liked to have so many furnitures and colourful wallpapers, rugs and stuff. I had the confirmation, if I ever needed one of more, that Mello's planet was a very austere place. It was unlikely to happen, but I would have loved to see Mello's reaction to my apartment, if he thought that the low-key motel room we were in was anything colourful and well furnished. My zebra couch, my king size bed, all my game devices, huge flat screen television, everything... he wouldn't know where to start.

A little later, after filling my stomach and seeing the food stash decrease dramatically (I don't know if that was the pills I was taking, but I was always hungry lately), I decided it was time to go to bed. I kept my jeans not to embarrass Mello with anything happening down south and we slid under the sheets, Mello quickly snuggling in my arms.  
But I wasn't ready to sleep. The fact that I had no clue for tomorrow kept me awake with anxiety, along with the fact that the motel's room door could open anytime on people decided to retrieve Mello.  
So as Mello was never tired (he did sleep, but far less than I did, and since he had slept last night, he was now wide awake), I went for the questions I've been meaning to ask him.

I began with the one that was burning my lips for awhile, even if I was a bit afraid to bring the topic.  
"Mello, how did your father die?"  
"I don't know."  
"Really? You don't know what happened? Your mother never told you?"  
"She tells me when I am a child that he dies suddenly, nothing more. But when I am sixteen, she tells me more. Anemehod dies when she is pregnant because he is fourty-nine, so Emaghi needs new Anemehod..."  
"Oh, Anemehod is not a name, it's a generic term?" I cut him but now it made sense, I thought that the guy was centuries old, the way Mello talked about him.  
"Yes, like king or president for humans, never the same person, his... job is to be Anemehod, it is not the name of the person." Mello explained further, before resuming about the first topic, "Anemehod is designated by abilities. There is always man with better abilities and he is designated, but this time is two men with same abilities, the best abilities, my father and other man. But my father dies suddenly and no need to choose so the other is Anemehod, because Emaghi needs Anemehod."  
I had a bad feeling about this, feeling that didn't seem to have touched on Mello.  
"Mello, have you never thought that the other man killed your father to have the job?"  
"No. Why?" I feel him look at me by the movement of his head, even if I can't see him in the dark. Mello's so formatted by those rules and this ascetic life on Emaghi that the idea didn't even come to his mind once. Everything is deemed normal because no one ever thought by themselves apparently. Well, until Mello decided he wanted to feel, so there was improvement, but still, he didn't even see the evidence that I was seeing myself in the murder of his father.  
"There are two persons that can be Anemehod, and one suddenly dies. Your mother was pregnant of you so your father was around twenty-five, right? So he wasn't even close to the age when he should have died. But he dies. Just when he is in competition with another guy for what seems like the higher rank on your planet."  
Mello stayed silent, but I could tell he was thinking, hard.  
After a while though, he finally spoke: "The people from Sejaleb say the truth maybe..."  
"What do you mean? Who are they?" I thought it was probably somewhere on Emaghi.  
"Other planet, Sejaleb. They are creator of humans. You have proof, the... images of Sumerian, Egyptian, pyramids, and lot of things more, but you maybe call another name?"

I slid in a seated position and lit the small lamp on the nightstand, totally shocked. Mello sat face to me with a questioning look in his eyes.  
"You're telling me that humans were created by extra-terrestrials from a planet named Sejaleb?" I was dumbfounded.  
"Yes, before... long ago. Thousands years your time. Earth is empty, and the people that they put on Mars, all dead, so they want to use new planet. They use Earth because there is animals, other creatures already. Apes look like Sejaleb people a little. They use... genetics with apes, and humans exist after Sejaleb people breeding with apes. But humans don't evolve so Sejaleb people back on Earth to help several times. They help with building big structures, with writing, with astronomy. They leave places where they land, you know them. But I see in you, humans not sure what it is. I don't know humans doubt, I... am surprised."  
"Holy shit, that's just crazy! So humans are half extra-terrestrials in the end? That's amazing!" I didn't even doubt him, he had no reason to lie. But that was so fucking astonishing!  
"But what happened on Mars?"  
"Mars is like Earth before. Water, trees, animals. Sejaleb sends people there to live and breed. The population grows and when there is too many, it degenerates. Like Earth. People do bad things, kill, eat animals, animals disappear, water disappear, diseases come, people want to take resources and leave nothing to others, people starve and other have all they need, so Sejaleb Anemehod burns the planet. He is disappointed and mad at people on Mars and he destroys them."  
"But... since the same is happening on Earth, will he do the same here?" I was starting to feel pretty scared, knowing that there was an entity, a whole planet even, that could decide to get rid of the worldwide population that easily.  
"He wants, but he needs experiment before. He wants to see how... far humans will go, and results of humans mistakes, like tsunami and flooding, he thinks maybe humans destroy alone and he wants to see it. And also, on Emaghi we are the new model with rules for keeping population safe and planet safe, and he... watches us, what we become. If rules work."  
"Are you, on Emaghi I mean, also created by Sejaleb?"  
"No, not Sejaleb. Emaghi people born like life on Earth, with meteorite, but cells on meteorite more developed, Emaghi people evolve faster, stronger, and with genetics we build stronger persons in time. No one on Emaghi knows where the cells come from, but sure not Sejaleb. Far after Sejaleb, it is all we know. Not same galaxy."  
"Humans look like the people on Sejaleb, right?"  
"Yes."  
"Emaghi people also look similar, I mean, even if men are taller and stronger, the head, eyes, nose, arms, legs and so on, it's similar, how come? Alien magazines always picture aliens like ugly little creatures or even medusas, but why are we all so similar in the end?"  
"Oh. Simple. The shape of people is the right one for life in this galaxy."  
Indeed, it was simple.

I was in possession of informations that no one would ever believe. I was beyond stupefied. It felt like when I had seen Mello the first time, and realised that aliens did exist: I felt insecure. There was life on other planets, and who knew what they could do to us?

"So, all the UFOs seen by several people on Earth, they're real alien spaceships? Other planets visit us?"  
"Yes. Mainly Sejaleb."  
"How many inhabited planets do you know of?"  
"Earth, Sejaleb, Emaghi, Unaki. Unaki very small population, peaceful. They visit Earth after Sejaleb breed humans, Sumerian from Earth call them Anunaki because understand language wrong. When Sejaleb visits after Unaki, Sumerian still call Anunaki for Sejaleb. But it is Sejaleb that make evolution, not Unaki. Unaki never come back after."  
"Oh my god, if people knew all of that... that would change everything, from religions to evolution. That would be a massive chaos!" I was really excited. That was just too amazing! I was partly scared but still, that was so big I couldn't believe it.

"But how come that humans went on Mars, on the moon, studied all the planets we know, and no one ever saw any of the actually inhabited planets you're talking about?"  
"We hide. Humans can't see. We don't want humans, too dangerous. Humans bring bad."  
"That makes sense... but how do you hide?"  
"The... barrier. Like when the glass falls, when we escape. It is same protection but bigger for planet, and it is not people who protect but machine. Humans see nothing. If they come near they don't notice. Difficult to explain, they cross planet like... Bermuda triangle. Humans think they travel from point to point but we stop them and put them far after in the same direction, with time and space they don't notice."  
"You mean teleportation?"  
"Yes. Teleportation." Mello nodded, holding my hand for language support.  
"Holy shit... But where are the people that got lost in the Bermuda triangle then? Do you know that?"  
"Sejaleb. For experimentation."

I stood up to fetch a drink, trying to process everything that Mello had just told me. Part of me was overexcited, another one was evaluating the weight of this configuration. Humans, who thought they were the center of the universe, who considered themselves the highest species existing, were just the lowest race ever. I can't say I was surprised by this revelation, I just had to watch the news to see how rotten we were, how insane this world was turning. It was only giving me an urge to kick some ass, like all those politicians, all those low-key scientists that had never figured that out, all the industrials that were polluting our last resources and starving innocents...

I had less important questions to ask, but since we weren't close to fall asleep, let's go.  
"Are there animals on Emaghi? You seemed very interested by the dog you saw this morning."  
"No. We don't need animals so we don't have. Animals pollute. I know dog because it is in you."  
"I see. You really only eat that seaweed? And in pills, never the fresh seaweed?"  
"Yes. It is for metabolism. If we eat fresh seaweed, we have body functions like humans back, and it pollutes."  
"Makes sense."  
"Do you have ways to relax after work, like bars, or parties? Or any activity for that matter..."  
"No. No interactions. Never. We meet only parents when we live with them, and people we work with, and mate when we live with mate. Of course, we meet people in street, building corridors and other places but we don't see, don't speak."  
"You ignore others like they don't even exist?"  
"Yes. It is the rule."  
"But you can talk to your mate or parents, right?"  
"Yes. For questions or orders. No talking like me with you now."  
"You said your parents loved each other, but how did they communicate? Only by touching?"  
"No. No touching. Because others touching them know what is inside them and know they love. Dangerous. Books. Books I bring with me. In the spaceship."  
"Explain?"  
"Books are synthetic skin. It keeps informations when you touch. Father touches and the informations, words, thoughts, are in the page. Mother touches page and she reads and she knows what father says to her. He says he loves her in different ways."  
"But then, she has the informations in her, so it's dangerous too?"  
"No. After she reads, she forgets. It is safe."  
"How can she forget?"  
"She just can. We all can. Selection of informations. She reads, and she forgets, so she never leaves home with informations. But she can read again when she wants. When father dies and after."  
"She could have erased the memory of her love so she wouldn't suffer instead?"  
"You erase your memory, if you can, after I die?" Mello asked me, which surprised me by the clarity of his reasoning for someone that was a lot more clueless about love than humans are.  
"No... of course not...".

"So you read those books too?"  
"Yes. I keep them because it is important. To me."  
"I understand... what is the risk if someone else touches them?" I had touched them, and all the scientists in charge of their study had, too.  
"Nothing, humans can't read and can't transfer information in books."  
At least the books were safe, sort of.

I lied down, Mello's head on my chest, my arm around his back.  
"So you can erase your mind as you like?" I wish I could, I would unsee so many things, like the day I had seen my uncle Tom in nothing but a purple transparent lacy night gown when I was a kid and slept other at my cousin's...  
"No. I don't have the ability. I don't know."  
"Oh, well... I think I like it better this way." I smiled, kissing the top of Mello's head. He smelled of apples.  
"I like better too. I don't want to forget. I want to remember all."

I slowly drifted into sleep. I still didn't know what we'd do the next day, but I was a lot less anxious. I know that no Sejaleb people would come and burn alive the people threatening us, should they find us, but I felt so small in comparison of this galaxy I just had learnt more about, I couldn't consider this escape so frightening as much as I did before...


	19. Chapter 19

_**Note:** Duh... 19 chapters... and I'm still not over yet. I take it back when I said 5 chapters, then 14 XD_  
_A very simple chapter to make up for the information heavy one of yesterday._

_Oh, have you seen the news? The NASA has discovered two new planets that could be inhabitable! Do you think they actually discovered Sejaleb and Unaki? XD_

_Self ad: the co-authorings with Dlvvanzor (Stockholm Syndrome and Psyche) have been updated ;) (links in my profile, or search for our joint account Goggles and Chocolate)._

* * *

I woke up in a jerk, not feeling Mello close to me, to find him sat on the floor, flipping through the pages of what I recognised as the Bible. I always wondered why there was always a Bible in every hotel or motel room, and not the Coran, the Torah or another religious book.  
"Can you read?" I asked him, stirring.  
"No. I look at pictures." he replied, not taking his eyes off what seemed very interesting to him, "Why the Sejaleb spaceship everywhere? You say you don't know Sejaleb."  
"What are you talking about?" I asked, leaving the bed to sit next to him on the carpet.  
"This." Mello showed me the Christian cross on several illustrations.  
"Are Sejaleb's spaceships in the form of a cross?"  
"Yes."  
I wasn't awaken enough to ask further questions, and that would probably confuse me more than anything, but I had the feeling that even the Jesus thing had something to do with aliens. It was already a belief among millions of people already, that Gods had never existed but were aliens, so that wouldn't be surprising.

Mello left the book on the desk, where he had found it, as we stood up.  
I cleaned up quickly and was greeted by Mello looking straight at me when I came out of the bathroom, obviously waiting for something.  
"Mello? Are you okay?"  
"Yes. Do you have an erection?"  
I opened wide eyes, then started laughing. I was getting used to the awkwardness of Mello's questions and it was quite funny in the end, and cute.  
"No Mello, I don't..."  
Mello was suddenly on me, his arms around my neck, holding me close.  
"You're really something, you know that?" I laughed even more.  
I placed my arms around his waist and kissed his temple. Damn, I really love him...

We left the motel. We'd have to walk a bit since we had no car anymore, but the small place we had landed in was pretty calm and not very populated, just a few houses and farms here and there, at a distance from each other.  
We headed east, following the road, walking in the fields to avoid meeting cars or trucks.  
We barely stopped a few times, and believe it or not, I was starting to feel pretty good. I suppose I needed the exercise.

It was beginning to get dark, and we were still in the middle of a field. We had avoided the big city, preferring small areas, and it was getting clear that we'd have to spend the night out. It was June so it wasn't cold by any means, but I was concerned about animals attacking us or something. I had no idea what was living in those fields. I tried to reassure myself with the thought that there must only be mice, rats maybe, rabbits, but nothing really dangerous.  
I wasn't an outdoor person, but Mello didn't seem to mind at all, as long as he could invade my arms as I lied down on the ground. At least, the high corn cobs were hiding us and we didn't have to worry about being seen.  
We had walked all day, and this time, no chatting... I fell asleep as soon as I closed my eyes.

I hadn't slept that good for a long time despite the place. It was probably the exercise, and the fact that it felt quite safe to be in the middle of nowhere. Hell, they'd be good if they could find us here without an helicopter, and there was obviously nothing to fear in that area for now.  
I looked around, sitting, my back hurting a bit since the ground wasn't particularly soft, and spotted Mello not very far, crouched and apparently very interested in something. I suppose that since he didn't need to sleep as much as I did, he tried to entertain himself.  
I yawned, calling his name, but he didn't hear me, weirdly.  
I stood up and approached, trying not to scare him since he was obviously absorbed in whatever he was looking at. But as I was about to touch his shoulder to catch his attention, I was greeted by an electric shock that had me jump backwards, my hand and arm hurting. It wasn't really bad but it wasn't pleasant either, and I was really surprised.

Mello stood up and turned around, worry in his eyes, as I saw a vole run away.  
"Making friends with a mouse?" I smiled to him. I was okay, I didn't want him to feel guilty for what had happened (although I wasn't so sure what happened, actually).  
"Mouse." He repeated, "Mouse is scared so I tell him I don't hurt him. Mouse is not scared and I look at him because I never see one. He is kind and hungry so I give food."  
And indeed, Mello had given a small piece of cookie to the animal, who had come back, staying at a safe distance but obviously wanting to retrieve the last crumb of his lunch.  
"Do you actually communicate with that mouse?" I was fascinated. The vole was scared of me, but not of Mello. He crouched and held out the piece of cookie to it, and the vole actually took it before trotting away and disappearing.  
"Yes."  
"The mouse whisperer..." I chuckled, "That could be useful, who knows..."  
But it didn't give me a sudden idea to save us from the situation, unfortunately.

"Mello, what was that electric charge you gave me when I tried to touch you?"  
"It is the protection. I talk to the mouse so I am not close to you. So I protect you with... magnetic shield, like with glass breaking. But I don't see you wake and you touch me and this is the electricity in me. I hurt you, I am sorry." Mello looked at me with guilt in his eyes, just as I expected he would. Every time he thought he'd done something wrong to me, he looked on the verge of tears.  
"Hey, it's fine Mello, I'm fine, I was only surprised and wanted to know what had happened, I am not blaming you, and you did nothing wrong." I took him in my arms, and he sighed, his forehead on my shoulder. How could I be mad at him anyway, even if he had hurt me? He protects me while I sleep, how thoughtful is that?  
I didn't know, though, about the results of touching him while he was doing it, now I was warned.  
But this time I had my idea.

We reached another small town in the afternoon. There was an indication for a commercial center a few miles further and I decided to take that direction. We were carrying the supplies I had bought in plastic bags and if we had to travel, I would at least need a backpack or something, the water was heavy (okay, Mello was the one to carry it around, and he would have been carrying nothing, it would have been the same, he would probably have carried me on top of it without a problem). And they had car dealers there, which is what appealed to me the most, in relation to my idea.

We reached the huge parking lot of the commercial center around 5pm. I spotted a rest area for the fastlane nearby behind the mall, along with a hotel.  
I decided to rent a room and leave Mello in. I didn't need us to be spotted in the mall by the security cameras, because if they were after us, a very red haired guy with a very blond one would be easily to notice.

"Mello, I'm going to leave you alone for half an hour. I'll be as fast as I can. Don't worry, I'll be back. I just need to buy a few things. It is too dangerous if we go together so I prefer that you stay here. Can you stay here without me?" I was worried to no end to leave Mello by himself so I was going to make sure that he wouldn't be scared, and that he wouldn't do anything to put himself in danger.  
"Yes." he replied, although I could see that he was reluctant.  
"Don't open the door to anyone. Don't talk to anyone. If someone knocks at the door, act as if there wasn't anyone in the room. I know you will probably get bored, but don't make a noise. Okay?" I was talking to him as if I was addressing a child before a very important event, but I didn't know how to proceed, and I really didn't want Mello to interact with anyone. No one would probably come around but I needed to provide for the unpredictable.  
"Yes." Mello sat on the border of the bed, and looked prepared to wait patiently.  
"I'll be fast, I promise." I gave him a quick peck on the lips that had the merit to make him smile, and made a few steps toward the door. His beautiful eyes were sparkling all of a sudden. Oh damn, I didn't want to leave now... I went back to him, took his face in my palms and, bending enough to reach his forehead, I deposited a kiss there, then on his cheek, and pecked his lips once more, smiling back, before I exited the room. I saw his huge smile just before I closed the door behind me, there was so much tenderness in his eyes that I felt my heart swell, ready to explode.

I hid my hair in the hood of my jacket before I left the lobby of the hotel. It was one of those low cost highway hotel chains, but it was still a lot better than the crappy motel from two nights ago. At least there was an internet connexion available through the television. I wanted to make a few researches via Google so that would be useful.  
I walked to the mall, grabbed a plastic basket, and realised that I hadn't been forced to care for the price of things for a long time. I used to take whatever I wanted when I happened to shop, because my income was important enough so I didn't have to worry about my expenses (and I didn't really spend with care, every game I wanted, I bought, same with food, and I couldn't say I was a tightwad when it came to furnish my apartment, I was very keen on the latest innovations in the tech area).

I went for the backpack first, then underwear so I had at least two to switch everyday and handwash the other (my mother always told me that it was important to have clean underwear, you never know when you can end in a hospital... no, just kidding, I just didn't need Mello to feel disgusted by my body odours, he had a very good sense of smell after all). I added a hoodie for Mello, because it could become useful to hide his hair too some time.  
I still had enough food and couldn't carry too much anyway, but I bought an apple. A real apple, so Mello could see what it looked like. I spent at least five minutes choosing one, people looking at me like if I was some kind of perfection maniac. I took a shiny red one that didn't have a single dent. And... I took something else for Mello. Not really out of guilt for leaving him alone in the room, but I was suddenly feeling like spoiling him a bit. He was my boyfriend, right? Did mate stand for boyfriend? Maybe it was more like husband actually, since it was for life, on Emaghi.  
I was Mello's husband. Ah... insert oozing romance and little flying red hearts everywhere. I smiled to myself and went to pay for my stuff.  
I checked the car dealer from afar before going back to the hotel.

When I opened the door of the room, Mello was still sitting exactly where I had left him.  
"You had the right to move you know." I chuckled, feeling my heart melt already under the look of happiness he was giving me. I would have been gone for days, it would've been the same...  
I left my purchases on the floor near the door, grabbing the small item I had bought for Mello out of the paper bag.


	20. Chapter 20

_**Note:** From the beginning I had a specific ending for that fic. I'll probably change my mind about it though, because I obviously can't bring myself to write what I originally intended to. I'm torn. All the rest would still happen exactly the same, just the ending can be different. Drama or not drama?  
Sorry, lots of fluff again XD (but that won't last, believe me...)_

* * *

Mello was more interested by me coming back than the item in my hand, that is, until I handed it out to him.  
"I brought you something from the store, it's nothing, really, but I thought you might like it."  
He looked at it, not really getting what it was. I sat beside him and tore the plastic protection away, depositing the object in his lap.  
"Book." he simply said.  
"Yes, this is a book. For you."  
"Why?" he looked really puzzled, his eyes going back and forth between the book and me.  
"This is a present. To make you happy." He didn't seem to get the concept of present, "You never received a present?"  
"No." Mello's hand reached for mine, and by the warmth spreading between our palms, I knew that he was searching for the explanation in me.  
It took a few minutes but he eventually let go of my hand, only to fall into my arms, crying.  
"That wasn't supposed to make you cry..." I whispered, my lips against his hair. The apple smell reminded me of the other thing I had bought for him, but if it meant unleashing a river of tears, I wasn't so sure it was a good idea to give it to him.  
"I... I am happy." Mello replied, facing me. I wiped the tears off his face and pushed a few blonde strands out of his eyes. "On Emaghi no one has presents, but on Earth you have word for it. Thank you. Matt. No similar word on Emaghi."  
They didn't offer presents to each other, and they didn't even have a way to say thank you. Great planet, friendly people, the ideal destination for your vacations...

Mello brought his attention to the book again, staring at the cover and holding it as if it was some precious artefact. I couldn't help but laugh, the book had gone from strange item to the most important thing ever, in Mello's hands.  
"I know you can't read, although I'm pretty sure you could learn faster than I can imagine, but it just reminded me so much of you this morning, I thought you'd like the pictures at least. I'm aware that it's normally for children but well... I hope you like it."  
"I like it." Mello replied, looking at me with a huge smile. I slid my arm around his shoulders, kissing his cheek, "Mouse." he said, looking back at the cover.  
"Yep, and this is a cookie." I pointed at another part of the drawing on the cover, then at the title, "It's written _If you give a mouse a cookie_ . This is the title of the book."  
"Oh. I understand. I give a mouse a cookie this morning." he laughed softly.  
Mello laughed.  
I made Mello laugh with my book.

I probably froze for long seconds because Mello suddenly glanced at me, seeing that I was staying silent.  
"Matt. You're not fine." he stated, frowning.  
"I'm totally fine Mello. Actually, that's probably the finest I could be." I didn't make sense and Mello was scrutinizing my face in an attempt at finding out why I was suddenly talking nonsense and grinning like a dork, "It's the first time I hear you laugh, Mello!"  
"Laugh?" he asked, puzzled.  
"The noise you just made, it is called laughter, and when you do it, you laugh." I explained.  
"Oh. I... I don't know, what word... I do without thinking, is it bad?"  
"No. No, it's actually very good, it means that I'm able to make you happy, so it makes me happy too."  
"I like when you are happy." The shy smile had made its appearance and I knew what that meant. But I didn't want to risk scaring Mello this time. I knew that our kisses always ended up as heated exchanges and brought feelings in him that he couldn't control, and was afraid of, so I would play it safe for once. I just wanted the fuzzy feeling to stay innocent, so Mello wouldn't have to back away.

I slid on the floor, my back against the bed, and pulled Mello so he sat between my legs, his book on his knees.  
I had my arms around him, and I read the lines as he turned the pages, my chin on his shoulder. It was intimate and at the same time, there was nothing sexual in this simple act. Actually, sexual wouldn't have fitted. It was just my cheesy romance with an angel, and I relished in the feeling, no matter how lame that sounded. I realised how much it was only him and me from the beginning, we were caught together in a shitty situation and we had only each other. But I didn't want anyone else anyway.

I had had friends, some I had considered good friends, like Gavin before he ditched me because I got the job he wanted (damn, I wonder what would have become of Mello, should Gavin have gotten the job instead of me... and what would have become of me, never meeting Mello...), but since my mother had died I realised that I was so much a geek that it never seemed appealing to me to hang out with friends, and they rarely invited me anyway so that was even. I supposed at the time that our friendship wasn't that important otherwise they would have entertained it. I tried to, but after the last time I invited a few friends over and they were all busy partying with more important friends, I didn't bother anymore. I was the lonely dorky guy whose games kept him away from daylight most of the time (my complexion would render the palest vampire jealous). I was always feeling out of place anywhere I was so it was better to stay at home where my whole world resided.

I brushed Mello's hair away from his right shoulder so I could kiss it. I felt him shiver, so I stopped. I had to be careful.

I was delighted by the questions he was asking me with every page we read. It was seriously entertaining, and I wanted to hug his cuteness and make it enter in me by squeezing him so hard we'd made only one in the end.  
"Everyone give cookies to mouse?", "Why the mouse has clothes above the fur?", "Why mouse speak and not child?"...  
But at some point, I had to explain what milk was, why humans drank what was meant for the baby of an animal (Mello was totally shocked by that one, which made me think about it, and realise that indeed, it was pretty gross...), then I had to explain what became of the veal if humans took his milk away, and it wasn't pretty, believe me. I ended up promising Mello we'd never kill a veal and that I'd never buy milk again. I think I was on my way to become a vegan, but I didn't really mind. Anything as long as it didn't make him cry.

Mello's compassion for all animals made me understand better those vegetarians and vegan activists. I always considered them not totally wrong but well, a bit too far gone in their way of life. Now, maybe it was because of love, but I wouldn't be able to look at Mello and still consume something that would require an animal to die. It occurred to me that the way we used animals wasn't better than the way Mello had been treated. Who was I to decide for the life of another being, be it a cow or an alien?  
Mello had even saved my ex boss when Jon had fired, the day I had my last heart attack. I mean, the guy had kept him trapped for months and was in charge of the horrendous experiments conducted on him, and he had still saved him. If Mello could be that respectful even for the life of a bastard like my ex boss, then I could be respectful to a cow, at least.

I dried Mello's tears after the veal incident, and resumed our reading.  
When Mello closed the book on the last page. He simply snuggled in my arms, and we stayed there, silent. I could feel his heart beat against me, and I didn't need him to talk to know how he felt.  
"I love you too Mello." I murmured in his ear.

"Mello, do you have music on Emaghi?" I suddenly asked. I don't know why I had thought about that just now but it occurred to me that as far as I knew, Mello had never heard music until now. I wasn't one hundred per cent sure, but I thought so.  
"I don't know? What is music?" he replied, slightly turning to look at me.  
I grabbed the remote control and came back to sit behind Mello, searching for a music channel. No, I didn't want a rap or r'n'b channel. If Mello had never heard any music, I wanted his first experience to be something that was _really_ music. I found some radio channels and stopped on one that was playing old songs from the 50's. My mother used to love them, and I couldn't help but go for those.  
_All I have to do is dream_ by The Everly Brothers... So many memories of my mother ironing or cooking while singing to old tunes came back to my mind, the way she used to sing along and dance in the kitchen, often pulling me for a pirouette before depositing a plate of pancakes in front of me, her old radio crackling each time we used the toaster, but she refused to have a more recent one because my father had offered her this one for her twentieth birthday (they had been dating since they were sixteen, can you believe it? First love, last love...).

I felt Mello shift slightly.  
"Is it music?" he asked, "I like it, it is beautiful. But it makes you sad."  
"Yes, it's music. I'm not sad Mello, don't worry, I just remembered my mom, I'm okay." I held him a bit tighter.

The next song was Patti Page's _How much for that doggie in the window_ , and Mello was so amused by the dog barking in the song that I had the chance to hear his beautiful laughter again. If I ever had access to Itunes someday, I _had_ to buy this song. But I couldn't even use my phone for now, at the risk of being located, had anyone decided to track my line. That and the credit card were probably the first things they had done.

After explaining a bit more about music, using the synthetic skin book as a reference to make Mello understand the concept of recording voices, instruments or anything else, we spent half of the night listening to that 50's radio, Mello never getting tired of it.  
It was great, and I could almost forget that we were stuck in a hotel, and on the run.

I wanted so much to go back home, bring Mello with me and live on delivery so we would never leave my apartment, just the two of us and the four walls... ah, better stop dreaming.

Well... maybe not, after all. I suddenly set aside my previous idea of stealing a car because it occurred to me that we were on the run although we were much stronger than the ones after us. Or at least Mello was. Okay, they had guns, but Mello had his abilities, and a knowledge that they would want...


	21. Chapter 21

_**Note:** Back to action, slightly. Next chapter will actually be a lot more eventful. I squeezed a bit here too :)_

_I read an amazing story today and wanted to advertise it because it left my heart swelling, it's such a beautiful fairytale :)_  
_Seriously, that has become my favourite story ever, and it almost made me cry._  
_It's **My Deer by fake-lis**. Go read it!_

* * *

The next day I had a long talk with Mello.  
I listed all of his abilities, then had him tell me the other ones Emaghi people had that he didn't have. For now. He had them in him, he just didn't know how to use them. And the ones he had, he controlled the protection one quite well but the rest...

Okay, so we had the magnetic protection, the sound wave, the attraction (when Mello had kept me close to the glass when I wanted to runaway), the mental and tactile communication and learning (which included communication with animals obviously), the strength, the fast recovery, and the fact that Mello could calculate trajectories in a split second, which I called super duper smartness. It wasn't an ability, stricto sensu, just that he had a brain that was a lot more functional than humans.

In the other column, we had memory deletion, for what I knew. But when Mello told me about the other that existed, I almost fell off the bed. Teleportation? TELEPORTATION? Seriously? That was awesome. Totally and perfectly awesome. I was amazed. I had thought that they could hide their planets and let people seemingly go through with teleportation with machines or super effective rays or something, not that people could actually do it for themselves too...

I explained to Mello what I was planning to do. He listened carefully, holding my hand to be sure he would get everything. When I was done, he simply said: "I trust you."  
I was touched, but I wasn't even sure I trusted myself with that plan...  
But we couldn't be on the run forever, and I was really worried about the time when Mello's body would run out of sustenance. It was more than three months ahead, but that could as well pass very fast and then there would be nothing we could do.

Mello had told me that he actually had supplies in his spaceship. I taught him that it had been dismantled and rebuilt, so that his pills had probably been found or destroyed accidentally, but I wasn't sure since they hadn't been mentioned anywhere in the various reports I had read. Which wasn't surprising, they were hidden in a specific part of his outfit. At least, I knew for sure that Mello's original clothes hadn't been damaged since the study of the fabric and various elements had given no answer about the material or the eventual special skills they possessed. It had been left untouched until further studies and set away in a protected area.  
That's when I learnt that Mello couldn't actually use teleportation without his spacial outfit. Damn. That was no luck.

But with his strength, his magnetic protection and his sound wave thing, there was already enough to use in my plan.  
We left the hotel, and wandered around until it was dark enough. We'd need a car in the end, we had to go back to Pasadena.

When it was finally night, we approached the car dealer's huge store, and I went for a brand new Ford Taurus Sedan (heh, blame me...). The plan was clear: choose car, get to car, break into it, deactivate the alarm, sit in, rev it up and drive away, fast.  
It ended up being: choose car, Mello doing whatever he could do with his hands on the car that I didn't even understand, open the door, sit in, Mello doing whatever... yadda yadda and the car started and we drove away. Maybe I should consider breaking bad and build my own stolen cars business? Well, I had already turned to the dark side anyway, if you considered my situation and the fact that I was now driving that baby fully dressed in wood and leather inside. Oh damn, Mello had better not know that... leather was animal and it would make him sad.

We didn't have much time before the car would be reported missing, until the morning I supposed, so I had to drive all night if possible, then we'd discard the car anywhere and they'd find it eventually. As long as they didn't find us with it...  
Ah, it didn't have the feel of my beloved Camaro, which was now taking a bath somewhere in Arizona...

I was very tensed at the idea of going back to Pasadena, expecting to be caught on the way. Mello was tensed because he knew that the plan was mostly on his shoulders, and even if we didn't have much of a choice, I felt really bad for putting such a pressure on him.  
But if we wanted a chance at stopping our escape and be safe, we had to take it.

I felt the lump in my throat thicken as I saw the first indication clearly stating Pasadena. Here we were...  
I took the first highway exit I could find, and once I reached the middle of nowhere in open field, we took our stuff and left the car there.  
I had no idea what time it was since my phone was still off and I had no watch, but it was still dark. It probably had taken around six hours to get back here from the Tucson area, so the sun would rise in two hours, maybe. Enough for us to walk up to an inhabited area and find a way to reach the center of Pasadena. A train, a bus, whatever. Given that we managed to do that without getting spotted, who knew if they had launched a big search for us under a fake pretence? Because they were unlikely to alert the population with a big "Alien wanted" campaign, obviously.

We reached Arcadia and, with our hoods on, took the first train to Pasadena. Mello stayed in my arms, curled up against me, during all the time it took to arrive to our destination. He was scared, which I could understand. I was trying not to think about my own doubts and fears so I wouldn't communicate them to him, but it wasn't that easy. They were there in me and no matter how much I tried to erase them, he knew about them.  
Oh God, I hoped that we'd make it. That I could keep him safe...

We were out of the railway station in no time, hopping out of the train as soon as it stopped.  
I wasn't so sure about going back to my apartment, but we needed a place to stay and hide, and I was out of cash, and couldn't risk using my credit card just now. Not so close to our goal. We had to stay unnoticed still.

I was really careful when we arrived in the street where I resided. It was still night and there was no one around, but I asked Mello to wait for me in a nearby alley while I was checking things, with the instruction to run away, should I be caught or something. But something told me, when he uttered his usual "Yes." that Mello had learnt how to lie...

I walked to my building, looking around, then entered the lobby. Still no one. I was surprised when I reached my apartment, that it was totally untouched. Was it bugged?  
It seemed safe so I went back to bring Mello in, and closed the door behind us.

"No camera." Mello stated, as he saw me inspect the apartment further. I turned around, I wasn't particularly surprised, because that was Mello and his abilities were beyond everything I knew, so he could as well be able to know if my place was bugged or not, "No signal." He explained.  
"That makes sense." I smiled, "But how can you make the difference between a possible spy camera signal and, let's say, the television here or the wifi connexion?"  
"I know what I search. You search camera, I understand, I search. No camera. But internet I feel. And... I feel something, I don't know the word."  
"Oh. Come here." I showed the antenna on the roof of the building on the other side of the street, "Is it what you feel? It's a mobile phone antenna."  
"Yes." he simply said.  
Ok, so now my mate's a radar for waves... "Does it hurt you?"  
"No. No hurt, just... I feel."  
"Good." I smiled, snaking my arm around his waist.

Mello placed his arms around my shoulders, and his strong embrace suddenly sent my senses into overdrive. The feeling was different, he wasn't snuggling in my arms, and I wasn't feeling like I was protecting him. Actually the situation was opposite, it felt so damn good to be held by those strong arms, I was the one nesting against him this time, and it did things to my lower half. Call it princess complex, but it felt so good, and it made me crave for his touch... I tried to refrain my thoughts as soon as they crept their way in my head, but I felt him stiffen, which told me it was already too late.  
But he didn't let me go. He even held me tighter, and I felt his warm breath against my ear. Damn, it made things even worse, and I could feel myself start to get hard. No. No no no!

But to my surprise, even when I was fully erected and that there was no way he didn't feel it, he didn't back away.  
He just held me there, unmoving. I wanted to kiss him so badly, but I knew that it would only make things worse. It was already much that he hadn't run away from me already.  
Suddenly, I felt his lips just below my earlobe, on the sensitive skin of my neck. Fuck fuck fuck! I let out a shaky breath. It felt so damn good, but I needed to stay in control.  
My mind was a contradictory mix of the things I wanted him to do to me and do to him, and the will to clear my head of all the sexual tension so he wouldn't be able to see that in me, but when he obviously went for the first one, his lips softly touching the skin along my jawline, like a caress, I was a mess, unable to thing anything else than _kiss me_...  
Blame me if you want, but I had spent months single and not getting laid once, then days on the run with an alien that didn't have a clue about what privacy was which had rendered masturbation impossible, not even just once, and I was now ready to unload in my pants with the level of testosterone bubbling in me from deprivation. Add to that being in love with the sexiest guy on Earth... wait, scratch that, I could go as far as to say he was the sexiest guy in the whole universe... well, you get the picture, I was in heat.

And he kissed me. That was the only thing in my mind so there was no possibility that he hadn't seen that. I could feel he wanted it too, and there was no coming back. I was unable to control myself, especially not when Mello became properly _feral_. It turned me on so badly I didn't know who I was anymore. He was holding me strong, his arms encircling my back in a possessive manner, telling me that I was going nowhere because I was his... and soon I had my back to the window, my butt on the windowsill, and Mello standing between my legs, which, if possible, made it all worse. He was hard, I could feel it, and he apparently had no plan on taking fright, not when he was pushing me closer, our erections touching through the fabric of our jeans.  
And the kiss. Holy shit, what a kiss! Mouths were pressed hard together, wide open, tongues mingling, almost fighting. I slid my hands in his hair, wanting more of that although it was _impossible_ to get closer than we already were...  
I don't know how long it lasted, but Mello's heart was racing, I could feel it, his breath was heavy and he barely stopped kissing me for air, almost biting my lips in the process.  
His hand travelled down my back, pushing my pelvis forward into him and I moaned loudly. He could have taken me right here, dry, I wouldn't have minded. I didn't know if he knew exactly how to proceed but the images in my mind would be a good indication, if he needed one.

I refrained a pained sound as Mello's hold on me became so strong that I felt the small of my back bend beyond capacity. Mello stopped kissing me immediately, panting, his eyes clouded and uncertain.  
He backed away, horror filling his eyes.


	22. Chapter 22

_**Note:** Brace yourselves. **And read the author note at the end once you're done, it's important.** No, don't read it now. Read the chapter first dammit!_

_I had a dramatic ending planned since the beginning, but I couldn't do it, so I wanted a happy ending, but that was far from what I had intended, so, unable to choose, I'm giving you confusion. Am I not sweet? :D_

./. means slight time gap.  


* * *

I jumped on my feet, refraining one more whimper as I felt my back hurting, to catch Mello's face between my palms. I knew perfectly what was going on in his mind and there was no way I'd let those thoughts make their nest in there.  
"It's okay Mello, I'm fine. I'm all fine. I'm not that flexible, that's all." I chuckled, trying to make him understand that he hadn't harmed me. Sure, it had been painful, because he was so far gone in what was happening that he held me a bit too strongly, and with his capacities, it was too much for my back, I couldn't curl up backward like a tribal fusion dancer, although I wish I could, that'd be interesting, to say the least...  
"Matt... I'm sorry. I'm sorry." He repeated, tears welling in his eyes already. I think that more than the pain, which he had probably felt through me, it was the fear that coursed through me for one split second that put him in that state. Yes, I had been afraid, for an instant, that he wouldn't be able to control himself and would break me in half. That's how strong he was holding me...  
"It's okay, really, you're not used to that, you just got carried away, it will get better..." I tried to soothe him, my thumbs caressing his cheeks, "You'll be more careful next time." I smiled, reassuring him that there would be a next time, and that I wasn't against it.

Actually, I didn't know if I should have been happy that we made some progress with the danger zone and the no touch rule, or if I should be scared of Mello's strength. What if he lost total control and I couldn't warn him that he was hurting me before the inevitable happened? He could snap my neck with one hand...  
I was starting to wonder if the fact that they didn't have feelings on Emaghi was a way to prevent that... no, that would be stupid, their stronger built was probably enough so that it wouldn't happen. I felt even more like a lame human...

No need to say, both our erections were things of the past after that incident, and with the sexual tension vanishing for now, I suddenly felt exhaustion wash other me. It was like post-sex exhaustion, except that I didn't have the sex. Damn.  
Mello looked tired too for once, and I could see he was pretty shaken by what had happened, so I called it a night. I only took my jeans off and slid under the covers, Mello imitating me. I had to pull him into my arms to make him understand that he could still touch me, he was so wary now...  
The difference being that I had still my boxers, Mello was going commando under his jeans. He hadn't paid attention to that detail, but I had. And flat or not, his dick against my thigh wasn't the best way to help me sleep.

I woke up to the sound of my alarm clock at 8am. Stupid thing, it was still on according to my last day of work's schedule, and I hadn't come back here since then, I was busy running away, mind you.  
My neighbours must have been delighted to hear it for exactly fifty-nine minutes every morning while I was gone, since it only set off automatically after that amount of time.  
I grunted while trying to set it off, and felt Mello shift beside me (or better said, _on_ me).  
Which reminded me that we had a plan to set in action, and I didn't want to waste too much time. Being in my apartment was a risk because it was a known location for the S.E.T.I. and even if according to my plan, we were safe as long as Mello's abilities were fully functioning, we weren't free from a fuck-up, on my part, mostly.  
I don't even believe they'd think we'd come back here after running away, but they would know soon...

I showered quickly. Well, as quickly as possible with Mello in the bathroom wandering around and asking me what a _certain item_ was. Yes, I used a dildo from time to time, and it was resting on the border of my sink after cleaning. Mello's reaction to my honest answer wasn't the one I expected though, I thought it would freak him out, but he asked me to show him how I used it. Which was awkward. I didn't do it.

He followed me in every task I accomplished around my apartment. When I made coffee, when I cooked scrambled eggs (with one more promise that I wouldn't buy eggs anymore after we checked on the internet to prove him that eggs were not containing chicks, and that it didn't kill any chicken to eat the eggs, which led to finding out that in hatcheries, male chicks were purely and simply crushed alive to make dog food since they wouldn't be able to produce eggs), when I ate, when I cleaned the dishes...  
I was delighted by his presence here. It made me want even more to be able to live here with him, safely. His chattering and wonder in front of small things I didn't even see anymore always reminded me how few attention I gave to things I should be grateful for...

Somehow, it was not only the fact that I was glad to be home that made me take my time this morning. I was probably unconsciously delaying the moment when I would make the call that would change everything and seal our fate. That sounded pretty definitive said like that but that's how I felt. I wanted it to work but I could feel it in my guts that maybe I was just walking us straight in the lion's den. All I wished for, even if it was awful to think about it, was for us both to die, should anything go wrong. I didn't want Mello to be captured again, or on his own if he could run away, at the mercy of a world he didn't know. And I didn't want to be left alone without him. If that happened, I knew that I wouldn't survive him.

When I was done with basic tasks, I sat on the bed, Mello sitting at my right, knowing that it was time. I grabbed my phone and lit it on. It beeped with many missed calls and received messages, that I carefully listened. There was my ex boss threatening me, unsurprisingly, in several calls. There was also Gennaro trying to reason me. Whether he was sincere or trying to buy me with the good guy strategy, I didn't care, I wouldn't trust him.

I speed dialed the number of my ex boss. He took the call almost immediately.  
Mello took my hand, entwining our fingers. He was as anxious as I was. But now wasn't the time to sound like I was losing my confidence. The boss started to yell in the receiver.  
"Cut the crap already, I am the one with the upper hand so listen to me carefully." I cut him, trying to keep my composure, "We can shake your walls and destroy the whole building, we can also cross the whole office unarmed and you still couldn't get at us, you know it all, you've seen what he can do. And you haven't even seen half of what he can do. So I don't want to hear any more threat, you wouldn't even be able to put a single one of them to execution. I want the books and his clothes back, and I want them today. If you do as I say, no one at the S.E.T.I. gets harmed.  
Then, I want the promise that you will leave us alone. If you do so, then I may consider revealing you informations that you'd die to know. Informations that would greatly advance your knowledge and understanding of outer space. That's up to you."  
"And how will I know that you're not telling me shit? You could as well make it all up to save your ass, Jeevas." My ex-boss was seething, he was in a position he hated, but he knew that I was right about the fact that they couldn't get at us with Mello's abilities.  
"If you can put two and two together, than you're smart enough to relate the informations with the proves already found here and there and see I'm not lying. As I said, it's up to you. And you have limited time to make up your mind. Actually, you tell me now." I was glad that I had managed to stay calm and collected. It had obviously made an impact.

Two hours later, Mello and me were standing in the middle of the parking lot, where I had parked everyday since I had been hired here. We simply had taken a bus, then walked there. As promised, there was a guard waiting for us to arrive at the gate, and he let us in.

I rang the boss to let him know we had arrived, and soon he was opening the door up the stairs. The same one that Mello had slain during our escape, that had obviously been replaced.  
Mello instinctively came closer to me, and I could feel him tense. He was shielding us, just as planned, just in case...

It's when I saw Jon in the background aim and shoot, and the bullet ricochet on the shield that I understood that they were deceiving us. The bastard had taken shooting lessons for sure, because he wouldn't have been able to aim that right before.  
I also saw Mello falter before shielding us again. The bullet was disturbing his magnetic wave. It was no good. Especially not when the boss and Jon had noticed that too. Fuck.

I didn't know what to do. I hadn't planned that the shield had a flaw, I hadn't planned that we'd be fucked like that, I hadn't planned the most possible scenario, and I was so mad at myself. I could feel panic rise in my guts because they were now approaching, carefully still, but approaching nonetheless, and that's when I saw, coming from the hangar, four guards armed with submachineguns, and realised they weren't actually guards but SWAT guys, and Mello held my hand stronger, and I felt the despair and the fear, and worse than everything, I felt him ready to die.  
I was the one killing him, if that ever happened. I was the only responsible for being in that trap, because I had believed that it could go as smoothly as in a movie, that we stood a chance.  
But the word of rotten people means nothing, and I should have expected that. I should have dammit!

They fired. The SWAT guys fired.  
All hope of negotiation was gone. They had never meant to give us a chance. With Mello's abilities, they knew they had already lost, should we approach them. They probably even had time to study those abilities with whatever informations they had collected from the various examples Mello had shown them.  
I saw Mello tense even more, trying to counterbalance the many bullets disrupting his shield. Then I saw him step back, each shot denting his strength.  
He was crushing my hand, like trying to find courage in me, but all I could give him was my apologies for failing him. They were ready to even kill him, their precious alien. They would probably dissect him, since that was the only way they could really study him: dead.  
And me... I was nothing, just an annoying flea to spray off the lab rat.

So I gave him the only thing I could. He tried to let my hand go, refusing to go to that extent, but we were doomed anyway. With a sad look that held all the regrets I could feel echo in me, all we would never have, all we would never live together, he tried to smile, and stole me a kiss. And then, all I could feel anymore was my heart beating, loud, my chest thumping, and a second beating joining it, and the ground began to shake.

I saw, in an instant, the Mello I didn't know well, the one I had had glimpses of only. The one with the anger and the power and the increased abilities, far beyond everything he had demonstrated until now. His eyes were pitch black, his jaw clenched, he was radiating so much heat that it was becoming unbearable for me, but I didn't care. I was focused on him, on saving him...

./.

My heart failed me, and I fell on the concrete of the parking lot. It was over so fast, I wanted to tell him one last time that I loved him, but my eyes closed before I could say anything.  
I jolted back to life. Mello's heart was beating for me. He was all at once keeping me alive, protecting us with huis shield, but I could feel his strength run thin.  
"Go..." I croaked, "To your ship, go, leave me."  
"No."  
"Mello, you go. I will die... anyway. Too late. Go..." I articulated with difficulty, the pain in my chest unbearable, "I... love you..."  
I felt my eyes close again, and my last breath leave my lungs as Mello was unable to sustain my heart anymore. I had seen a spark of determination in his eyes all of a sudden, and I knew he was about to try one last desperate thing. That's the only reason that had him really leave me here, on the ground. It was over for me anyway, and I was going with the awful certitude that I was abandoning him...

./.

I coughed as I curled on myself under the excruciating pain in my chest. There were shouts all around me, and the rain was soaking me, the ground... I tried to open my eyes.  
I saw Mello running, bullets bouncing on his magnetic shield, to the hangar. I also knew that no one was coming for me. They were letting me die here like a dog. The only reason why I was back to life again was that crazy sound wave coming from Mello. I knew that his abilities had increased even more now.  
Even in the distance, he was still trying to keep me alive while trying what he was trying to do, that I didn't know of.  
I saw the hangar's doors literally explode as Mello threw himself against them, and behind, the spaceship appeared.

He reached it, the doors sliding open now that the owner of the vehicle was there and with the knowledge of the way to use it. From that moment, I saw nothing anymore. Mello was inside of the spaceship, and it lasted several minutes.  
When he reappeared, he wasn't shielded anymore, he wasn't sustaining my heart anymore. He was empty, helpless. He had used everything he had in him, everything in me too...

The last thing I saw, and this time I knew it was really the end, was the SWAT guys line up in front of the giant hole left by the exploded doors of the hangar, and fire.  
My heart stopped. If it hadn't failed me because of my poor condition, seeing Mello pierced by hundreds of bullets, his blood staining his spaceship as his back hit it before he fell dead on the metallic floor of the hangar would have stopped it anyway...

./.

"Eshaem deverane. Elem." *_  
_

* * *

_**Note: THIS IS NOT THE ENDING!  
**I know you all want to kill me right now, but wait til next chapter before you do so :)_

* Sejaleb language. Translation in next chapter (because it would kill all my effects if I gave it to you now ;))


	23. Chapter 23

_**Note:** Ok, first, the rating is up to M (should have done that already)._  
_If you were observant enough, you knew that although Matt and Mello were dead in last chapter (and they really were, there was no trick, they really got killed), it couldn't be the end._  
_clue 1: you haven't had a proper lemon yet._  
_clue 2: this fic is not under drama._  
_clue 3: you know I hate not giving them a happy ending._  
_clue 4: since I said there are more chapters to come, and that (except the Sejaleb aside that was necessary) I only write this fic in Matt's POV well... ;)_

_The Sejaleb dialog is pure invention, although I tried to keep a slight pattern in the language. It's inspire from the Enochian language._  
_This is not Mello's language. Sejaleb is the ruling planet, the most powerful, the one that set humans on Earth, they are kind of omniscient. They speak Emaghi, Unaki, human as well as their own language, and Unaki and Emaghi know all non human languages as well. Mello can speak Sejaleb or Unaki, but as you saw, he can't speak human. Those planets have a kind of alliance, to make it short. That won't be explained so I wanted to put it there for less confusion._

As for the rewind, if you don't get what's going on, you will soon, don't worry :)

* * *

"Eshaem deverane. Elem. Selaj metem alephayn samechyod Emaghi nunchet reshdaleth iodaleph hezade taleshim."_  
_"Mejeve."  
"Doal anehem ophelim?"  
"Ophelim leasheve anelav ehjurakeh."  
"Eshaem! Anelav ophelim leasha id al hemetioh! Thesain sameth metem bethlamed doshanej! Meja ukha joaveim doa Emaghi!"  
"Mejeve."  
"Ophelim. Am eheteven...?  
"Demehaleh eheteve, oaj Emaghi ununaom, iol yvajeve Anomleh dalmej lamedeh iorajekim elem duasherej ehjura chetayom eheteven."  
"Eshaem am..."

_Stupid humans. Rewind. There's no way, even if I'm not fond of Emaghi, that we let those low lives of humans kill a higher race.  
__Done.  
__Where are his books?  
__He didn't take them this time.  
__Idiot! It's vital that he takes them! Nothing must be different in the parameters! Make him take them before he leaves Emaghi!  
__Done.  
__The books. You didn't...?  
__It was too late, he had left Emaghi already, I took the ones already on Earth to transfer them in the new reality, while the rewind wasn't complete.  
__You idiot...__  
_

* * *

I woke up to the sound of my stupid alarm clock. Damn, I had forgotten to switch it off, it was still set on the time I woke up for my job at the NASA. 7am. Damn, it was way too early for a geek on a non working day. I tried to get back to sleep but for some reason, I just couldn't.

I gave up tossing and turning, and got up, grumpy as fuck.  
Several coffees and cigarettes later, I finally found the courage to leave the kitchen counter, and settled on my couch for a few hours of gaming.

When I was tired of losing, unable to focus my attention, I found some relief under the shower, with what stood for a boyfriend these days. Yes, you name it: Hank, my sex toy. I really needed to get laid, if I couldn't even focus on games.

I left my apartment, my hair still damp. I had a whole week off, and this hadn't happen for pretty long, but I suddenly didn't see the good side of it anymore. I felt restless, when I was usually pretty chill, and for me to actually go outside on my free will when I didn't have to raid the grocery store of buy my cigarettes was holding more of a miracle.

Ah, my baby. My cherry red, shiny baby.  
She (yes she, better known as Gilda, in reference to Miss Rita Hayworth of course, same red array, same sexy curves... shall I say more?) purred to life, and I left the parking lot in the front of the apartment complex I live in.  
It was pretty hot for early April, and even if I wasn't the type to get my ass tanned at the beach (try to tan a redhead's skin...), I liked driving with my window open, wind in my face, just me and Gilda. That sweet sound of hers was enough to lull me in a comfortable lazy drive.

But she was a greedy date. After two hours, I stopped at the first station I spotted along the road and filled her up. A pack of beers, greasy snacks and junk food in my arms, I left the cashier a few minutes later, decided to drive some more and find a nice place to stop. I was by no means an outdoor person, but I had kept that habit of stopping sometimes in the middle of nowhere and have my own little picnic, like I used to do with my mom not so long ago.

She had passed away in February. I was prepared to this, she was really sick, but she was still my mom and losing her was a pain that hadn't healed yet. So I found myself, from time to time, doing things that we used to do together when I was a child. Just as a way to spend time with her memory.

After a big circle through LA, down to Garden Grove and back to the Pasadena area where I lived, I headed for my mom's favourite place at the foot of the San Gabriel Moutains and settled there, both front doors open wide, my seat backed to its maximum, my feet on the steering wheel, my beers on the passenger's seat. Life was pretty good, minus the sadness when I thought about my mother. I had always been the lonely type, but still, without her, I really felt lonely.

I gulped my beers a bit too fast, and decided to wait for a while before going back home, even if the sun was setting now. I didn't want to risk being tested for alcohol, slightly drunk as I was.  
I eventually fell asleep, and woke up because of a bright light passing through my eyelids. Damn, I had spent the whole night here? That was lucky I hadn't been found by some ill-intentioned guy or something that could bite. I tried to adjust my sight to the daylight, but it was blinding.  
It took me a while to realise that it wasn't actually daylight but a very bright spot in the distance.  
Well, not so far apparently, because when the light disappeared, and after my sight finally adjusted, I saw a huge dark form probably one hundred and fifty feet away, sharp cut against the setting sun that had almost disappeared behind the mountain.

My first reaction was to get out of my car and run to see what it was. The more I approached, the wider my eyes became.  
That couldn't be what I thought it was... or they were filming a movie around maybe?  
Oh God... Fuck... I didn't know if I should come closer or run away.  
I looked around, there was no one. I made a whole turn around the... thing, whatever it should be called, but it was all the same everywhere, just shiny, colourful metal. It looked like the rubber balls from my childhood.

There was a rectangle cut in the side, that resembled a door.  
Curiousity took the best of me, I worked at the NASA after all, and damn, that would be an awesome thing to brag about to my colleagues! If that thing wasn't a fake, because, honestly, it was just too good to be true, then we'd probably even end up with it at the centre, to study it.  
It occurred to me that maybe I should give a call to my superior and let him know about what I had just found, but over the phone, that would sound crazy, right? I bet he wouldn't even believe me. I would also sound slurry which wouldn't help. But I wasn't drunk enough to believe to a hallucination. It was really there in front of me.

I carefully touched the surface of the thing with the tip of my finger, ready for it to burn or something, but it was just cold like metal.  
I got bolder and slid my hand along the line of the door, and jumped back, my heart thumping, when it opened suddenly. Holy fucking shit...

Inside was someone.  
I wanted to runaway. I didn't want to be killed, which could happen, you never know...  
But I realised that the someone looked pretty human, even if the black fitting kind of jumpsuit he was wearing made it hard to distinguish forms in the dark. The inside of the spaceship, let's call it like this since that was what it looked like, was barely lit, but I could see he (or she, I wouldn't know) had arms and legs, and a head.

He looked at me, and it was definitely a he, I could tell by the broadness of his shoulders and the sharp angles of his overall appearance, even if he seemed pretty short. There was distress painted on his face. He didn't look hurt, but his breathing was laboured, and he was apparently close to fainting.  
My legs moved on their own accord, worried for the health of that person as I was.  
"Are you okay?" I asked when I found my voice, but he didn't reply, he had passed out.

I don't exactly know who that guy was, what he was doing here with such a strange... vehicle (spaceship was probably exaggerated, the guy was just a random guy, and that was probably some kind of freak that had built this machine on his spare time and had lost control of it, I hadn't seen it land after all, so maybe it was just a weird car). But I couldn't let him here when he was obviously not in a good shape.  
I would drive him to the nearest hospital. I would have called the ER but I would've been unable to explain where I was exactly, and it was probably urgent that he got some respiratory help at least.

I entered in the vehicle and tried to carry the guy outside, to my car. It took me a while because he was unconscious, heavy, and I wasn't particularly well furnished when it came to muscles. I left him on the ground to park my car closer, and laid him on my backseat with difficulty, covering him with my hoodie just in case he was cold or something, and went back to the vehicle to have a look around, mainly to check if he had a cell phone in here lying somewhere or anything that belonged to him that I could use to know his identity or warn someone, his family or else.  
All I found was a pile of empty notebooks, but I took them anyway, they belonged to him and I didn't want them damaged by coyotes or whatever lived here.

All in all, it probably took me not more than fifteen minutes from the moment I woke up and now I was around a mile away from the vehicle, driving down to Pasadena, when I noticed that many cars where heading up there. They must have seen the bright light, and people were curious...  
I went passed police cars, firemen, and huge black cars that seemed to belong to important people. I had almost stopped to talk to the police about my find but changed my mind when I saw those black cars. I parked along the road to watch, and more and more kept coming.

It was probably the dumbest thing to do, but I had the feeling that all that jazz going around the area was disproportioned compared to what had happened. Curious passers-by, fine, the opposite would have been surprising, the police, the firemen, why not, but so many official looking cars (I had counted seven of them at least), not so normal. So I just kept on driving with a possible criminal on my back-seat, unable to let him go.  
I'd help him, and then, if I was still alive, I'd think about the next step. Too many games, I tell you. But my life was suddenly not so dull, blame me for liking the thrill of bringing some interest into my life.

I suddenly heard a few words coming from the local radio channel I had on: "bright light, colourful UFO spotted, San Gabriel mountains..." I had it on with the sound barely audible because I just liked to drive with a background music. I rose the volume to hear the news chick better.  
"The authorities are trying to contain the excitation of the population by regular announcements and to prevent the flow of curious inhabitants of the area because the hot air balloon, which is by no means a UFO anymore since it has been clearly identified by the authorities on site with the help of the S.E.T.I., could explode any minute. A safe perimeter is being created around the balloon, and passer-bys redirected home. If you are thinking about heading there, please don't, the danger is real, and you would only make it harder for the police. Thank you for your attention."

That's when I knew that I had to drive away as fast as possible before I was asked questions about my presence here and most of all, the presence of the... whatever he was, on my back-seat.  
You don't involve the S.E.T.I., especially not enough guys to fill seven cars, for a hot air balloon. Working at the NASA, I knew a bit about how the S.E.T.I. worked, and this was big alert, not a random operation to calm the population.  
I still hoped that the unconscious guy behind me was nothing more than human, but even if he looked like it, my mind was reeling with scenarios, my imagination neverending. I tried to stop being so worked up and focused on the road.

It was lucky we were in the middle of the night, I didn't have to worry about my neighbours when I retrieved the guy in my apartment. I had a really hard time, being the twig that I am, but I managed.  
I laid him on my bed, his books on the side table, and since he was still completely out, I lit the whole room to see him better.

The shock. His face was so beautiful I felt my breath catch in my throat. That's called breathtaking, yeah...  
By the space he was taking on the bed, I could tell he wasn't much taller than me, but I could see the definition of his muscles under his suit. It was looking like matte leather, clinging to his skin like a second one, I could see the outline of a separation between the top and the bottom. It stopped at his wrists, revealing delicate hands, long fingers, but still with that angular touch that didn't leave any doubt that they belonged to a man. He had ankle high boots, and there was a bump under the fabric, on his chest, like an inner pocket or something.  
I couldn't help but stare. He was gorgeous.

But he was breathing with so much difficulty that I was worried.  
I didn't know the exact reason for it but my first idea was to bring him oxygen. Where the fuck would I find oxygen?  
I checked and the guy's heart was still beating properly so even if he couldn't breathe easily, maybe it would get better?  
Anyway, I didn't have much choice but to wait and see, for now.

I watched him for a long time, unable to peel my eyes of such a beauty. Call me a pussy, but my heart was beating faster just by the sight of him. I had never, ever met someone with such delicate traits, and still so very male, it turned me on. But maybe that was inappropriate to lust over a passed out guy... I suppose.

I grabbed the pillow on the other side of the bed, a blanket in a drawer, and tried to make myself comfortable on the couch. Whoever he was, at least he was safe, and no one knew of him (or no one would come to find him here, to the least. Was _I_ safe?


	24. Chapter 24

_**Note:** Just to reassure you, yes, this will be updated daily until completed :)_  
_And no, I won't estimate the number of remaining chapters XD_

* * *

I started to wake up, this time on my own, no alarm clock, no stress, just my second day off, and that was beginning pretty well. I stirred, until my hand hit the coffee table as I extended my arm, yawning. I jumped on my feet, suddenly remembering of my mysterious guest as I realised I was actually on my couch.

He was still laid on my bed, in the same exact position as I had left him. I hesitated to come closer, anxious that he had died during the night, but maybe he was faking sleep and he would catch me by the throat as soon as I would be close enough...  
I needed to check on him but still... what had got through me?! Bringing that stranger here with all the inherent risks, and maybe it would have been better to hand him out to the men in black, maybe he was a criminal, or he would die and they could have saved him? Oh fuck, yesterday I must have been more drunk than I thought I suppose. And now I needed to chase the sleep away from my head and get my mind clear.  
Coffee. Cigarettes. Ah, better.  
But when I exhaled the first puff and saw the smoke swirl up to the ceiling, I ran to the window to open it, realising that I could make his breathing even worse, and made sure I blew the smoke outside, sat on the windowsill.

Once I was fully awake, I decided to at least check his heart rate. He was obviously still alive from where I stood, wheezing but unconscious. I shifted from one foot to another, unable to brace myself enough but finally found the courage, ready to jump backward any second, a frying pan in my left hand while I took his pulse with the right one.  
The beating was regular. Good. His breathing was as laboured as when I had brought him here, but except that, he had no fever. The colour of his skin was very pale though, but I wouldn't know if it was a natural pale or not.

When I was done, I realised how stupid I was looking, in my boxers, a frying pan in my hand, acting like I was close to being attacked by a giant spider. I laughed at myself and went to cook breakfast.

I prepared some sandwiches that I wrapped in cling film and put in the fridge. This way, I'd have food ready if he woke up and wanted to eat. Maybe soup was better? I had cans ready to be microwaved so that should do...  
Ah, I wish I'd knew what to do with him...

I ate my scrambled eggs at my kitchen counter, from which I had a view on my whole living room, bed included. I may have quite a lot of money, but big spaces weren't my thing and my apartment was only slightly bigger than a studio: kitchen, bathroom, and a main room of good size where I had a king size bed in a corner, and the rest furnished as a real living room. Less rooms, less housekeeping. And this way I could watch my awesomely huge flat screen from my couch as well as my bed, I didn't have to move my gaming devices and stuff. Bliss in one room. Yes, I'm lazy as fuck, that's no news. But a living in plenty, lazy kind of fuck in a cosy neighbourhood. Heh, the NASA pays well...

My coworkers sometimes made fun of me because unlike them, I hadn't invested in a house with garden, garage and shit. I had no wife (never would but that's not the point), no kids, no dog, and although I was on the waiting list for a garage in the lot where I lived, I didn't mind my car sleeping under the stars for now. The place was safe, it's not like if Gilda was parked in the street like a vulgar vehicle...

Ah, my baby... I put my plate and fork in the dishwasher and walked to the window for another cigarette, looking lovingly at my cherry pie parked a few feet below.  
I pushed the curtains open completely, pestering, as a breeze flapped them in my face. Daylight bathed the whole apartment, warming up the air.  
Maybe some sunlight would do him good? Or maybe it would make him melt? Oh God I was really an idiot sometimes.

I froze once again in front of his insane beauty. How could someone be so handsome? And now that I could see his golden strands in daylight, I was even more amazed. He looked _precious_. As in, porcelain precious. Delicate and fair. Not knowing how to give him the care that he seemed to need, I hoped I wouldn't break him, though...

I got ready quickly, decided to find oxygen. That was what seemed the most probable thing he needed so I went for it. I was reluctant to leave him alone in my apartment but I didn't really have a choice...  
I made sure to close all windows and curtains and lock the door before I left, better safe than sorry. Well, that is, except if he decided to jump out of the window, they didn't have a lock. But that would be no luck if he woke up just when I'm gone...

I found a bottle or oxygen at the sports and leisure store, it wasn't that difficult, I just had to go grab one in the scuba diving aisle. The mouth plug didn't seem the best way to go though, so I stopped at the chemist to buy a mask.  
Once home, I did my best to tape all together to make a decent device that would stay in place.

The bottle had a limited length of use, but at least I would know if that helped.  
I slid my hand under his head to adjust the strap of the mask, and opened the valve slightly. It was hard to guess the right pressure, it wasn't supposed to be used like this, and you usually had to adjust the pressure of the gas coming out to the pressure of the water, the deeper the more pressure. I am no expert, but thank you Google.

He coughed, and I quickly helped him straighten to let him breathe properly. Soon the coughing calmed down, and even if he was still unconscious, I felt him calmer, breathing better, so I laid him on the pillow again, making sure he didn't roll on his side.  
That was good.  
I didn't need to open the valve fully so that would make the bottle last longer, but still, it was only a matter of two or three hours, not more. Maybe he'd feel better then, and wouldn't need any more oxygen?

Whatever I did, I kept an eye on him as much as possible. I was really anxious that something went wrong with him, or that he woke up and tried to attack me, I don't know, it was quite unnerving to be in that situation when I didn't know who he was or what were his intentions.  
I continuously slapped myself mentally for being so stupid. Who, except good ol' Matt, brings back home a guy arrived straight out of nowhere in a rubber ball kind of whatever it is as a vehicle, and thinks it's still okay to drive said unconscious guy home when he's probably dying, and when he's obviously wanted by the officials? No one, I tell you. Just me and my stupidity.  
But now that he was there, and no matter how I wanted to do just that, I couldn't throw him in the closest alley and simply get rid of him. I know I should, but I couldn't. Yes, it had to do with the fact that he was gorgeous. I suppose it helped. Should he have been ugly as fuck, his safety here would only relay on me being a good Samaritan. Ah, who am I fooling? He'd be staying anyway, I'm not that inhumane.  
I'm even probably genetically programmed for that... I mean, my mother was the kind to foster all the stray cats of the neighbourhood so...

I was also worried because I didn't know what to feed him, or if I should make him drink a bit of water. I was afraid that he would choke and get water in his lungs since he had difficulties to breathe. But he would need sustenance at some point I supposed.

I checked the news channel on TV but they hadn't mentioned the hot air balloon anymore. Like hell it was a hot air balloon... The internet said a bit more but it was all disclaimers and population brainwashing.

I probably shouldn't do that but I was really curious about those notebooks. I had inspected them all over, but they were blank, completely. Maybe he was supposed to write about his travel?

I was coming and going in my living room, too stressed out to sit and stay still. I kept on glancing at him, if not staring blatantly. I just couldn't help it. No matter how much I looked at him, I didn't get enough. I was beginning to know every detail of his face: the sharp nose, the perfectly shaped lips, the lower one a little plumper than the upper one, the slightly angular jaw, the blond lashes lining his closed eyes... damn, I wanted to know which colour they were... But I wouldn't go to that extent, no way. I'd see them soon enough, I suppose. I hope...

AH. It was driving me crazy, the wait, the fact that there were so many unknown parameters. Okay, better calm down. I didn't handle stress really well, so I tried to rationalise: one thing at a time, first let's see if he gets better even when there will be no oxygen left. If he does, good, he may wake soon after that. If he doesn't, I'll go and buy a new bottle. I wasn't fond of the idea because those things were expensive, sixty dollars for one... I could afford them, that was not the problem, well, maybe not for weeks in a row, that went without saying, but throwing my money out of the window for a stranger whom I wouldn't know if he was going to be at least grateful... I just didn't like it.  
Oh fuck, that was only money, his life was more important, whoever he was, and even if he went without a thank you once he'd be better. At least I would have done the right thing.

I checked the bottle every fifteen minutes to know the exact duration. Two hours and half later it was empty, but there was no sign of distress in the guy's breathing once I removed the mask from his face.  
Fuck, that didn't last. He had been breathing totally normally for five hours but in the evening the wheezing was back.  
I drove fast to the sports and leisure store and bought a new bottle, negotiating with the security guy for him to let me in since they were closing. I promised I would be fast, and indeed I was. Grab bottle, pay, exit.  
Just when I was about to sit in my car, the clerk from the scuba diving aisle ran after me.  
"Hey! Sir! Wait!" he shouted to catch my attention.

I was suddenly scared that I looked really suspicious with two bottles of oxygen purchased the same day. I was already trying to make up an excuse in my mind.  
"Sorry Sir, I saw you buy one this morning already, I just wanted to make sure you knew you could refill, we have a station." he panted, stopping in front of me.  
"Oh. I didn't know. I may need it in the next days so... thank you for letting me know."  
"You're welcome Sir." he nodded, walking back to the store.  
I felt pretty stupid because I still didn't know if he found me suspicious, but if he didn't, he would very soon, seeing me refill so often. Well, if I had to, I didn't really know how it would go with my mysterious stranger.

I reinstalled the mask with the new bottle as soon as I was home, and the guy breathed again correctly.  
I hoped that after the bottle was empty he would still be fine for as long as the previous time, so I could get some sleep. He would need to get more oxygen in the morning probably, but the store opening at 10am only, he'd have to wait. Damn, I should have bought more bottles, I'm so stupid...

No, what was stupid was what I was doing. This guy should be in a hospital. I wasn't concerned if he was on the run or a freak, if he had the officials on his heels it was serious. I know it was all me to set rational thoughts aside and go for the most idiot thing to do, always. Like if life was a fucking movie and I was having great adventure, and that's what had led me to bring him home. But this was just totally irresponsible and I needed to grow up.  
I'd call the police first thing tomorrow morning and they'd pick him up and that would be over.


	25. Chapter 25

_**Note:** Just wanted to point out that **SeishunChaos** made amazing fanarts for chapters 17, 22 and 24, they're awesome, check them on my profile or on the FB page XD_

* * *

I jumped out of panic, knocking my knee in the coffee table, awoken by a loud noise in my apartment. Still half asleep, I was already thinking robbery and where's my frying pan, until I located the origin of the noise.  
I lit the floor lamp next to the couch on, wary.  
Oh fuck, the guy was on the floor, moving. It had at least the merit to wake me up fully.

He was trying to crawl, pulling on the mask to get rid of it, the strap tangled in his hair, and the loud noise was either him falling from the bed, or the oxygen bottle falling down, that stuff was quite heavy. Either way, I was petrified. I didn't know if I should help or fear for myself, and I was again slapping myself mentally for putting myself in that situation.  
He rolled on his back, breathing heavily, obviously exhausted.

I approached carefully. He looked so frail... he had a stronger built than me, although he was pretty lean, but right now I found him a bit less intimidating, his hair messy, weak and helpless. I crouched, and tried to untangle the rubber band out of his hair. It was impossible like this on the floor so I pulled him in a sitting position so that I could use both my hands and see what I was doing. But he didn't have the strength to hold the position and I caught him in extremis before his head hit the floor, as he fell back. I wasn't sure if he was still conscious or not at that moment.  
I pulled him closer so he rested on my chest for support. It took me a while before I got the strap out of his hair, they were so fine, shoulder long, and it had all messed up together with the elastic band. I tried not to rip any but it was pretty difficult.

Once I was done, I carried him back on the bed. Pulled him would be a better statement, since I was unable to carry his weight. My manliness took a blow, seriously.  
The oxygen had probably helped him get better, and he had awoken, but right now I think he was out again. He wasn't reacting to anything I did, at least.  
The bottle was empty so I couldn't do much for now. I would have to wait until the sports and leisure store open to refill, and it was only in four hours.  
What was I thinking? I was supposed to call the police damnit!

But four hours later, I was getting my two bottles refilled, and bought four others. The guy in the store didn't ask me anything, but I know he ticked. Six bottles, that made two hours and half of oxygen plus approximatively five hours of rest before he started having difficulties to breathe again, times six. So a refill every two days. Which told me I wasn't anywhere close to call the police... shit.  
Fortunately, the refill was cheaper than the bottle, but still, I hoped it wouldn't last too long because if my count was right, that would cost me one hundred and eighty dollars every two days. And I hadn't counted the price of the bottles themselves, sixty each. Oh yes, I am fucking crazy, I know that. That was only a small dent in my savings though, I suppose that if I had been in need I'd have thought twice, but well, I wasn't, and I wasn't particularly tight-fisted either.

I didn't need to analyse my thought process to know that it was one hundred percent sure that I wouldn't have gone to the police or a hospital with the guy.  
I had still a gut feeling that handing him out to justice was wrong as long as I didn't know who he was, and what he could possibly have done. The weird machine he was in, the fact that he didn't have a single gun or dangerous object with him, just those empty notebooks, and... and maybe he was an alien, even if I had great difficulties to believe that theory. I mean, I work at the NASA, I have my head up in space all the time, I know that there's an eventuality that somewhere, on an unknown planet, in a different solar system, there's an Earth twin with people on it. But... yeah... hard to believe one just landed a few feet away from me on a spring night... and he looked way too human anyway. I'd imagine aliens different, maybe not like those awful big black-eyed triangle face things but different. Not the average two eyes, two arms and legs, normal face and stuff.  
Ah, that was stupid. Alien, yeah, right.

And the hospital. I wasn't keen on the idea either. It mostly had to do with my mom's stay in the nearest one. I had only learnt after she died that she didn't have a good insurance and was unable to pay for the best treatments for her cancer. I could have paid for it. I could understand that she was too proud to tell me, but the hospital knew where I worked, fuck. They should have told me. I would have given everything I had, she was my mom for God's sake!  
So yeah, I resented them for not being ethical, health wise. If you know the family can pay, you don't hold the information secret and lower the quality of the treatment.. I visited her everyday, it wasn't like we weren't close, they knew me, they could have hinted me about the situation...

The following days were pretty eventless except for a few trips to refill the oxygen bottles, the clerk in the store ignoring me although it was obvious he was dying to know why I came so often, and when the week end arrived, I was facing a problem: I couldn't go back to work and leave the guy alone in my apartment. No way.  
My boss would probably hate me for this, but I called him to ask for an extension of my days off. Surprisingly, he didn't mind at all, and allowed me two weeks more. Even calling on a Saturday hadn't bothered him although I was supposed to go back to work in less than forty-eight hours. Then I remembered that he had offered me to take more than a week in the first place since I had barely taken three days off for my mom's death, and had mostly all my days off from last year to take before May anyway. I suppose he preferred me to take those holidays than have to pay them to me... Good.  
I just hoped that it wouldn't last two weeks before the guy was on his feet and able to leave...

Each time I had to leave the apartment, I was scared to come back to a fully functioning killer waiting for me behind my door, and it stressed me, really. If I had been able to put the frying pan in my bag, I would probably have done it.  
It was lucky none of my floor's neighbours saw me every time I came home, going with my little ritual: unlock door, open and push and step back, just in case. I entered my apartment only when I could spot the guy still on the bed.  
It made me laugh each time because I'd most certainly be a very lame James Bond. At least I could pull sexy, if not super spy skills. Yeah, sure. As sexy as a geek can be. Close to zero.

The guy woke up sometimes, and I could define a pattern after a while. He used to wake up after one hour of a new bottle. I still tried to lessen the frequency of the bottle changes because I noticed that his breathing got better with time, so if I could save a bit and maybe get him to be able to breathe without any help in the end, that would be the best for everyone. Well, when I say wake up, I mean that he showed signs of awakening, I didn't really know if he was conscious or not, but he moved.

During the day, I kept watch over him, and could usually be at his side before he hurt himself or fell off the bed.  
During the night... not so much. If I had ever complained about my lack of muscles, that wouldn't last. I had carried/pulled him back into bed more than I can count.  
I couldn't avoid the bruises he did to himself, and pushed the side table away from the bed but he still knocked his head against the oxygen bottle on a regular basis. I used all the pillows from the couch to make a safe landing at some point, because it saddened me to see him do that. He looked to me like a baby bird falling from a nest and too weak to get back into it.

I hadn't paid attention at first, but the day he really opened his brow bone when he fell, I noticed that in the evening, so a couple hours later, not more, the wound was already healing. I mean, it was still there, but it was a red line, nothing more, when anyone would still have it swollen and barely starting to close. That's when I also saw that all the bruises had gone. Those things took days to disappear, how could it...?

Now that was weird. I have to say that it, of course, fed the alien theory. I didn't want to believe it but it was still very not human to heal so fast.  
And he hadn't eaten or drank in thirteen days. I just... I don't know. That wasn't normal. I mean someone can go without eating or drinking if they're unconscious, but they'd lose condition, they'd die even, I suppose, I don't know... He just stayed the same. He didn't seem to suffer from it, and I had to admit that now that his breathing became more and more regular, and the wheezing had almost vanished, he even looked healthier, like, less pale.

On the Thursday morning of my second week off, I found him curled up in a ball, on the floor. The cushions had been pushed away, the empty oxygen bottle had fallen and rolled further down the foot of the bed, mask discarded, and I could only see his back and butt, arms over the head and legs folded under himself. There was still a light breathing movement, but he was just a black mass now. Oh fuck. Was he in some kind of larva mode and in the process of morphing into something? Something horrible?  
Panic took over me. What if it really happened? I could already see myself either devoured, my blood staining the whole room, my guts on the floor, or raped and forced to bear alien babies.  
And I laughed. Seriously Matt... stop being stupid.

On Saturday morning, the guy hadn't moved an inch so I abandoned the idea of refilling the oxygen bottles. The guy's breathing was still even so he wouldn't need any more apparently. I carried them all in the cellar assigned to my apartment, in the basement. That would declutter my living room.  
When I came back from downstairs, I realised that it was actually hotter in my apartment than outside, although the heaters were off. I opened a window, it was really getting hot in here. I verified that the heaters were effectively off, and they were. I checked the oven and any device that could produce heat, but everything was normal. Weird...

It's only when I went to bed around midnight that I realised that it was the guy who was radiating heat. I had thought I could take my bed back since he didn't seem to be moving from the floor anytime soon, he'd been there for two days already, and my back was dead from sleeping on the couch.  
I was scared shitless, there, sat criss crossed at the border of my bed, realising that the guy was like a heater at full power, rolled in a ball which, let's face it, wasn't any kind of normal, that he didn't seem to need sustenance, that he was some kind of terminator when it came to healing, and that he was in my fucking apartment.

What had I done? Oh shit, what had I done?  
I couldn't take it anymore. Doomed for doomed, whatever happened, I couldn't sleep next to the enemy, and I had to find a way to release the fear, because it was driving me crazy right now. I didn't handle stress well, I said it. Like, really badly in fact.  
I carefully inspected him, and, with care, I touched his shoulder. Nothing happened, except that he was burning hot. Damn, maybe he was just dying with a fever and I was imagining the most stupid things...  
I tried to reach his forehead but it was impossible. I took his wrist to check his pulse, since that was the only area I had access to. That and his butt but 1) he was fully dressed, 2) even if he wasn't, I wasn't close to stick a thermometer there.

He didn't move either. His pulse was regular. But as I put my palm flat on his back, making sure he was breathing properly, I felt a slight shift. I started, and as I did so, I felt my hand being caught. I yelped and tried to yank it away but it was too late, the guy was holding it in his own.


	26. Chapter 26

I think I was close to wetting myself when I realised I really couldn't free my hand from his grasp. I pulled as hard as I could but I felt like it was about to break. It hurt. Bad. I couldn't even scream, I was so shocked that I had lost my voice.  
I simply stopped resisting out of pain, but I could feel the tears threaten to fall. I didn't know what he would do to me, but all I could comprehend right now was that he was much stronger than I was. I mean, he was close to crushing my hand but he didn't even seem to force his hold on me, so who knew what he could do to me? All he wanted, that was for sure, I wasn't even close to being in a position to counter attack. As hard as I had pulled, used my other hand or pushed, he had barely moved under my actions.

But his hand was so warm... all of him seemed to be, actually. I had no clue about what was happening. He was gripping my hand but otherwise, he didn't move anymore. The same calm breathing, the same curled up pose, and me knelt to his side, forced to stay here.  
I felt his hold lessen and took that as my cue to retrieve my hand, but I hadn't even tried that he was tightening it again. Damn, was he reading in my mind or what?

I don't know how long it lasted, but I could feel my thighs get numb, and my eyes close by themselves. After the surge of fear and all the emotions attached, I was feeling pretty exhausted. That and I had been knelt here for almost two hours.  
My head shot up when I felt myself fall asleep. At the same moment, the guy let go of my hand.  
I brought it back to my chest, wary, but he still wasn't moving.

I crawled into my bed, and I woke up the next morning not even remembering falling asleep so fast.  
If I had lost my voice the previous day, I obviously had found it again this morning. I properly shrieked, in the least manly possible way, when I sat on the border of my bed, scratching my scalp, didn't see the guy curled up in a ball on the floor but two feet instead, looked up and found him standing just right in front of me, staring at me intently.

I almost fainted. Holy fucking shit. How long has he been planted there? _Okay, calm down Matt. You're obviously still alive although he's awaken so there's a chance that things stay that way_. I blinked several times, trying to adjust my sight to daylight, the sun coming directly in my eyes from the window which curtains had been left open.  
"Huh... hi?" I squeaked, standing up from the bed.  
"Hello..." he replied.

Huh. Damn. Fuck, those eyes... I was completely swallowed by his eyes. They were so clear it could barely be called blue. They were insane. And I was gaping. The guy was just the most handsome guy I had ever seen. Handsome didn't even do justice to how beautiful he was. Yes, beautiful. It was simply rendering me speechless.  
He didn't speak either and I didn't want to make him uncomfortable, I mean, people must stare at him, like, _all the time_.

So I broke the silence in the end.  
"I don't want to sound rude but... who are you?" I asked.  
He kept on staring at me but I saw a flick of hesitation in his eyes, and he made a step toward me.  
"Wow. Easy." I raised my hands in protest, afraid that he'd catch me again or something.  
He stopped and simply held out his hand to me, palm up.  
I took it that if he had wanted to harm me, he'd have done it already, and gave him my hand since I think that it's what he wanted from me.  
Like if he knew about my reservations, he barely held my hand, just enough so our palms touched. It became so warm all of a sudden that I withdrew my hand, but he stepped closer and took it back. It was done so gently that I let him do.

He suddenly seemed to concentrate, and after a few seconds, he whispered: "Who..."  
He has his eyes closed, his warm hand holding mine, and he repeated: "Who..."  
"Who are you?" I said again. It was pretty weird.  
He opened his eyes and, hesitantly, he spoke: "Name... Mello."  
"Well then, hello Mello. I'm Matt." I replied. Yeah, I was introducing myself like if that was the most normal encounter in the world... This guy seemed so harmless, all my barriers were falling. Call me stupid but there was such an innocence emanating from him that I suddenly felt only intrigued, all the fear was gone.  
There was still a voice in the back of my mind that was telling me that he was probably playing me but 99.99% of me just wanted to ignore it.  
"Matt."

I... Damn. I don't know what happened in me the moment he said my name. It was all at once a fuzzy feeling spreading from deep inside of me, and an impression of deja-vu.  
Weird.  
"Yeah... errr... Mello. Care to tell me what exactly happened at San Gabriel with your... vehicle, and what it is actually? I mean, there were officials after you so..."  
I stopped. It was obvious that he didn't get a single word of what I was saying.  
"Do you speak English?" I couldn't be sure, he knew a few words but maybe he didn't know more than that...

He concentrated again. Okay, there was something going on with the heat and the physical contact, and that was starting to freak me out.  
Mello, still holding my left hand, used his right one to show our hands, then his forehead, then mine: "Learning."  
"Okay, stop fucking around, I'm being serious here Mello." I couldn't believe that. That was just way too crazy and we weren't in a freaking movie, "I brought you here because you seemed to need help but if you're playing me you can simply leave, you seem to be fine now anyway." I freed my hand from his grip, raising both in exasperation and heading for the window for a much needed smoke.

Mello followed me with his eyes but didn't move. I just didn't know what to do. Was he really unable to speak and understand English? What with the whole shit with the vehicle, the officials, the S.E.T.I. even, the heat, the strength, the breathing, the weird attire, the fact that he hadn't eaten or drank anything in almost two weeks, let alone gone to the bathroom or something, he was as clean as when I had found him when any normal person would smell awful and need a good dose of shampoo...  
I closed my eyes for a brief moment, feeling a headache coming.  
I started when I felt a hand on my arm.  
Oh... the look in his eyes. It did something to me, I have to admit it. There was sadness and fear, and something akin to hope, too.  
"Matt. Me... no... no hurt you."  
I crushed my cigarette butt in the ashtray on the windowsill, standing up.  
"Mello, where do you come from?"  
After a few seconds, he replied: "Emaghi."  
"Where is Emaghi?"  
"Not here." he said. Well yes, thank you, that was stating the obvious... "Here, three. Me, four."  
"What?"  
"Here, planet three, me, planet four."  
Holy crap.

"Mello, that's a bit too much right now, I mean, are you expecting me to believe you?"  
"Yes. Believe me. Truth." Mello's hand was still on my arm and the more we talked, the more he seemed to get what I was saying, although his own speech was still very limited. Which didn't help believing that he couldn't speak English from the beginning, because no one learns so fast.

"Okay, so what you are telling me right now is that you are an alien?" I chuckled. That was nonsense.  
He closed his eyes for a few seconds, then looked at me again: "Yes. Alien. From Emaghi, planet four."  
"Well, I'm sorry alien Mello but the fourth planet of our solar system is Mars and we've been there already, there's no one there and..."  
"No." he cut me, "No Mars. Emaghi. Mars five."  
"Oh great, and how come no one knows about... Emaghi? An unknown planet that has people on it, how weird no one ever discovered it, huh?"  
"Matt. You... no believe."  
"What did you expect? If you want someone to believe your little story, make it more credible because you're far from it right now."

Mello looked at me with determination: "Me... I... prove."  
"You wanna prove it to me? Okay, go ahead." I was slightly amused. The guy really thought he could make me believe his bullshit.  
"Where... where me... where my... spaceship?"  
"Oh, so that's a spaceship! Great!"  
"Where?"  
"Last time I saw it, it was at the foot of San Gabriel."  
"We go."  
"Alright." I played along, after all, it was pretty funny, "But you're not going dressed like this, I assure you."

I grabbed a pair of jeans and a tee shirt in my wardrobe, he was slightly taller but not more than one inch, and even if more muscular, he was thinner, actually, so that should do. I wasn't really planning to leave but if he changed clothes, I could check him out. Not in _that_ way. I wanted to know if he had some difference that would just prove the incredible, because no, he wasn't an alien, come oooon... I was also thinking tattoos, scars, birthmarks, maybe I'd be able to see something that could get him identified with a few researches.  
"Take your wetsuit off and put these on, I don't want to get noticed with a scuba diver on my passenger's seat."  
He didn't get it at first, so I used simpler words: "Take your clothes off, put these instead."  
He undressed, totally unashamed of being naked in front of me. Since he didn't seem to mind his state, I watched blatantly. Heh.  
Mmh... he was really good looking, _everywhere_. But he had nothing that could count as a distinctive mark. His skin was smooth and flawless.  
It's only when he pulled the jeans up that I realised I hadn't given him underwear. But he didn't seem to have some to begin with so...  
I handed him a pair of socks, and old green converses I found at the bottom of my wardrobe. They belonged to an ex boyfriend that was unlikely to come get them back.  
"Do they fit?" I asked as he slipped them on.  
Mello looked at me and stood up. I don't think he got my question, but they seemed to fit.

"Okay, let's go." I said, heading toward the door.  
Mello followed me, but just as I was about to go out, I closed the door, turned around and look at him. There was no hesitation in his behaviour.

I took his hand since he seemed keen on it to speak, "You would really go out? I mean, with all these people after you?" Somehow, I was beginning to think that he wasn't lying, but that disturbed me greatly, to say the least.  
"Who... after me?" He gave me a questioning look. He had no idea what I was talking about. Damn.  
"When I drove from your... spaceship down to Pasadena, with you passed out on my backseat, there were officials... errr... the police, the S.E.T.I. … they are people that study signals from space, to make it short, they were all headingh to where your spaceship was, and the news kept on saying that your spaceship was only a hot air balloon, so there was obviously something going on. You really didn't know?"  
"No..." he whispered.  
"'kay... I suppose I believe you." I sighed, "But that still doesn't mean you're an alien. I don't believe that."

Mello seemed to think for a moment.  
He got rid of the clothes I had given him, and put his own back on. I thought that he was about to leave, and I realised that I didn't want him to go. There was too many unknown parameters and I wanted to at least know the truth. He owed me that.  
But he came close to me, and held out his hand to me. I took it, thinking that he wanted to tell me something, but... HOLY SHIT! I looked around me, totally shocked. How did he do that?


	27. Chapter 27

One second we were in my living room, standing close to my entrance door, the second after we were in front of my kitchen's window.  
I thought I would faint. I breathed deeply, feeling my legs tremble, and finally managed to get a hold of myself.  
"What the fuck was that?!" I squeaked.  
Mello seemed to search for the right words, then finally said: "Teleportation. You not believe me alien, I prove. Not teleportation on Earth. I know."  
"Okay... errr... sorry I think I need a smoke right now..." I was shaken, to say the least. I lit a cigarette and stayed there, supporting myself on the windowsill, trying to let everything sink in. That was way too crazy, and even with the evidence, I just couldn't believe Mello was an alien. I was, compared to the average guy, more prone to believe in aliens, I mean, I worked at the NASA and was really interested in space stuff, UFOs stories and such, and I still couldn't admit it. It was, more than the incredible proves themselves, the fact that believing meant that there really was some other people out there, like a threat over my little comfortable world.

"Damn..." I muttered to myself, crushing the butt of my cigarette in an ashtray and going back to the living room, "Why is it that no one on Earth knows about your planet? E... Emaghi right?"  
Mello followed me. "Yes. Emaghi. We hide."  
He explained to me the best he could the way they hid, and the fact that there were other planets we didn't know about, two exactly: Sejaleb and Unaki.  
I had so many questions, even if I still only half believed him. But his broken English made it difficult for him to speak so I tried not to make him confused and kept it simple.

We spent the day talking. He told me why he didn't need to eat, why he didn't need to clean either, how he had arrived there. That was a good start.  
At some point, hearing noise near the elevator outside, I asked him to put back on the clothes I had given him just in case someone would show up (even if except the mail man there was few risks of this happening, but better be safe than sorry), I didn't want to have to explain the wetsuit, although it would go pretty well with the oxygen bottles I had in the cellar... and as he did, something fell from the jeans' pocket: my mother's locket.  
Damn, I thought I had lost it.

Mello picked it up, and I saw his face go from blank to extreme sadness. He looked at me, his fingers closing on the pendant: "Mother..." he said.  
"Yes, it belonged to my mother, she died a couple weeks ago..."  
I took the locket from his hand and opened it, before giving it back to him to show him the pictures inside. As I did so, our hands touched, and he started, then caught one in his own. Suddenly, he was crying.  
"Father... dead?"  
"Yes, he's dead too."  
Mello stared at me, and I could feel my eyes sting under his intense sadness.  
"My parents. Dead." he whispered.  
"Oh..."

I didn't know what to say. He had known it was my mother's locket just by touching it, and if I had needed one more proof... well I had it.  
I gave a squeeze to his hand, I had no words but I wanted to make him understand that I knew how he felt. He looked so lost at that precise moment, I couldn't deny the fact that he seemed sincere, and that maybe it was time to stop doubting, because as crazy as it appeared to be, I had no good reason against it, and all proves for it.

"Mello, why did you come to Earth? Did you get lost or something?" I finally asked.  
"Me... I... I want to know..." he began, but he couldn't find the words. I took his hand and led him to the couch so we could sit, and actually kept his hand in mine to help him.  
He closed his eyes, and the warmth was suddenly back. A few seconds later, he went on: "I want to know love. Not lost, I come on Earth for love."'  
He explained to me how they mated on Emaghi, how his mother had given birth to him too early because his father died, how there was no one for him, how the planet was ruled (by a sick bastard, to my opinion), how he worked and observed Earth, how he had discovered about love and how it almost cost him his life... Damn, they were ready to put him down, talk about an advanced race...

Mello taught me a lot about his planet, and I only noticed how much time had passed when I saw that it was starting to get dark.  
"I suppose that you won't eat, but I'm starving." I chuckled as my stomach rumbled. I stood up and went to the kitchen to cook myself something quick. Mello followed me, very interested in everything I was doing.

I ate at the kitchen counter with Mello facing me. Somehow, I didn't feel uncomfortable in his presence. His look on things was so innocent that what would have been awkward with any stranger wasn't with him. Or at least less.  
I asked him a lot of questions, and he tried to reply the best he could.

Mello had explained to me the mating and such, so we had soon converged from him wanting to find love to how unfair I found Emaghi's system to be. I wanted to know more and brought up the topic again, hoping I wasn't making him uneasy with too intimate questions.

"How do you plan on finding love? I mean, you're not ready to go out in the real world, it would be way too dangerous... I'm sorry to say it like that, but did you really think you'd blend among humans?"  
"I... don't know." Mello was so naïve, it was touching. Okay, yes, I admit it, there was something about him that I found quite attractive, and it was not only about his looks, although they would suffice to anyone by themselves.  
"I'm not even talking about the way you were dressed, and the fact that you don't speak English fluently, but... you have no clue about how things work on Earth, you'd get abused pretty quickly, given that the officials don't get their hands on you... who knows what they would do..." I lit a cigarette, "... probably dissect you or something."  
Mello looked at me with wide eyes. I'm not sure he liked the idea.

"And what with the fact that you can barely touch people aside from hands or arms? I mean, if you've seen how people interact with each other when they are together, how are you going to go about it? You want love but no physical contact? Believe me, that is very unlikely to happen, people touch each other, they fu... have sex together, there's a lot of physical contact."  
"I... don't know."  
"No offence but I think you have to think about it, like, seriously, because I don't see how you're gonna make it."  
"I..."  
"Yeah, you don't know, I got that..." I sighed, "All I'm sayin' is you will have to touch people, there's no solution other than that. Get over your issues man, that's the best you can do."

Mello stood up from his seat, walked around the kitchen counter, and planted himself in front of me. I barely had time to turn on my stool and face him, wondering what he wanted, that he hugged me. It was over in two seconds, as he stepped backward, letting go of me. He looked scared.  
"What the hell man!" I protested, "Why the fuck did you do that? And don't tell me that you don't know!"  
"I... touch you."  
Oh shit. I suddenly felt really bad for shouting at him. He was confused now, and this was all my fault. Mello took things literally, and I had to choose my words better if I wanted him to understand what I meant.  
"Mello, I meant, you have to get used to touch and be touched, but not with me... I'm not your boyfriend, we're still strangers even if it's been quite some time that you're crashing in my apartment, you can't just touch people like that, you have to know them..."  
"Why you save me?" Mello suddenly asked.  
"Huh..." I scratched my head, wondering if the guy had ADD or something, for jumping outright from one topic to another.  
"You save me. Me stranger, you scared but you save me. Why?"  
"I... don't know." Ah fuck, that was his line, not mine, "You were in a pretty bad shape, what kind of person would I be if I had left you there? I mean, you could have died or something..."  
Yeah, I could have driven him to a hospital, I could have handed him out to the Police, and I didn't. And he knew it. He may not be able to speak English properly but he got a lot anyway, my mind was just an open book to him.  
"You careful. I understand. Stranger scary, alien scary. But you good person. You save me... even... if others want me." he took my hand, but there was no warmth this time, he was simply holding it for no reason, but it did something to me. "You don't trust others... without... knowing me. You give chance to me. I feel you good inside. Even with shouting and angry with me, you still good."

I burst out laughing. Mello got the point for sure, I had been an ass.  
"I'm sorry, I was rude, I didn't mean to, it's just... complicated, I don't really handle well stress and people in general, and that's a bit too much for me right now. I'm really sorry Mello, I apologise."  
I slid from my stool, still holding his hand, and gave it a light squeeze. That's when I felt his palm get warm again. He was looking at me with a look I couldn't define, like if he was searching for something in my eyes. I... fuck, I don't know if it was because I was tired or slightly troubled by all this, but seeing him so gorgeous, my mind wandered a bit too far. It's only when Mello released my hand that I thought about the fact that he could probably read that, too. Fuck.

"I want to know you." Mello said suddenly.  
I was already walking to the living room, thinking about going to bed, and stopped mid-yawn. I turned around, dumbfounded.  
"What do you mean?" I frowned, not sure I understood what Mello implied.  
"You say I know people before I touch. I want to know you."  
That was cute. But wrong on so many levels.  
"Okay." I simply replied. I was over with ruining his expectations for tonight. If I felt troubled, what about him? He probably had it a lot worse, and I had to be careful. I couldn't speak casually or act normal with him, I had to adjust to his own understanding of things, because as naïve as he was, his innocence was something I had never met, and it touched me. A lot. I didn't want to ruin that, that was way too precious. He'd have it ruined soon enough once he'd understand where he'd landed...  
I suddenly even wanted to preserve it. But maybe that wasn't such a good idea, I mean, I was getting involved more than I wanted. That couldn't be a good thing. I probably didn't have the shoulders for such a thing. I could take care of myself but that was about all, so I wasn't so sure I'd be able to carry the weight of his dreams...

I gave pyjamas to Mello, and we went to bed. I made sure not to touch him, but I was done with the couch, and I was sure we could act as adults and sleep in the same bed. It was huge enough for three anyway. What was great with him was that he just went along with anything as long as he didn't see anything bad in it. That made things a lot simpler because my back hurt too much to keep on sleeping on the couch and I didn't want Mello to try the lack of comfort of my couch either.

"Not tired?" I asked him when I saw him pretty alert, sat on the bed and looking around my apartment.  
"No. Humans sleep more, I don't sleep much."  
"Oh. Do you want to read a book or something? Ah, but you probably can't read..." Well, I had some old magazines in my side table that didn't require to be able to read to understand the pictures, if you see what I mean, but I wasn't sure he wanted to see that. Especially since I thought he was straight. I wouldn't know, but the way they mated on his planet, it was always heterosexual so... my gay porn would probably be of no help with his touching issues.  
It would have been with mines right now though... Ah shit. Forget it Matt.

When I woke up the next morning, Mello was standing by the window, a few feet away from the bed, staring outside. He looked at me when he heard me shift in the bed, then resumed staring at whatever he was staring.  
I got up, curious. It looked extremely interesting to him.  
In the distance, the mail man, on his bike, was going from house to house to deliver mail.  
"Letters." Mello whispered.  
"Yes. Expecting one?" I chuckled, smiling to him.  
"No paper on Emaghi." he replied, like if my question was actually the most serious thing.  
"Oh? Then what are your books made of?" I looked at the pile of three books on the side table.  
Mello turned to face me and took my hand. After a few seconds, he explained that it was synthetic skin, and how it was used.  
"Books are synthetic skin. It keeps informations when you touch. Father touches and the informations, words, thoughts, are in the page. Mother touches page and she reads and she knows what father says to her. He says he loves her in different ways. After she reads, she forgets. It is safe."  
"She forgets? How?"  
"She just can. We all can. Selection of informations. Deletion. She reads, and she forgets, so she never leaves home with informations. Because others touching her or father know what is inside them and know they love. Dangerous. But she can read again when she wants. When father dies and after."  
"I see..." Now I understood the importance of those books.  
"But... I steal spaceship and guards after me and books fall, I have no books with me. But you find them. I don't understand."  
"What? You mean you left your planet without the books, and they're still with you anyway?"  
"Yes."  
"Are you sure? You're probably confused with all that happened to you I suppose. They're here so obviously you took them with you."  
"I don't understand." Mello repeated. It seemed to disturb him quite a lot, but he didn't say more.

I showered quickly, and when I was back, Mello was dressed with the clothes I had given him.  
"Seriously, it's pretty sad that you can't eat because, let me tell you, my pancakes are the best." I teased him as I grabbed a bowl and a beater in the kitchen.  
Half an hour later, I was full, sipping my coffee with Mello asking me various questions about stuff in my apartment. It was entertaining, to say the least. He was like a child somehow, and I was starting to get used to his presence, and even appreciate it. I had been really lonely lately, and it seemed even more obvious to me now that Mello was here.  
I didn't plan on letting him go anyway, that would be too risky for him as long as he couldn't take care of himself alone, and somehow, saving him made me responsible, at least a bit. He didn't look like he wanted to go anyway, he didn't even question it, and I found myself hoping he liked being here too.


	28. Chapter 28

_**Note:** I know it's taking time for things to happen but they're starting like new so there's a bit of setting things in place again to do ;)_

* * *

I still had one complete week of holidays, and an alien to take care of. I was slightly worried about what would become of him once I had to go back to work and he'd be on his own. I wasn't so sure that I wanted him to stay at my place while I wasn't in. But I couldn't take him to work with me either, and letting him go out alone was a big no-no as well. I suppose that I didn't really have a choice but to get to know him as fast as possible to know if I could trust him, to acquaint him about the dos and don'ts, and hope that my apartment wouldn't be ruined or Mello in trouble when I got home. Given that he wanted to stay, but at some point I suppose that he would want to go and search for love. I had no idea how he'd do that though. It's not as if he could subscribe to a dating site and meet people or go on a chase in a club, or whatever. He could learn how to look human in his behaviour, I could teach him that, but then? Wouldn't it be all a lie if he found someone and couldn't tell this person who he really was?

But for now, I needed to go grocery shopping. And that would be a good test for Mello.  
"Mello..." I began, feeling like if I was about to repeat rules to a child before going to the store. But that wasn't about tantrums and running around the aisles, that was a lot more complicated than that. Oh crap, I'd do awful with kids, "Mello, the best way to go is, you don't talk to anyone but me, you don't reply to people when they talk to you, let's say you're from... errrr... I don't know, blonde, blue eyes... Russia... no, Finland. Finland is good, we're more unlikely to run into Finns than Russians, so we can always say that you only speak Finn and barely English. You stay with me, if you want to ask me something, you talk into my ear so no one hears, and hmm, I think that's all."  
Mello stared at me, not saying a word.  
"Is that okay with you?" I asked, making sure he got everything I said.  
"Yes."  
"Good, let's go." I grabbed my wallet, my car keys, and locked the door once Mello had followed me out.

Mello was looking everywhere, by the windshield, the side window, and I tried to drive slow enough so he could see better. I had decided to go to the supermarket on the other end of the city, to make sure I wouldn't meet anyone from the neighbourhood. No need to catch attention as long as I didn't know of Mello's reactions with other people.  
I parked and took a trolley.  
Mello stayed by my side like I had told him to, but I could tell he was fascinated. It was Monday so luckily everyone was at work, and the supermarket was pretty empty.

I grabbed various things along the aisles, but when we reached the meat, I saw Mello's face turn to curious to horrified.  
"Animals." he stated, averting his eyes, "Dead animals."  
Useless to say that I didn't buy any. It seemed to hurt him to see that display so I quickly went away, turning in the pet food aisle.  
Mello froze in front of the cat food and turned to look at me. He obviously wanted to ask me something, and came closer.  
"Cats in bag?"  
I laughed out loud. "No Mello, it's food for cats, people have cats in their home, this is food for the cats." I explained.  
The relief on his face was obvious. Poor Mello thought that bits of cats were sold in those packs of dry food. He really seemed to have a problem with dead animals.  
"Why human eat animals, not all animals?"  
Ah. This would be something I'd have a hard time explaining. It didn't make sense, not only from Mello's point of view but in general. That was true, we ate some species and not others, and from a country to another, species changed.  
"Do people on Emaghi eat animals?" I asked him, making sure there was no one around to hear.  
"No animals on Emaghi. No need. We don't eat animals, animals make pollution, we don't have animals."  
"Makes sense. But even if you don't have them, you seem pretty sad to know we eat them, don't you?"  
"Animals kind. I see dogs, cats, birds in telescope. Beautiful birds. Humans play with dogs and cats."  
I smiled to him, and bought some more food that didn't contain animals in them. I felt guilty now, great.

We reached the leisure area, Mello unable to know where to look.  
I checked new games, but they were behind with new releases, which wasn't surprising for a supermarket. I was about to leave when I saw Mello staring at the book display.  
"These are for children." I told him, "You can't read, right?"  
"No." he whispered, glancing at me before giving his whole attention back to one specific book.  
I took it from the rack: "If you give a mouse a cookie." I smiled to Mello, who wouldn't take his eyes off the cover, "That's the title." I added.  
I couldn't really define his expression at that moment, but he looked like if he was thinking real hard, and very confused.  
I took the book from his hand, and put it in the trolley. Mello gave me a puzzled look.  
"Let's buy it." I winked.  
"Why?"  
"You seem to like it."  
"Yes. I don't know... why."  
"Then let's buy it."  
"Why?"  
I think I had to explain the whole concept of "I like, I buy" to Mello.  
"You can't stop looking at the book, you seem to like it, so I buy it for you. At home you can remove the plastic and see what's inside." Mello really didn't get it, "This is a present for you." I really didn't know what more to say to make him understand.  
Mello took my hand, unable to get it and started to search in me for an answer.

It lasted a minute, maybe two. What was so difficult to understand, I didn't know, but suddenly his expression changed to something still puzzled but different. Like... softer.  
"No present on Emaghi. No word like thank you. I understand present now. Thank you, Matt."  
And then he smiled.  
And I think I died a little inside...  
"You're welcome." I replied after a few seconds, feeling like I had melted to a puddle.  
Damn, that smile... I mean, he was already fucking gorgeous, but smiling... that was something.

On the way home, the traffic was insane in the center, it was past noon and I suppose that everyone was either on their way home from school or work, so I decided to take the highway and do a full circle to reach the other end of the city where I lived.  
Fuck. Seemed like everyone had had the same idea, and I hardly managed to insert my car between another one and a truck at the slip-road. At least I could drive faster than in town here, it was a matter of twenty minutes to the most.

I was merely going at 60 miles/h and decided for a smoke since I couldn't pass the truck in front of me, each line so dense that there was no way I could jut out of mine. It was probably for the better, I wouldn't have to slalom to exit the highway since I was already at the far right.  
I transferred my attention from the road to my lighter for a split second, and as I was setting my eyes on the road again, the truck was closer than it had been the moment before. Way too close, like, stopping to a halt right in front of me, and I didn't have the time to brake.  
But everything just stopped. My car stopped right behind the truck, violently bumping. My heart was pounding, damn, that was close! I got really scared, to say the least.

I took a few seconds to register what had happened. I hadn't even slowed down the car, let alone had the time to brake, and even if I had, the distance between my car and the truck was way too short to give me time to come to a halt like that.  
I looked at Mello, making sure he was okay. He had probably been scared too, and it was lucky I had made sure he had his seatbelt on. He was perfectly fine, totally calm even. No, concentrated.  
"Hey, are you okay?" I asked, touching his arm to catch his attention. He was focused on the truck in front of us, and I was surprised when I felt how warm he was against my palm.  
"Yes." he replied, but I could tell he was preoccupied.  
"What happened exactly?" I asked him, because I sensed that there was something with him.  
"I... protect."  
"You did that?" I was stunned.  
"Yes. I don't know... how. I never do before."  
"You have special powers or something?"  
"Yes." Mello simply replied.

Horns were blaring behind me and I realised that the line was moving again.  
"This is fucking awesome, even if you don't know how you did it!" I was excited, that was adding to all the rest, the teleportation and everything, and I wanted to know more, but Mello had no clue how he did it.  
He explained to me how everyone on Emaghi could do a lot of amazing stuff but that he hadn't learnt how to, because his father died before he was born, and he should have been the one to teach him.  
I think it had something to do with the urgent situation or adrenaline, and it had been trigger unconsciously.  
Anyway, that was fantastic!

I was a lot more careful during the rest of the drive, and once in the parking lot of my building, Mello helped me carry the shopping bags upstairs.  
I handed him the book, ripping the plastic cover off it, so he could have a look while I was putting the groceries away.  
He sat at the kitchen counter, and began turning the pages. He had that confused expression again.  
I finished and grabbed a drink before sitting on the other side of the counter.  
"What's with the book?" I asked him, his frown still there and starting to worry me a bit.  
"I don't know." Mello muttered, still very focused on the pages, "I feel... weird feeling."  
"What do you mean?"  
"I... have weird feeling when I look book."  
"What kind of feeling?"  
"I... what word... I... good. I feel good."  
"Well, if you like something, it's supposed to feel good, yeah..." I began, but he cut me.  
"No. I feel... not like, I like book but I feel..." Mello took my hand, glancing at me before closing his eyes, "I don't know right word."

His hand became a lot warmer than a few seconds earlier, and suddenly I felt it. Wow. Just wow. He couldn't explain, so he was making me feel it. I was really at loss for words when it was over, I mean, it was totally crazy!  
I just gaped at him, knowing what he had meant for a feeling, but unable to speak, I was too shocked by what had just happened.

I took a few sips from my drink, trying to get my feet back on the ground. I finally managed to talk, Mello still holding my hand and staring at me, his expression worried.  
"Huh... errr, wow. I don't know how you do all the things you do but... wow. It's a lil' bit scary still." I chuckled.  
The word he was looking for was something like fluffy, the book was making him feel all weird inside, in a good way. I couldn't really explain more, because it was obvious he had never seen that book but it still brought some feelings to him that usually things we are fond of bring to us, like nostalgia or something, but that wasn't exactly that.

Mello spent a lot of time looking at the book. There really was something about it.  
He deposited it atop of his other books at some point, looking fondly at them all, then came to sit next to me on the couch. I had started playing games, and of course, he was now really curious.


	29. Chapter 29

_**Note:** Tomorrow's update may arrive quite late, just wanted to let you know since I just finished this chapter and have no advance on the next one. I may start it tonight, or write it tomorrow, but since I have IRL stuff to do, I may not be able to write it before the evening. But you will have your daily dose, promise! Probably around 10pm my time (Paris, France) at the latest._

_Please also note that With Every Heart Beat will not be made into a multichaptered fic in the end, I changed my mind. Check my profile for explanations ;)_

* * *

"What is... it?" Mello asked me, "The... sound."  
"The music?" Even if that could barely be called real music, Mello was actually talking about the game's theme.  
"Yes. Music. We don't have, on Emaghi."  
No music, damn.  
"I will have to make your musical education." I chuckled.  
Once his curiosity was satisfied on that topic, Mello resumed staring at the TV screen.

"Do you want to try?" I asked Mello after he watched me play very attentively for five minutes. I don't even think he blinked once. He looked at me, not sure, but I handed him the controller: "I'll show you."  
I explained him the joys of Tekken 6, and set the game on the one player mode (I didn't want Mello to ruin my perfect online score, yeah, I'm like that...).  
He quickly got it, and I was the one to observe then. He had the controller on his thighs, his fingers moving on the buttons so quickly I was jealous, and after struggling a bit with the two first characters, he ended the mode pretty quickly. I barely had time to smoke two cigarettes.

But he didn't seem to like fighting characters that much.  
"What kind of game would you like to try?" I asked him, realising that it was a pretty stupid question since he didn't know anything about games. I browsed through the various games I had on my PS3. "This one should do, you don't have to fight anyone in it."  
I gave him the controller back, launched the tutorial, and in the end I was looking at Mello more than the TV screen, he was fascinated by Harvest Moon.  
Seriously, I really enjoyed his face and big kid eyes when he played. I just lounged next to him on the couch, grabbing food or drinks sometimes or smoking. He liked the game so much, I didn't have the heart to make him stop, and he played hours in a row. He planted, sowed, took care of his animals (that's the part he seemed to like the most)...

At some point, Mello started blinking a lot more, and I realised that he was tired. I don't know what got through me, but I raised my hand, about to pet his hair to get his attention. I stopped mid-gesture, just in time. What was I about to do?  
Fuck. I perfectly knew what got through me: I was growing fond of him. Ah, no need to get all worked up, it was normal, he was like a child I was taking care of, his attitudes were cute, there was nothing more to it than that.  
He turned his head and looked at me right at that moment, questioningly. I smiled to him and spoke to make a diversion, quick.  
"Hey, starting to get tired?"  
"Yes." he replied, handing me the controller. I showed him how to save the game so he could go back to it when he wanted, and turned the PS3 off.  
"Do you want to sleep now?"  
"Yes."

I really felt like baby-sitting. Mello put his pyjamas on, and he quickly fell asleep once in bed.  
It was barely 8pm and I wasn't used to go to bed that early, so after a cigarette, I browsed the web. Of course, my first thought was to get through the same topic that had my mind preoccupied these last days: the 'hot air balloon' affair.  
Most of the news were controlled ones, and there was not a Youtube video that hadn't been removed. But I found a message board with recent messages, posted between yesterday evening and this evening. Some people were stating that they had clearly seen something that could never resemble a hot air balloon, and that it had lights that said balloon would be unlikely to have: too numerous, too bright. Some others were complaining about the censorship made on the topic and calling it suspicious, which it was, obviously. But it was difficult to find anything more. My main concern was to know if Mello was wanted or not, but there was nothing about that.

I had wanted to call colleagues to check if there was something up with the NASA or the S.E.T.I. but I wasn't close enough to anyone, that would sound weird. I had to wait to be back to work next week. But for now, Mello seemed safe.

Sat on my windowsill, with only the floor lamp on, I was smoking with my window open, worried that I was compromising his health while smoking inside. I hadn't really thought about it out of the habit of being alone here, but I'd make sure to smoke at the window from now on. Talk about being slow to figure things out...

I caught myself staring at him, dragging on my cigarette. He was sleeping peacefully, laid on his side, facing me, like if there was nothing abnormal in his life. My heart tightened for some reason. Was he really unaware of the dangers of his situation? He was taking most things pretty well, he wasn't even a weight for me, all seemed to roll as if things were meant to be that way. How much acceptance can humans make proof of? That's what came to my mind at that moment. Not speaking of Mello as an alien in the middle of humans, because it was more than likely that he'd be like a circus animal, but as anyone accepting things that are happening, one at a time, with no ulterior motive, no prejudice, just dealing with the present in all honesty, being oneself.

My train of thought lasted a few moments. I was slowly realising that my will to protect him was a lot stronger than I thought, and that I wanted. I already knew I was involved in this more than I wished to be, not only because he was living here with me, but morally speaking. But it kept on evolving and I was a bit worried about where it would go.

After all, Mello's ambition was pretty simple: he wanted to find his true love. And me? My situation was an easy one, I had a well-paid job, a nice flat which I owned, a pretty car, all the stuff I wanted in said apartment, I had a little fortune aside, but what did I want from life? Yeah, I could find myself wishing to find my true love sometimes, but that wasn't even a priority. If that happened, that was cool, if not, I had no problem with that. I didn't expect anything from life. It was pretty dull, huh?

So there was a possibility that since I had no energy to spare for myself, I could use it to help him. He deserved it. He wasn't calculating his actions, he just acted with his mind, his heart, doing what seemed right to him. That was sweet and innocent, but that was good. Funny sometimes. But very good. No lies, no cheating, no trying to get something, just sincerity. Who's like that nowadays? The society is so rotten, Mello would be eaten alive if I left him on his own. I had to preserve him. He was a beautiful being, and I wanted him to stay that way.

Oh shit... worried about where it would go? I knew exactly where this was going. He was beautiful, inside, and outside, and looking at him lying there, I could feel it going in one direction: I was falling for him. Damn... That shouldn't even happen. That was so wrong, he wasn't even gay. Not that I knew at least. And there wasn't even a single chance that he'd look my way, I was insignificant compared to him, and probably even compared to most people. I had no special skills or talent, no sense of fashion, nothing that could make me stand out, just a tasteless gamer used to be lonely... Don't misunderstand me, I didn't think low of myself, I just considered myself average. Very average.

I suppose that it was now that I would put in practice the unconditional aspect of having feelings for someone: helping them find what they wanted even if it's hurting you...  
I closed the window and went to bed. It was still early according to my gamer on days off schedule, but since Mello was sleeping, I had better do the same so I wouldn't wake him up accidentally.  
In the dark, I kept on staring at what I could distinguish of his face. What was I pulling myself through?  
Mello shifted slightly and opened his eyes. I quickly closed mines, not wanting him to feel observed. I felt his hand search for mine, and hold it gently, before his breathing became even again, proof that he had fallen back to sleep.  
It kept me awake for a long moment, because I had no clue why he was holding my hand. I was hopeful and at the same time I stomped over my own hopes, before they got too high up, where I had no control over them.

I woke up to something tickling my neck, then noticed a weight on my shoulder. I opened wide eyes when I realised that I had Mello's head resting on me, his hair falling in my neck, and he was still holding my hand, both resting on my chest. I tried not to move, because it was just too awesome and I didn't want to wake him up.  
I smiled to myself and instinctively began to pet his hair with my free hand. When I realised what I was doing, it was too late, I was already touching him, but it didn't seem to be a problem to him as I felt him wake up. I was slightly afraid that he'd freak out since he didn't like to be touched, but too late for too late, I kept on caressing his silky soft hair.  
My heart started beating faster when I felt him snuggle closer and hold my hand a bit tighter. He was so warm...  
"Good morning, Mello." I murmured, my lips against his hair. It felt so good... I was hoping that it meant something, but at the same time, I could hardly believe it.  
"Good...morning Matt." he replied, confirming that he was fully awake.

He finally left my side, letting go of my hand, and sat criss crossed on the bed, staring at me with that same questioning look I had seen on his face several times already.  
"Matt." he simply said, still staring.  
"Yes Mello?" I pushed myself against the pillow, sitting to face him, encouraging him with a silent look to speak further.  
"You... good. You are good."  
"Huh... thanks?" I wasn't sure I knew what he meant.  
He smiled to me. There was something different. I couldn't place it though. Maybe something... shy in his eyes. I don't know, it was hard to explain. But this smile... it really gave me issues with my self control.

I went to take my morning shower, and when I came back, Mello was absorbed in the book I bought him, sat on the bed. I had other books here, not many though, a few comics mainly, a dictionary, barely two or three novels, but even if he could have looked at the comics, he was focused on his book instead.  
I sat on the border of the bed. "I'll read it to you after breakfast, okay?"  
Mello properly beamed, his smile wider than ever.  
"Yes." he nodded.

A little later, we were sat on the couch, the book half on my thigh, half on Mello's, and I was reading the lines, showing the images related to specific words to him.  
Oh God, when I had to explain about cow milk and why humans drank the milk of another species... it ended bad, let me tell you. I think I was about to go vegan simply because I didn't want to hurt Mello's feelings about animals. But how could I explain to him that I'd still drink milk or eat meat even if it required animals to be killed? I had not a valid reason to give him except that I liked it, which suddenly didn't seem to be legit, at all. Pretty selfish even. Ah. Goodbye tasty bacon and greasy burgers... I guess I could live without. Anything as long as I didn't have to see Mello so sad...

I had to ask. When Mello closed the book, after I had finished reading it to him, we were shoulder against shoulder, thigh against thigh.  
"Mello... how do I say this... have you solved your... touching issues, I mean, this morning you... I... you know... and now..." Oh yeah, he was surely understanding me right now, as clear as mud.  
But he did.  
"Matt." he glanced at me, "You are confused." he stated.  
"Obviously." I chuckled.  
"I understand. I am scared... but... I want touch... no... I want to touch. I... I like."  
"Oh. Great. I mean, that's progress." I could feel a pang in my chest, because once he'd have gotten over his issues completely, I'd probably be useless to him, he'd be ready to move on. Until then, he'd have learnt more about Earth and maybe he'd want to be on his own to find what he came for. That made me anxious. And sad.


	30. Chapter 30

_**Note:**__ I told myself a few chapters ago (after the rewind) that this would probably be 30 chapters long in the end. But I didn't mention it here, because as usual, I was so freaking wrong XD_

_Sorry for the late update, I did my best, I wrote this in one hour so there may be even more typos than usual..._

* * *

While I was preparing myself lunch, Mello settled in front of Harvest Moon, and it gave me an idea.  
After I finished eating, I made a quick search on the internet, and a few minutes later, I had managed to get Mello to save the game and come with me.  
He didn't ask me where we were going, probably feeling that I wouldn't say anything, I wanted to surprise him.

When I parked in front of the huge flower market, I saw his eyes widen. He glanced at me, then back at the large display of plants, then back at me.  
"Real life Harvest Moon!" I laughed in front of his stunned expression. Even I found the market beautiful, and I wasn't even a plant person.  
I pushed him forward, and we began wandering along the aisles. I remembered suddenly that I hadn't repeated any rules to Mello, but I obviously didn't need to, he was keeping silent, his eyes not knowing where to look. I was a little worried though, since there were a lot of people.

"Helloooo darling, these were prized last month, the best variety in the whole country, you won't find them anywhere else but here!" a fat woman in her fourties called out to Mello as he had been staring at a... whatever flower it was very intently.  
"He's Finn, he doesn't speak English very well." I told her, as I saw panic rise in Mello's eyes.  
"Oh." she nodded.  
"We're just looking anyway." I added before she said anything more.  
"No problem!" she replied, smiling.

The market was so huge that after more than one hour, we had only seen half of it. I could have been bored, but looking at Mello so pleased to be here, that was worth it.  
Seriously, seeing him so happy, I thought that maybe I could bring some happiness home. He didn't ask for anything, and it made me want to spoil him even more.

As he had been standing for at least ten minutes in front of a display that looked like an English garden, I grabbed an empty crate and came close to Mello: "Which ones?" I chuckled, as he looked at me with disbelief.  
"You buy me? Again?" he whispered, careful that no one heard.  
"I'd buy you the whole market but my apartment isn't big enough I'm afraid."  
"But I... have plants."  
"The game doesn't count, they're not real plants." Mello was really cute, "Why not try with real plants?"  
"I don't... I never care for plants." he said with a worried look.  
"We'll ask the seller how to take care of them, don't worry."

Mello chose lavender, peonies and yellow cosmos (which somehow was funny considering the name), and I got him a small lemon tree too, when we reached the end of the market. He was so excited, and also totally scared that he wouldn't be able to take care of them.  
Unfortunately, during the drive home, one of the pots fell when I took a turn in a street, and it broke. Mello was on the verge of tears. Oh God, it broke my heart.  
I quickly drove to the center to find a flower shop where I could buy a new pot, reassuring Mello that the plant wouldn't suffer and that we'd put it in a new pot as soon as we got home.  
I bought several pots to be ready for any further accident, some more loam, and a tiny watering can.  
We came back to the car and I repaired the damage in my trunk to make sure the peonies could survive until we got home, then we headed for my apartment.

Mello was so happy with his plants, I couldn't help but laugh while I smoked and he put the peonies in a new pot very carefully, then placed the others on the windowsill with them, and sat on the couch's arm to look at his precious new friends.  
I suddenly realised how lively my apartment started to look, not only because of Mello, but with the flowers, and the items that didn't belong to me on the side table. It wasn't much, but I loved it. I loved the feeling of being able to make someone else happy with almost nothing, the impression of animation in a place that were so lonely before...  
My last relationship had been so complicated, I realised only now that it was meant to fail. For once, I was starting to know what I wanted. I wanted simplicity, sincerity.  
My ex boyfriend was always talking about being unsatisfied, there was always a fancy place to be, a party that we couldn't miss, hot spot holidays to spend, projects to make for our future that included dreams of a bigger house than his friends', a better job, new friends to make...  
And there was Mello, satisfied with tiny things, always speaking his mind, never asking for anything from me, being himself. He just wanted to be happy. I could have bought him the moon, he didn't care for it, he didn't need it.

"Mello, let's celebrate." I told him, killing my cigarette in the nearest ashtray.  
"Celebrate what?"  
"Your plants." I pushed him to the door, grabbing my keys and wallet, "There's nothing too little to celebrate."  
That's exactly how I felt, and how I wanted to live from now on. It was a really small, insignificant thing for most people, buying plants. But it meant so much for Mello...

And I needed to start introducing some more of the real world to him. We went back to the center of Pasadena and sat in a bar. I had almost forgotten that he couldn't drink, but I ordered two beers and told him that I'd discreetly trade glasses once I would have finished mine, because it would look weird if he didn't have a drink for himself.  
I had chosen a space near the window so Mello could see the people come and go in the street. But he was really nervous. He eased off after a while, but as I exchanged our glasses, I saw him tense again.  
"What's wrong?" I asked him, refraining myself from looking in the direction he was looking in.  
"People looking at me. Woman. She looks long."  
"I'm not really surprised, you're pretty eye-catching." Now, I think I was getting jealous...

The woman apparently kept on staring so I finished my glass and we left, Mello was really uneasy.  
I gave a glance her way as we exited the bar. Fucking cougar, she was fifty at least, dressed like a teenager and wearing too much make up (but not enough to hide her age...)  
I couldn't blame her though, it was impossible not to look at Mello.

The night was falling, but the weather was really cool so I showed Mello around. We looked at the stores windows, the buildings, he had so many questions, and I did my best to reply, realising that I was pretty ignorant myself sometimes.  
As we went down one of the main streets, many people chatting animatedly at cafes' terraces, couples walking hand in hand, teenagers groups messing around, I could see how people stared at him. He was just so stunningly beautiful that they couldn't help it. Women, girls, they were almost gaping at him. He didn't realise the reason why, but he didn't appreciate getting so much stares all the same.  
Unconsciously, he took my hand, coming closer. I saw the look of spite in many eyes all of a sudden.

"Mello, people think we are a gay couple now." I whispered to him.  
"Gay? Man with man?"  
"Yes, you're holding my hand and it's not something men that are not a couple do, usually. I mean, I don't care what people think, you can hold my hand in public if you want, it's just that finding love when people think we are a couple may not be really easy for you. There's a lot of girls here that could hit on you, if they believe you are gay or that you're my boyfriend, they won't even try."  
"Oh." Mello simply said. But he didn't let go of my hand and just kept on walking beside me.  
At that point I wasn't sure he had understood me, but just as I was about to speak, he looked at me, smiling, like if he had sensed my words coming. "I want to hold your hand." he added.  
Well, now that was clear... I suppose.

We went back to my apartment a while later, and I suggested that we watched a movie, since Mello was unlikely to have seen one yet, which he confirmed. Dull, dull, planet...  
I spread my blue-ray collection on the coffee table, and wasn't even surprised when Mello picked Labyrinth with David Bowie, because of the cover full of animals and various weird creatures.  
A few minutes later, he was sat criss crossed on the couch, barefoot, completely absorbed, and I didn't know if I should look at the TV screen or him, the show was probably even more interesting on Mello's side, the expressions on his face, the way he smiled, opened wide eyes, gaped at the décor, it was priceless.  
Everything was priceless with him.

I munched on junk food, probably giving much more attention to Mello than the movie, and I could tell how interested he was in it, because he didn't even sense me watching, which he usually did.

I wanted to hold him. I couldn't, but I wanted at least to be closer, and I approached, careful not to make him uneasy. To my surprise, he took my hand, his eyes not leaving the TV screen. We stayed like this until the movie ended, but then he turned to me, his eyes so soft.

"Matt." Mello held my hand tighter, and my heart rate increased dramatically. There was something about the way he said my name, and just that. It made me feel, although I hadn't related at first when Mello had showed me how himself felt when looking at the children book, exactly like him. It gave me a feeling of deja-vu along with a warmth spreading in me, it was all at once comforting and confusing because I didn't know why I felt this way. It was really, really strange, "Matt, I like to touch, I... mean? Is right word? I mean... I like to touch you and you touch me. I don't touch other humans."

If my heart had been beating fast, now it was racing to the point I could feel my temples pump blood. I wasn't sure, with Mello's broken English, that I had understood correctly. I always needed to clarify because it was playing with my emotions...  
"It's normal, you've only known me so you're getting used to me. You'll eventually get used to others once you will meet other people, don't worry." I tried to make it sound reassuring for him, when I was now really hurting inside. Damn... was I jealous? No... it wasn't even that. I was starting to understand that no matter how much I wanted him, he would go and pursue his dream no matter what, I was just a stopover point for him, someone to help him at this stage of events so he could move on.

Mello looked sad, but maybe it was something more akin to fear, I didn't know for sure. It was probably scary for him to think about meeting other people.  
He kept silent, bringing his hand back in his lap. It was starting to worry me. There was obviously something wrong, but Mello was used to speak his mind so that must be _really_ wrong.  
"Hey..." I said, taking his hand again, just in case he needed to find his words, "Did I say something wrong?"  
"You want I go..." he whispered, looking down.  
"I... I never said that... I..." Is that what he understood from what I had said?  
"You say I get used to others after I say I don't want touch others" he cut me, "and now I feel you think I go for others... I... confused. I feel you like me but... you want I go for others, I don't understand."  
"Mello... I never said I want you to go... but you're here to find love, so at some point _you_ will want to leave, even if I like you, I mean, how could you find love if you stay here? You need to meet people to find the one for you. You are getting used to me, to the touch with me, but it's because you've been here for a while now, but it will be the same with other people, you don't have to be scared, you will get used to it with everyone, don't worry..."  
"No. I mean not... not touch others, I don't want. No need get used to others. I want just you. I am less scared but still scared, but you are good. I don't want others. I get used to you." Mello stated, and he was looking straight at me, with that shy smile I had seen on his lips before.  
"Mello, I just want to make sure I understand exactly what you're trying to say... Why don't you want to get used to others? You don't want to meet other people? That's your only chance to find someone to love and that's what you came for, right?"  
"Yes. But I find. No need others, I need get used to you because I find you. You are good for me. Not that word... you are right for me. I find love with you."


	31. Chapter 31

_**Note:** This chapter will bring you a lot of déja-vu, it's mainly a filler because I needed these situations to occur again, and I couldn't make them too much different from the first time, so the dialogs will look familiar, as well as the events, even if I tried to add a little differences for it not to be too boring to read again. But I think it's still pretty boring, sorry.  
_  
_This is also the last chapter for things to set in place after the rewind, then we can have things happening again (action, finally!). But that also means that the fic is ending soon because the second (and true) ending is very close. That means that the lemon is, too ;)  
A lot will happen, a lot will be explained, don't worry, nothing will be left behind ^^_

* * *

Mello made things appear so simple that I wanted to believe they were.

"How can you know I am right for you if you never met anyone else?"  
You know, I wanted to slap myself for keeping up asking questions when I should just have been happy with what had just happened. I mean, Mello confessed to me, and still I was trying to be rational, to make sure that's what he wanted and that he had weighted the whole situation.  
"First I don't know. You are scared and you act mean with me but I understand. I am alien, it is complicated and I can hurt you. After, I feel you like me, you are kind with me. Maybe you are kind because you want me, so I am... careful. But I feel what you feel, strong. And I also feel love after days, I don't want, but it can't go away. I learn the feeling, love. I come for love but I am scared with love in me, it is strong, I am unused. I change, I love you more, because you are pure. You... no lie, no bad, even with past. Always good person. I try not love you, I... want to know others, I don't know who I want so I need meet many people to find love. I think you want I go but I want to stay. No good. Better I don't love you because you are not only human, and you don't want me I stay. But my heart beats loud, it is more each time. And... beautiful. I like to see you. Hair, eyes, everything you have, I like. I fight but me... my... body wants you. My heart beats, my body wants, I can't fight. I understand love more. People can't fight love. So I know. I want you. Because I find no one like you. I don't search, no need, I know."  
"But you... you realise that you won't have children with me, I mean... two guys can't have babies and..."  
"I want love, not babies. I know what gay is."

Well then, maybe it was as simple as it seemed.  
He had fallen for me, just like I had fallen for him, and, human, alien, whatever... when you fall for someone, you don't need to compare, there's no trying to look elsewhere for what you already found, right? Somehow, it related a lot to what Mello had taught me until now. When you have the one thing that makes you happy, you don't need to search for a better version of it, you're already happy and it's enough.  
"You want I go?" Mello's voice suddenly reminded me that I hadn't even replied to his confession, and he was still hanging there, worried that I didn't want him.  
"Of course not! Mello, I'm not the most romantic kind of guy, I'm way too rational for that, I just needed to make sure you knew what you wanted because I wouldn't be able to cope with doubts and see you go in the end because you realise you made the wrong choice..."  
"I mate you." Mello smiled shyly. Then he let his head fall in the crook of my neck, his arm snaking around my waist. I held him against me, in shock. I had been so afraid that Mello broke my heart that I had asked for reassurance, and he had provided it, even more than I expected. I was the one to take care of him, but in the end, he was the one to teach me life on Earth.

I kept him close for a long moment, not daring to go further. I knew he was making great efforts to get used to be touched, because even if he liked it, there was always something in the back of his mind telling him that it was wrong. He was so formatted that he had a hard time letting go. I wanted more, but I couldn't allow myself any bold move without asking him first.  
But suddenly, I felt him properly pulsate. It was as if his whole body resounded from the sound of his beating heart. I could even feel it resound inside of me. That was just crazy.  
"There's no same sentence as I love you in my language." I heard him murmur.  
"You said it nonetheless." I smiled against his hair. Body language, even if it took a whole different meaning with Mello: was a lot stronger than anything he could have words for.

I let my hand pet his hair, the only thing I knew wouldn't freak him out, and he looked up at me, still with that shy smile on his lips. Oh fuck, I wanted to kiss him so badly... My fingers traced the shell of his ear, down to his jaw, before my palm cupped his cheek. I smiled back to him, looking straight into his eyes, and he didn't seem to be afraid of my hand being there. I pushed my luck, bringing his chin upward with my thumb, but stopped mere millimetres from his lips. I shouldn't do that...  
"Mello I... will you be scared if I kiss you?" I whispered against his lips.  
"Yes." he replied, "But I want."

I only deposited a chaste peck on his lips at first, then two, three. Mello's hand found my shoulder, and the way his grip tightened urged me to deepen the kiss. Not that I needed encouragement, but I was so careful not to scare him away, that was refraining me from going further. But then I just couldn't stop myself. I could feel his eagerness when I started sucking on his lower lip, he was mimicking me, reading me, learning how to kiss. It made things so much more intimate, because there was no rush, I knew his pace and he knew where I wanted to go next, and he would initiate every step, showing me how far he wanted to go from what he could see in me.  
I felt his tongue tease my upper lip, and my shoulder became painful under his hold. He was losing himself in the exchange, there was no learning anymore, once our tongues brushed and our mouths pressed hard against each other. I could feel my hormones rush in me. I wanted to let my hands roam all over him and had a hard time refraining myself, especially when Mello was kissing me so feverishly... Damn, it felt amazing. And so frustrating at the same time.

But Mello stopped abruptly, panting, looking shocked.  
I didn't need long to identify the problem, since I had the exact same in my pants. Except that I was at ease with it, Mello wasn't.  
I cupped his face with my palms: "Shhh, that's okay Mello, it's normal, don't be scared." We had discussed this before, how they mated on Emaghi, the fact that the no-touch rule applied especially to genitals, I had wondered at that time how they coped with things down there when they manifested by themselves but hadn't dared to ask because well, I felt really uncomfortable asking stuff like that, but it was now obvious that Mello had no clue about what was happening in his pants. Damn, Emaghi was a giant frigid planet...  
"I... it's... sex?"  
Oh fuck, that was still pretty embarrassing...  
"Hum... when it gets bigger down there, it's called an erection Mello. That's what you have now, an erection."  
Maybe I'd do good with kids? After that, I think I'd be topnotch, sexual education-wise.  
"I see you want to... copulate. I feel. I'm scared."  
"I know... I can't help it Mello. Yes I want you, physically I mean, but you don't have to be scared of that, I won't do anything you don't want me to. You have to get used to your own body first, then we'll see for the rest."  
"I don't know... I want to... touch my erection but it is bad, I can't."  
"It's not bad Mello, it's normal. It's your body reaction to what we just did, there's nothing wrong with that."  
"But I don't touch, I am not allowed..."  
How frustrating and confusing must it be to have your body want something so badly, and have your mind want the opposite? I had no clue to help him. Except patience, and time.

"Let's go to bed." I stood up and pulled him across the room. We quickly got into our pyjamas and just when I was making sure not to touch Mello, he came closer. I fell asleep with his head on my chest, his arm across my waist. I would have thought that he'd be afraid to touch me again, but it seemed that each step we gained was acquired for good, which was reassuring.

I had the dirtiest dreams that night, and woke up with a painful hard-on. I managed to hide it to Mello when I got up, and ran to the bathroom.  
I hadn't counted on Mello's curiosity, but he followed me, totally unphased by the fact that I was taking my clothes off to get under the shower. I had planned to relieve myself in the comfort of my bathroom but that was unlikely to happen. I had forgotten Hank on the border of the sink, and well, let me tell you that explaining what it was for with a raging erection to a Mello that wanted only one thing: to know how I used it, was absolutely weird.  
I managed to avoid the demonstration with a lot of persuasion, to get rid of my lower half's problem with a deep breathing work, and finally ended up showered, fully dressed and having breakfast with no sanity threatening event more.

I think I had ran out of my outdoor quota with everywhere we had gone the previous days, and decided to stay at home. I still had a lot to learn about Mello, a lot to tell him for when he'd be alone, I also wanted to make sure he wouldn't get bored. He could play games, I could buy him more images books, there was still the TV, but that would do for a limited amount of time.  
Mello wanted to look as human as possible. Although I secretly hoped that he'd always stay just the way he was, I had to admit that he'd need to learn a lot if he wanted to blend in, and it started with being able to read, to speak proper English, and to know the basic rules in society.

Thank you internet. I could, in a few clicks, know of the best manuals to help Mello learn how to read, and order them. They were made for kids but as long as they worked... and Mello didn't have a problem with children books, to say the least. It was lucky that looking at the pages didn't use it because his would already be falling to dust right now. I also bought English manuals, that he could use once he could read (I didn't really doubt his abilities, they were pretty amazing). That would at least last a few weeks, then I'd find other ways to keep him entertained. I didn't want him to leave the apartment as long as I wasn't sure that he could manage on his own but I felt a bit guilty to force him to stay inside.

We spent the last days of my holidays talking about his planet, about humans, society rules, places he'd like to see (next holidays: the sea! Self reminder: buy a whole truck of sunscreen cream).  
Mello played games, watered his plants, stared at his plants, stared some more, took the first shower of his life with me (that was hilarious, especially when we made crazy stuff with our lathered hair), stunned me when he lifted the couch with only one hand to pick up my lighter that I had let fall under it, and I mean, I was still sitting on the couch... in short, life with him was great. Funny, often really weird with these abilities of his that I was discovering little by little, embarrassing sometimes, but my holidays were over too fast.

We hadn't explored much more physical contact, Mello tensing each time our kisses got heated, and I didn't want to rush him. If it had to happen, it would. Saying that I was sexually frustrated was an understatement, and I was surprised at my self control, especially not knowing if he'd be able to get over his resistances someday. But well, I loved him so I suppose it made things easier.  
He would still fall asleep in my arms, adjusting his sleep pattern on me (but I suspected that our polluted air and the various stimulations he received on Earth, that he had never known on his planet, tired him), we'd kiss to say good morning, good night, he would hug me for no reason, anytime, and I could still hug him back, but I kept it down to this, mostly.

When I had to go back to work the next Monday, I was overly anxious.


	32. Chapter 32

I had repeated recommendations one last time during breakfast, made sure Mello had anything he could need (which wasn't much, he was pretty low maintenance), I had made him call me on my cell phone one more time to be sure he remembered how to reach me, should he need it, told him I would call him at noon to check on him and that he had to make sure it was my name showing on my home phone before answering (he could at least recognise my name, even if he couldn't read) otherwise he shouldn't answer the phone, and I left after a very long hug. I think he was as anxious as me, I could feel he didn't want me to go.

It was hard to focus on my screen at work.  
After making conversation with my colleagues, I had learnt a bit more about the 'hot air balloon' incident. The S.E.T.I. had dismantled the spaceship and they were studying it. Except that, they had nothing. Now, I was sure that they had no idea that someone was in the spaceship. They suspected it because it couldn't have arrived here alone, but they had no clue, no trace, no information. I was so relieved!  
Now I knew that Mello was fully safe. It was only a matter of time until he could speak English fluently, and then he'd learn how to act in every situation and he'd be fine.

At noon, I isolated myself and called Mello, and I immediately knew that the books I had gotten him wouldn't probably even last the day, when I thought that he'd need weeks to learn.  
His English was a lot better, which meant that he had learnt to read already, since he couldn't use the language manuals if he hadn't gone through the reading method first. I was so proud of him!

The afternoon seemed so long that I wanted to scream. When I finally could go home, I made a quick detour to the flower shop. Yes, I wanted to spoil him. He didn't need to deserve it, but then, we had his reading abilities to celebrate after all.

I almost got stabbed with the cactus I was carrying when I opened the door and Mello ran into my arms.  
"Hey!" I laughed, "Easy there, that thing stings!" I held the plant on my side, hugging Mello with my free arm and kissing his cheek as he snuggled against me.  
"So, a little bird told me that you can read now?" I brushed a strand of blond hair behind his ear, looking fondly at him. I could get used to come back home to this...

Mello nodded, and I could feel the happiness deep within him. This thing was probably the most amazing of all, because we could communicate in a more intimate way than any other couple would ever be able to.  
"So," I said, handing out the cactus to him, "This is to celebrate your newly acquired reading skills," and, once he had taken it, and was depositing it on the windowsill with his other plants, grinning, I snaked my arms around his waist from behind, "and this is because I missed you today. A lot."  
I kissed his shoulder, and I was surprised when he tilted his head to give me better access. No need to say that blood rushed immediately to a certain part of my anatomy. I was so sex deprived that any little thing could trigger my desire for him. I don't know how long I would be able to control myself...

I deposited more kisses, sloppier, everywhere I had access to, my hands finding his hips. I could feel my member harden, and I didn't want him to feel it, which was close to happen if I stood behind him like this, so I took his hand and pulled him to the couch. Once sat beside him, I could hide my physical reaction with the hem of my tee shirt, at least. I think he knew it anyway, but as long as he didn't have to see or feel it, he seemed to get along with it.

I resumed kissing him, trying not to take things too far, but Mello apparently wanted more. I couldn't push him away, I wanted it as much as he seemed to, and finally just let things happen. I was too far gone now, with Mello limp in my arms, letting me lick and kiss and suck at his neck and jaw. I found his lips, and pushed him against the arm of the couch, ending on top of him as our tongues started to brush. No need to say that, located like this between his legs, it was soon very hard for him not to notice my erection. It was also impossible for me to miss his own.  
I was preparing myself for Mello to freak out any second now, but it just didn't seem to happen. If anything, he was pulling me even closer, the kiss completely out of control.  
I was the one to freak out when I suddenly felt the small of my back crushed under his arm. He was holding me so strong that it was beginning to be painful, he didn't control his strength anymore, and I had to stop everything when I just couldn't take it anymore.  
"Mmm... Mello... Mello!" I managed to utter his name, but I was in such a pain that I could hardly breathe.

He froze, letting me go.  
I lifted myself and sat with difficulty, but I quickly grabbed his hand.  
"It's okay Mello, I'm fine." I could see that he was mortified, "It's all fine, I promise."  
"But I've hurt you..." he was crying now, and I was getting all his apologies through our silent bond. I didn't want him to feel like that, but I was scared, and I knew he could get my own feelings just as I was getting his. I couldn't refrain that... it would make us take a step backward for sure, but there was nothing I could do about that.  
"We'll be more careful next time. Really, I'm fine. Come here." I pulled him into my arms, there was no way we couldn't get over that.  
"What if I break you?"  
"You won't. See, I told you and you stopped, so that's okay, we don't have to worry." I smiled to him, trying to be reassuring. I was also trying to be toward myself, but anyway, I couldn't believe that he'd be able to harm me seriously. A few bruises wouldn't kill me, he wasn't a monster, and even losing control, I was sure he'd stop if I asked him to. Just like I would if he felt I was going too far.

I released him only when I was sure he had calmed down.  
"So, tell me what you did today." I smiled, as I stood up to fetch myself something for dinner.  
Mello followed me in the kitchen, forgetting about our little incident and obviously happy to talk about his progress.  
"I learnt to read, then I learnt the first English book, and I read my book, and I wanted to write but I didn't know where to write."  
"Ah, I haven't even thought about that! So you can write, you think?" I left my plate in the microwave to heat up and went back in the living room. I pulled a bunch of paper out of my printer stash and took a pen on my desk, then gave them to Mello sat at the counter.  
I shouldn't have been surprised, but it touched me a lot nonetheless, when the first thing he wrote was _Matt_.  
"How do you write your name in your language?" I was suddenly curious. Mello wrote it down. It looked like a mix of Sanskrit, Japanese, Arabic, something with curves, weird shapes, I couldn't tell but it was strange to see the writing from his own planet for the first time.

I laughed out loud when I realised that while I was eating, he was writing down the whole text from his children book, by memory alone.  
"How many times did you read it once you could read it alone?"  
"I didn't count." Mello replied, smiling.  
"I will have to buy you more books." I chuckled.

The next morning, I left for work with the same recommendations as the previous day. I hoped that Mello wouldn't be bored because he had only English language books to study, and considering how fast he progressed, by noon he'd probably be other with them. He had Harvest Moon too, but since he had his own plants, the game had lost most of its appeal to him. It was confirmed when I called him. Damn, I was pretty sure that he'd end up being able to learn any language.

I bought his some books and magazines on my way home, wondering how many times he'd have read his children book today, the thought making me smile.  
I was growing impatient, waiting for the elevator. Damn, work was going to be hell if I felt like this everyday, missing him so badly and being so eager to go home to be with him.

I turned the key in the lock, readying myself for Mello to pounce me as soon as the door would be open. But as I entered, he was sat on the floor. He had his books, the ones from Emaghi, open around him, and he was crying, looking completely lost. I suspected that he had read his parents' story and that the feelings had overwhelmed him. I hadn't seen him do that yet so I had no idea how it would make him feel...  
He only acknowledged my presence when I called his name softly, worried.  
"Mello? Hey, what's wrong?"  
He stood up, and I got shocked by the wave of feelings pouring out of him. Even with the distance, something extremely powerful was emanating from him. He walked to me, fast, his expression so determined, so self assured that he looked almost foreign to me, and brought his arms around my neck, holding me tight, cheek against cheek.

He became warm, too warm even.  
I tried to speak, but a sudden rush of images flooded my mind, rendering me speechless. I had no idea what was happening. I was seeing things I didn't understand, and I was starting to be scared. I tried to withdraw from Mello, but it wasn't only his arms keeping me against him. There was something else, I couldn't move, like attracted by a magnet, a very strong magnet. I realised that Mello had the ability to keep me in place...

I could feel tears start to roll on my face and fear take over me. In my head, events were unfolding, there was Mello, there was me, other people I thought I didn't know, but suddenly I knew who they were, and all was rushing into my brain like memories of the past, but I had never lived that past, I was seeing things I felt had happened to me, I knew it, I was there, but it didn't fit in my reality...

Those events kept hitting me like many shots, too much information at once and my brain processed it all the same, forcing it in, it was almost painful, I felt like my head was about to explode with the flood of feelings associated to these images, my heart was beating in my temples, and I began to shake under the violence of certain events.  
It didn't stop, I was too overwhelmed to keep track of time, too panicked too, but it felt like hours, I could feel Mello's energy wrap around me, forbidding me to try to escape his arms, but it was too much for me, and the more my mind filled with all those flashes, the more it drained my body of any strength.

I could feel my legs give in and Mello fall on his knees with me, hugging me, whispering me not to be scared, but that he had to do it. So I trusted him. I stopped being afraid, and I let him do whatever he was doing.  
It lasted so long, and it was heart wrenching, mind wrecking... The S.E.T.I., the cubicle, the tests, the escape, the rush... and then, our first kiss, all the little things we had shared, the book... and my clothes getting soaked under the rain, I was cold, my chest was so painful, and Mello was running to his spaceship, smashing doors, and he disappeared inside...


	33. Chapter 33

_**Note:** I know, I haven't respected the daily updates on Friday and Saturday. But I realised that this was actually the last chapter, it happened so fast that even I didn't see it coming. So as I was suoper busy IRL, I decided to simply postpone it to today so I could take my time to write a perfect ending. Well, perfect to me, I don't know for you. But it's exactly what I wanted it to be, so I'm quite satisfied with how this fic turned out, even if nothing went as planned :)_  
_At least, you have a long chapter to make up for two days without updates, and the lemon of course :D_

_I hope that you enjoyed reading me daily and sharing all the emotions I have put in this story, I enjoyed writing it a lot and will continue with regular updates on my other fics now, hoping you'll follow me there ;)_  
_I will move on to **Negative** now, which shall be completed next week because it's completely planned and is very short (and it's not a bad estimation this time XD ), and then I'll be back to **Too Sexy For My Shirt**, my second monster fic, and will complete it too although I can't tell how many chapters are left, although not much._  
_Then I shall get back to **Lithium** which is very far from being over, it probably has as many chapters left as what has been posted already so expect it to be around 100 chapters in the end, and start either **Bookbinding** or **Stay Tuned**, I haven't decided yet.  
I also have to work on my original fiction if I want it published someday hehe :)_

_Thank you to everyone that took this journey with alien!Mello with me, that was fun! And I love you dear readers!_

* * *

Suddenly, I was seeing through Mello's eyes, how he had left all of his memories in his books once in his spaceship, because he couldn't accept the fact that it was over, because he wanted to leave something, just in case someone was able to read our story someday. He wanted our love story to be written next to his parents'. I felt his despair, his pain, how much he loved me. He didn't have anything left in him, he knew I was dying. I understood that he could have flown away, the spaceship was functional. I saw it, through his own mind, how he had looked at the one button that could have saved his own life, and had decided to exit the spaceship and get shot. He couldn't sustain my heart anymore, and had refused to survive me. He could have erased his memories and forgotten me, but he just refused to do it...

He wasn't sure why the books still contained our story, why he had them with him in the first place, because he was sure he hadn't taken them with him after the rewind. He could only guess about Sejaleb reacting to humans killing a higher species, because it was alike to their line of action. He knew it had happened before, very long ago, with Unakis. He could only suspect that the books still being with him, not erased, had happened during the rewind. A mistake more than likely, or maybe their choice, it didn't matter, it was all over now.

I was still in his arms, on the floor, totally limp, unable to stand up or move for that matter. Mello had given me everything back, all the memories from what had happened, and actually never happened, our alternate reality... everything was colliding in my head because my brain couldn't make both as the one truth, I was confused, sad and happy at the same time, just... a mess. Physically and mentally. It was necessary, he couldn't help the violence of the transfer, no mind is ready for something like that, especially when the alternative is that awful. Damn, we had died...  
I felt so tired, it was pitch dark in the apartment, but I didn't have the energy to leave my position, sobbing in Mello's arms. He picked me up from the floor and carried me to the bed. Carefully, he took my shoes off, my jeans, my tee shirt, he was so tender that I cried even harder.  
He undressed too, slid under the sheets beside me and held me close, petting my hair until I dozed off. I woke up several times, screaming as the images of Mello being shot, the violence of the multiple shots throwing him back against his spaceship, blood everywhere, crept back in my dreams each time I could find sleep again. No matter how much I tried to tell myself that it had changed, that Mello was now here with me, very alive, his arms around me, kissing my tears away, it just wouldn't leave me.

When my alarm clock started beeping, it felt like being forced out of a hangover induced sleep. My head felt heavy, I hadn't had enough sleep, and I could barely get out of bed. Mello helped me get ready for work, but the day was a nightmare. My colleagues bought my heavy partying lie and mostly left me alone behind my computer screen.  
I came back home totally exhausted.

The same days repeated until the end of the week. I would wake up, Mello would help me get ready, making sure I ate, I would try to hold on at work, and would come back home only to fall in Mello's arms. He took care of me, of my nightmares filled nights, we barely talked but it was useless, I wasn't as strong as him, and only time would make me get better. He reassured me silently, I slept, he cooked for me even, I ate, he ran my bath, I cleaned up, I went to work always feeling him connected to me, and slowly, my mind calmed down, finally putting some order in this mess and accepting what once was and had to be left behind, settling me back in this reality, this happy reality. All that remained in the end, from before the rewind, was the certitude that my true love had fallen from the sky, literally, and that no matter the events, I would have found him. I wasn't scared of losing him anymore, should Sejaleb decide to send us backward again, because I'd find him.  
That made me cherish him even more, because in the present, I had been given a whole life with him. In this alternative, he was mine for decades to come. Nothing would come in between, we were safe, Mello had enough pills for a hundred years, and we had enough love for centuries.

On Thursday, I started to feel a lot better, rested, even. It's only when I got up and saw Mello smile at me, his eyes sleepy, that I realised that he was awfully tired, and had stayed awake for days, because of me.  
I pulled the covers over him and leant to deposit a kiss on his forehead.  
"It's time you think of yourself... I wish I could stay to take care of you."  
"I'm fine, just tired, don't worry, I'll just sleep until you come home." Mello replied, his eyes closed, and as I kissed his cheek, his event breathing told me that he was already asleep.

I made sure not to make any noise until I left for work, grabbing a paper Mello had left on the kitchen counter along with my keys.  
I didn't dare to call him at noon. I knew, not feeling him, that he was probably heavily asleep... my poor Mello.

After work, I wanted to go back home as soon as possible, but I knew he was still asleep, and I really wanted him to get the rest he deserved. I felt blessed, having someone like him so dedicated to my well-being to the point that he forgot himself completely.  
And I had something to do. I had this strong will to be his, and I wanted a way to prove it. Mello didn't have a legal existence, and although I would make sure he got one - it shouldn't be too hard to get a fake ID and data if I paid for that – for now, I couldn't take the risk to make my love for him official.  
But he had come on Earth to find love. A mate.

As soon as I opened the door, once back home, I was pulled inside in his arms. I smiled against his shoulder. My arm was slightly throbbing, and Mello could feel it. I expected it, and hadn't said anything yet, but I observed as he withdrew from me and took my arm to see what was wrong with it.  
His jaw dropped as his eyes fell on the tattoo I just had gotten. It was small, barely three inches wide, still raw and a bit greasy from the healing ointment the tattoo artist had sold me.  
I wanted to mate Mello, and now his name was inked in my skin, in his native language, right at the same place where people from Emaghi got one when they mated.  
Mello was crying as he stared at it, before he just threw his arms around my neck and kissed me.  
He was literally pouring love right through me, and I was so proud to mate him. To really mate him. This tattoo wouldn't make me die at fifty, but aside from that, I knew that it was so close from the rules on his planet that for him, it was a lot more important than any civil union we'd have someday on Earth.  
Ten minutes later, I was driving him to the tattoo shop for him to get my name on his own arm. He wouldn't wait, and I couldn't refuse.  
The tattooist was a bit surprised at the thickness of Mello's skin, but he mostly laughed, seeing us as a cute couple.

One last day of work, and it was finally the week end. The week had been hard on us, but we were over it for good now. Sat in the tub, soaking in a comforting warmth, under a layer of bubbles, with Mello head resting on my chest, I could feel all the weight of the last events being lifted out of me.  
There was no need to talk, Mello knew of my train of thoughts.  
I was slowly accepting both realities, I didn't really have a choice anyway, because no matter if I hadn't lived all those events in that reality we were in now, they still belonged to us. If things hadn't happen this way, we wouldn't have had the actual reality. Everything was bound.  
But the most amazing was that no matter the parallel, I still had met him, we had still fallen in love, things had unfolded with many similarities. It was just meant to be. Except that this second time, our love wasn't threatened.  
I suddenly believed that I hadn't wanted to hand him out to authorities because of some force preventing me to do so. Mello just believed that I had acted because of my caring and kind nature. It wasn't important. I, among any other people, knew the value of what we had now. Of being given a second chance, of being saved.

But it also made me see him under another light. I mostly knew the cute side of him, the naïve, happy-go-lucky Mello. Now I knew of the man ready to sacrifice himself, the man that had endured so much, that could have killed and hadn't, the strong, determined, self-assured person he could also be. I realised how much circumstances could show of someone's personality. I had learnt a lot about myself too.

"I still have my baby Gilda in that reality, thank you Sejaleb." I chuckled, teasing Mello with a handful of bubbles.  
He tilted his head, his eyes looking up at me, a smile gracing his lips.  
A sudden rush of desire took over me. The sight of him, beautiful, his wet hair, his naked skin, it was just too much. Mello instantly felt it, it was against his back, and there was nothing I could do in that position to avoid my erection from poking him from behind... But as I thought that our bath was probably over, his eyes suddenly filled with lust, and he pulled me into a kiss that soon became needy, eager, demanding. I lost it.  
I had discovered this side of Mello that made me long even more for him, the way he could stand for himself, for me, rendering me totally unable to control myself as he pushed me further into the moist exchange. I wanted him, and the slight fear that he was so strong that he could break me if he lost it too was also a trigger. I was afraid and aroused by it at the same time... Oh God I just couldn't take this anymore, I wanted more of him...

I broke the kiss as Mello suddenly grabbed my hand, guiding it to his own member. He was so hard too... I could barely process the fact that he wanted me to touch him. It was unexpected, I had no idea if he had gotten over his issues on that topic, not that it mattered now, because all I wanted was, indeed, to touch him. My breath caught in my throat when my fingers reached his arousal. I was feeling that he was scared, and yet, he was sure he wanted it. I didn't have to ask him. Something about the situation, the memories we had gotten back, the fact that we had died for each other, I didn't know how to explain it, but Mello, and I was feeling it through him, just didn't care anymore about the rules he had lived by on Emaghi. He didn't belong there anymore, he wasn't human either, and he didn't consider me the same as other humans. Once again, it was just him and me, apart from anything else. All that subsided now was his slight fear of the act itself, but he trusted me so deeply that it moved me. The powerful energy that was coursing from him through me was making me weak and so strong at the same time, as his heart was properly beating inside of me, making my own body thump against him.

I let my hand slide down, palming his testicles, my lips finding his neck as he let his head fall on my shoulder, letting a shaky breath out. Gripping his erection, I slowly caressed him, my thumb doing little circles each time I reached the tip of his member. I used my free hand to explore his chest... I had wanted this for so long, and now he was letting me have it, there was no barrier in his mind anymore...  
A soft moan escaped his lips as my hand sped a little, and I felt him tense, the novelty probably too much for his self control. I stopped, I didn't want him to come so fast. Not in the bath.  
"Let's get out"  
I stood up and helped him step out of the bathtub. We dried each other quickly between kisses and touches, growing impatient. I pulled him to the bed, climbing on top of him, in awe. The beauty he was, his wet hair spread on the pillow, his so very clear eyes focused on me, loving, lustful, his body, his muscles, his curves... damn...

I plunged for a deep kiss, his hands creeping in my hair, pulling me closer. I resumed stroking him, before lowering myself, feeling him tense again. Not in the bath, but in my mouth. I took his length between my lips, twirling my tongue over his tip, softly probing the small slit, impatient. So very eager to taste him. He would come for the very first time, and I wanted this for myself. And he did... His thighs contracted, he was panting and moaning so sensually, totally lost in his pleasure, and the hot liquid soon flooded my tongue, running in my throat, and I swallowed it all, amazed by the amount of it.

I crawled up, looking lovingly at Mello, his half-lidded eyes half in shock, half satisfied by his very first orgasm, tears welling at the corner.  
I smiled down, caressing his cheek.  
"Matt." he simply said.  
I pecked his lips.  
"Mello."  
No need for more. To me, saying his name meant a lot more than thousands I love you's, because Mello _was_ love.

I was still hard as a rock, still wanting him so much it was painful. I kissed Mello, feeling him ready for more. He was silently begging me to make love with him, and it was sending jolts to my cock. I licked my way down from his jaw to his nipples, giving them their share of attention, delighted by the sounds coming from Mello. His moans were giving me a hard time not coming right then and there, I was on top of my excitement, sexually frustrated for weeks, but I had to be gentle, to take my time... it was his first time, and my first time with him, and I wanted this to be perfect. There would probably be some pain, I had planned to let Mello top me at first, but thinking of his strength, I had decided to go against my usual ways and not be bottom for once. If he lost it during the act, he could harm me unintentionally, and not only was it dangerous for me, but it would ruin everything for him. A first time is too important to take such a risk. I wasn't used to top, but I had done it already so that wasn't really a problem for me. I didn't mind it. But then, I had to make sure to inflict the less pain possible to Mello. And seriously, I couldn't care less right now if I was top or bottom, because I was on the verge of self-consuming.

I asked Mello to flip around on his stomach. I breathed in and out a few seconds, his curves really getting at my erection. He peeped at me through his bangs, over his shoulder.  
"I'll stop whenever you want, okay?"  
"Okay." he murmured, watching everything I did.  
I kissed his temple, then his shoulder, and let my tongue run along his spine, earning a shiver, down to the dimples just above his ass. I kissed them before parting his buttcheeks and letting my tongue explore him further.  
His breath caught in his throat as I probed his anus.  
I tried to calm down, feeling my member twitch painfully. I had to prepare him, despite the fact that all I wanted was to be inside of him right now...

I grabbed the bottle of lube in my side table, and spread some on my fingers and inside of him.  
"Still okay?" I asked, as I inserted a first finger and heard him gasp.  
"Ye...yes." his voice shook a bit.  
I was kissing his back, my free hand stroking his hip and thigh as I added a finger.  
"Does it hurt?" I asked him, feeling him tensed.  
"A little, but it's fine." Mello replied.  
I kept on moving my fingers in and out, changing directions to stretch him. I suddenly wondered if he had a prostate because I couldn't find it. Maybe he didn't have one?

"M...Matt... please... now." Mello suddenly urged me. I was growing really impatient and I knew he could feel it. The connexion we had made him feel everything I felt, especially now, with my throbbing cock and the lust and everything that made me a complete mess as I tried to prepare him, my patience wearing thin.  
I covered my erection with lube, throwing the bottle on the floor, unable to resist such an invitation.  
"Ready?" I still asked him anyway, because the last thing I wanted was to hurt him, although it was practically impossible for a first time not to feel pain. I knew he was urging me because of my own desire, putting himself aside once again.  
"Yes..." it was just a breath, but his eyes on me, looking over his shoulder, were smiling, and I saw his hand reach for his own erection under him, telling me that he was hard again...

I place myself over him, nested between his legs, and pushed myself inside of him, slowly, until I was fully sheathed.  
Mello moaned louder than before, and I let my forehead fall on his back, my arms on each side of him, resisting the urge to thrust, breathing to lower the pressure in my loins. Damn... I could feel that Mello wasn't in any pain. I don't know if it was his stronger built, our differences in body functions, whatever, but I was trying not to come when my balls were ready to shoot, and Mello was sending me waves of his own lust, and it was crazy to feel something like that. The exchange we were able to have was rendering all my past experiences to shit.

I finally regained enough control to prevent things to go too fast, and started moving inside of Mello. Oh fuck, it was so warm and inviting inside of him, my member, slick with lube, meeting no resistance, and soon I was pounding him to meet his silent expectations, his whole body asking me for more, his voice joining soon in breathy moans and soft calls of my name. I took his hands in mines, my own body moulded over his, breathing in his neck, leaving saliva trails on his nape.

Mello suddenly cried out in pleasure, panting even more, surprised painted on his face. He had a prostate, now that was for sure, and I made my best to hit this spot again and again, feeling my orgasm very close, drawn to the surface by the noises he was making, so fucking sensual...  
I felt him come without any other form of stimulation, just by the act itself, and with that knowledge and his ring muscle tightening in rhythm around my cock, I couldn't make it last any longer.  
I finally released in him, my climax so powerful after holding it for so long that I thought I was going to pass out.

I slid on Mello's side, not wanting to crush him under my weight, feeling my body give in after riding so high, and he crept in my arms, his cheek on my chest, trying to regain his breath.  
"Matt."  
"Mello." I kissed his sweaty forehead.  
I felt his fingers reach for my tattoo, carefully caressing the healing skin.


End file.
